You Won't Ever Be Lonely
by itzalliballi
Summary: What would happen if Derek followed Meredith's gaze to Mark in Where The Boys Are. MarkMer with bits of Addisex.R&R! Last chapter up!
1. Intro

**A/N: So, I've been working on this story for awhile now, but I didn't want to post it on here until I got at least a couple of chapters written out for ya'll. A lot of this chapter will probably seem familiar from the episode (except for the ending of course) This is a Mark/Mer fic, and there will be some Addi/Alex as well. I hope everyone likes it! Let me know! Starts off at the end of Where The Boys Are.**

**_ Life may not always go your way  
And every once in awhile you might have a bad day  
But I promise you now you won't ever be lonely  
The sky turns dark and everything goes wrong  
Run to me and I'll leave the light on  
And I promise you now you won't ever be lonely_**

For as long as I live  
There will always be a place you belong  
Here beside me  
Heart and soul baby -- you only  
And I promise you now you won't ever be lonely

It's still gonna snow and it's still gonna rain  
The wind's gonna blow on a cold winter day  
And I promise you now you won't ever be lonely  
You're safe from the world wrapped in my arms  
And I'll never let go  
Baby, here's where it starts  
And I promise you now you won't ever be lonely  
Here's a shoulder you can cry on  
And a love you can rely on  
For as long as I live  
There will always be a place you belong

Here beside me  
Heart and soul baby -- you only  
And I promise you now you won't ever be lonely  
No, no, you won't ever be lonely

**Andy Griggs****  
**

Marcus Sloane prided himself on not taking the easy way out, well most of the time, and more than that being one of a kind. So, he didn't take it too personally when Derek didn't invite him on the outdoor sleepover. He'd never been into the outdoors anyway. He had a lot of common interests with Derek, fishing was not one of them. Well not really a lot of shared interests, girls and medicine mostly. But that wasn't the point. At least not when he is sitting across from Meredith Grey at Joe's Bar.

"Why are you so certain that Derek is the one?" He leaned forward and crossed his arms across his chest on the table, causing his jacket to tighten in all the right places, showing off his well defined, and worked for, muscles.

"I'm not, but I think he is." She responded, a small smile spreading onto her lips as she made eye contact with Mark.

"Even with his needed 'space'?" He quirked his eyebrow, his eyes dancing in amusement as she shifted uncomfortably in her booth at the mention of space.

"Yes." she responded, but the uncertainty was etched stronger in her voice than she meant to show. She sat up straight, hoping to look more certain than she felt. Truthfully, the more space Derek took, the more uncertain she became about him. And now there was Mark.

"So, here's the thing, Mer." Mark grinned as he leaned even further over the table, now hovering over his nearly empty glass of beer.

"The thing?" she smirked, meeting him halfway in the table.

"Yeah." he confirmed, his fingers stretching themselves sporadically, trying to rid himself of all the nervousness that was bubbling in his stomach. Women had always been what he was good at. He couldn't figure out why it was so different with this girl. He did hate himself slightly for falling for another one of Derek's women, but he couldn't help who his heart wanted, and right then, he wanted Meredith Grey. She wasn't married, she wasn't in a relationship, she was single, and available, and Derek hated him. Nothing was really stopping him. "This could just be a drink, or this could be more than just a drink."

"Mark, I.. I can't start something with you." Meredith stumbled with her words, trying to convince herself just as much as she was him. When she said earlier that she was immune to the McSteamy face, she was lying. She was definitely lying, she realized that then, and she was only being taunted now by the fact that she had to turn him down.

"But you could, Meredith." Mark nodded, broadening his smile even more, while subtly leaning even more forwards towards her so that he could feel her breath on his cheeks,and most likely vice versa. "You could start over. Have a fresh start. We both could."

Meredith couldn't help but smile at the thought. Who can really hate the thought of hot sex with McSteamy? He had to be good in bed, why else would Addison stay with him? "Mark.." she began, trying her best to keep a serious face.

Just as she was about to refuse, his beeper went off. After looking down at his pager, he smiled sadly at her. "Saved by the bell." He laughed before standing up. "Order me a beer, will ya?" After a nod, he walked off, and Meredith soon followed, except she made her way to the bar for two more beers.

She was only standing there for less than a minute before a breathless Derek approached her, sticking out his hand her way. "Hi. Derek Shepherd."

"D.. Derek?" Meredith couldn't decide whether it was a good or bad thing that he showed up now, but she knew that it was unexpected. Not that Derek ever did what she expected. "What are you doing here?"

"We met at this bar, you remember?" Derek began, waving one of his hands in the air slightly for effect. "We met, and you said I am just a girl" He gestured his hand towards her, before moving it back towards his chest. "And I said I'm just a guy. And we started this thing." He nodded his head in confirmation, a content smile playing on his lips reminiscent of the infamous chase he gave her. "We started this thing, and you didn't know anything about me, the good, the bad, the wife, you didn't even know my name." He shook his head happily, fondly remembering waking up on the cold hardwood floor with only a pillow for cover, and being promptly kicked out of her house moments later. "You didn't know me. I want to you to know me. I want to start over, from the beginning. So hi, Derek Shepherd"

Start over. The words rang over and over in her mind, sounding strangely familiar to the best friend of the man saying them. Yet strangely, somehow it seemed more refreshing when Mark said them.

"You walked away, and now its too late, theres too much water under the thing or whatever" She looked directly into his eyes, looking for a reason to believe that they could work, but his eyes seemed duller than before, their vibrance all but disappeared since the night she met him, and she wasn't sure that it wasn't her fault.

"Meredith, please!" Derek tilted his head to the left, his infamous move when he was trying to read her, to make her understand his side. Meredith's eyes left his and traveled further back into the bar, landing on Mark, who was watching on with a slightly hopeful glimpse in his eye that maybe, just maybe he was really going to get a fresh start in this new city.

After a few moments, Derek followed Meredith's gaze to see what she was looking at, only to find his ex best friend giving her his charming smirk. Anger boiled up inside him as he clinched his fists before turning back to Meredith. "Mark? Are you kidding me, Meredith?" With that, he dropped his hand from handshake position and left, just as he entered, breathless and in a hurry.

Meredith watched on, but didn't have the energy to run after him, so instead she sat down at the bar, looking at the two drafts of beer in front of her that needed to be refilled. One was hers, and one was Mark's, but was he who it should've been? Could this really be more than just a drink? She'd been so certain for so long that Derek was the person she loved, and wanted to be with.

Mark watched on as Meredith obviously fought an inner battle, and was pleasantly surprised when she got Joe's attention for another round of drinks. With a smile on his face, he made his way to the bar and sat down beside her. "You alright?"

"This doesn't mean this is more than a drink." She informed him when she saw his smirk out of the corner of his eye, pushing his now full glass of beer in front of him,

"I just asked if you were okay, Meredith. I didn't ask you to marry me. Relax." Mark laughed before taking a sip.

"I'm fine." She responded shortly, contemplating if she should start on the tequilla. "I'm not sleeping with you tonight." she confirmed after deciding that tequila was definitely necessary.

"Then why are you still here, exactly?" Mark grinned in amusement as she stared at the three shots in front of her.

"Because he's gone already." She sighed, wondering exactly she'd gotten herself into.

"What if I said he's standing at the door waiting for you to follow him?" Mark was testing the waters, and possibly pushing the limits. But the way he saw it, he had to see if he really had a shot here, or if he was just doomed to get rejected. Rejection was not in his vocabulary.

Meredith's head shot up, eyes darting towards the door, only to find that Mark wasn't there. "That was cruel." she grinned slightly.

"I said what if." He chuckled, debating whether he, too, should change to something stronger than beer.

"I thought you came here for Addison." Strangely enough, this was the first time Addison had crossed her mind. She would have been a good reason to leave the bar after Derek. But here she was.

"I did, but I don't see that happening. We're.. we're different people than we were in New York."

"You mean, she's not married?" Meredith giggled in amusement at her witty remark.

"I didn't fall for her because she was Derek's wife." Mark's smile had disappeared, and a slightly angry glare had taken over.

"Sorry." she frowned, knowing she'd crossed a line.

"Anyways!" Mark shook the thoughts of Addison out of his mind, and focused his attention on Meredith. "So what's it going to be, Mer?"

**Please let me know what you think. **


	2. Letter Song

_** A/N: Thanks for the reviews! Song is The Letter Song by Tyler Hilton.**_

** I have been thinking, which I shouldn't do  
Cause it gets me in trouble and farther from you**

**I don't want a sentimental  
Short and sweet and confidential Goodbye**

**My thoughts belong in a book in a store  
Where they're silently read, but spoken no more**

**I didn't give my all and to be honest with you  
I didn't even try**

**Well I want you back so bad  
I'm gonna change the way I'm acting  
I'm gonna change and I'm so glad**

**I'm gonna write you a letter  
So much for the better  
And if it goes my way  
I'll have you running back to me**

**I'm a natural born forgetter  
So much for the better  
I can be romantic  
I just got to try to be**

**I have been thinking, again this is bad  
It seems that my thinking can drive you quite mad**

**But you can't say there's another word, though  
To call this feeling in my heart**

**I admit I take advice from more romantic minds  
But I can proudly reassure you this idea was all mine**

**I'm gonna write you a letter  
So much for the better  
And if it goes my way  
I'll have you running back to me**

**I'm a natural born forgetter  
So much for the better  
I can be romantic  
I just got to try to be**

**I admit I take advice from more romantic minds  
But I can proudly reassure you this idea was all mine**

**I can be romantic, I just got to try to be  
I can be romantic, I just got to try to be**

Meredith woke up the next morning alone in her bed. For a moment, she thought that it was all a dream. That is until she flopped back on the bed, landing on a card of some sort.

Mark's business card.

After quickly looking under the covers to find that she was fully clothed in her last night's attire, she flipped over the card to find a note scribbled sloppily, probably in the dark. Given that he was a doctor, she assumed it was probably still writing at his best.

**Mer, I have no idea what you're going to remember about tonight when you wake up, and that might possibly be for the best. No worries, you didn't sleep with me. (Lucky me, right?) See you later. Sloane**

**P.S- Sorry about the card. **

Flipping it back over to examine it more closely, she realized that he'd also handwritten his cellphone number. She thought momentarily of calling him, but decided against being recalled to how much alcohol she'd consumed. The last thing she remembered was turning off her cellphone when an unknown number kept calling her. Even thought she knew she didn't sleep with him, she was hoping she didn't do anything at all. But the chances of that were slim to none. After groaning and whining into her favorite feather pillow for a few more minutes, Meredith reluctantly rolled herself out of bed, forcing her feet to continue their journey to the bathroom to take a very long hot shower, hopefully to ease the headache that was worsening by every ray of light that hit her.

Half an hour later, Meredith stumbled her way into the kitchen, only to be greeted by two very nosy roommates, and Cristina.

"I KNEW YOU HAD THE MCHOTS FOR MCSTEAMY!" Cristina practically yelled, causing Meredith to shield her ears the best she could.

"Shut up, Cristina." Meredith finally mumbled as she let her hands fall when she felt it was safe. "Too early."

"What about McD.. What about Shepherd?" George asked, slightly confused as to what had happened. He woke up this morning to a very talkative Izzie going on and on about how she saw McSteamy leaving their house after only a half hour of silence in Meredith's room.

"I.. I don't want to talk about it." Meredith stated, pouring a to go mug full of black coffee before walking out of the room.

"McSteamy beat McDreamy! Ha!" Cristina grinned slightly in amusement before jealousy took over. "Wait. Meredith can't have McSteamy. That's not fair!"

"Sloane is a man whore!" George called out to no one in particular. First he sleeps with Callie, and then he goes after Meredith. George was not amused!

"I'M WAITING!" Meredith called out from the hallway.

"Right. Surgery! Let's go!" Cristina smiled again, forgetting about the love triangle that would be the center of hospital gossip for a very long time.

**A/N: This is _by far_ the shortest chapter I have written out, but it kinda stands on its own as far as the other chapters are involved. So I wanted to post it by itself. Anyways, I hope you guys liked it! Enjoy! Please Review! **

**P.S- ****I know some of you are waiting for the Addex part of the story, but it is in the next chapter! Promise!  
**


	3. So Jealous

_**Thanks for the reviews! I'm so happy that ya'll like this story! Song is So Jealous by Tegan and Sara**_

** I don't want to be part of the problem  
I try so hard to get roughed up  
Fists on up, it looks that easy  
It looks that way to me  
It looks that way to you  
But then there's you telling me I can  
Then there's you screaming say something  
I want the ocean right now  
I want the ocean right now  
I get so jealous that I can't even work  
There I am in the morning  
I don't like what I see  
I don't know how it's become such a problem  
Keep you up all night if I try to remain calm  
How can they ask why I feel so angry  
Do you see my problem if I never explain it  
But then there's you asking me how long  
Say something, it's taken me so long**

Mark stumbled into his new office just after six AM. Without even turning on the lights, he walked directly to his desk and sat down his extra large cup of cappuccino on his desk. "I'm not in the mood, Derek." For the first time since he'd entered the room, he looked at his ex best friend was sitting on his leather couch, brooding, in the same clothes he'd seen him in the night before. He returned his attention to his desk to turn on the lamp that only gave light to a small portion of his desk, just enough for him to fill out paperwork.

"You always did know." Derek folded his hands, balancing his elbows on his knees, his eyes never leaving the solo magazine on the table in front of him.

"I've known you for 25 years, Derek. What do you expect?" Derek had come to make some resemblance to peace, but Mark's tone was making it very hard for him to do that.

"I expect you to stay the hell away from the love of my life!" Derek finally met Mark's gaze, as he stood up, running his fingers through his now tangled hair.

"Which one are we talking about here?" Mark rolled his eyes as he made his way to his chair behind his desk. He really wasn't trying to be an ass, but he'd been up half the night trying to figure out what the hell was going on. He'd spent two hours at the bar with Meredith after Derek ran out, and never, not once, did he get a definite answer. He knew Derek was going to ask a million questions, but he had no answers for him. Which was going to make this unfriendly encounter last much longer than he cared for it to.

"Didn't you come here for Addison?" Derek growled as he placed both of his hands firmly on the undecorated desk, his eyes darting directly into Mark's.

"Derek, Me and Addison.. Addison and I... we aren't the same people.. she isn't.. " Mark didn't know how to speak to Derek without sounding like even more of an ass. "You know what, I'm not having this conversation with you, Derek. It's none of your damn business. You might want to leave before I infect you with some disease." Mark repeated the words he'd heard whispered over and over in the hallways. "Sorry I ruined your trip with the lack of my presence! Good to know you can still blame things on me when I'm not around! You haven't changed at all!" Mark rolled his eyes as he took the top folder from a stack, and flipped it open.

Derek was slightly taken back by how quickly his words had found Mark, but he was too angry to care. "Oh. Are you trying to suggest everything isn't your fault? Because let's face it, that's a joke in itself!" Derek scoffed.

"Yeah Derek, the fact that you worked 24 hours a day, 7 days a week had nothing to do with the falling apart of your marriage. That is what we are talking about here, right? Or are we talking about all the space you took from Meredith after your divorce that led her to reconsider your relationship? Because I have to tell you, buddy, Neither of those did I have anything to do with!"

"Do NOT talk about my relationship with Meredith, Mark! You don't know ANYTHING about it!" Derek was furious.Sure he knew that it wasn't Mark's fault exactly, but he didn't need Mark to remind him- ever. He began to pace back and forth the length of Mark's desk.

"I do know what she told me last night after you ran out of the bar like a mad man!" Mark stopped working momentarily, and looked up at his oldest friend. "Listen Derek, this circle of hate we've got going here, it's nice. Really. If I didn't have a job, I would do this all the live long day. But It's not going anywhere. I don't have the answers your looking for. That's probably because you aren't even asking the right questions. Are you mad because I like Meredith or are you mad because it's your fault that I have a chance with her?"

"YOU DO NOT HAVE A CHANCE IN HELL WITH HER!" Derek's pacing of the floor escalated to an imitation of a run before Mark stood up and grabbed hold of his arm.

"Listen to me, Derek, and you better listen good. I don't know what you want to hear, and at this very moment, with you yelling and screaming at me in MY office, I don't care. You want answers? Here's a newsflash for you- you're talking to the wrong person! I want answers too, but you don't see me walking around this hospital like a mummy yelling accusations about things you THINK you know! Now get out of my office right NOW!"

Derek sighed in defeat as Mark released his grasp on Derek's arm. Derek nodded slightly, but instead of walking towards the door, he walked back to the leather couch and sat down. "You were my family, Mark."

"You'll always be my brother, Derek. But I know you, and I know that you are never going to forgive me for what happened back in New York, and if Meredith decides to give me a chance, I don't expect you to ever speak to me again. All of my life, I have watched you go from one serious relationship to another, never stopping, not once, to give yourself time to heal from the breakups. So when you did that after the divorce I was happy for you. I really was. You probably think that I'm out to ruin your life, but I'm not. All I know is that last night, I tucked in a grown woman into her bed with all of her clothes still attached, and left right afterwards, and still felt like it was a great night. I haven't felt like that in a LONG time. I won't let you take that away from me."

Silence overwhelmingly consumed the room, with only the sound of the idle grandfather clock ticking away the seconds to decipher that time had not stood still. Finally, Derek stood up and walked slowly back towards the desk. "You tucked her in?" His eyes were pleading for some sort of sign that everything would be okay. Mark had seem that look an uncountable amount of times.

"And then left." Mark confirmed with a small smile, remembering how content she looked.

"If she does, If she decides that... If she really wants to be with you, Mark, you better take care of her. I swear I will cut open your tiny brain from your very large skull and remove every nerve that gives you any hope of reproducing life before I effectively castrate you. Are we understood?"

"Yeah." Mark nodded, staring directly into Derek's eyes.

"Goodbye Mark." Derek frowned before turning around making his way towards the door.

Just as Derek reached for the door handle, Mark called out his name, causing him to turn around.

"Remember in college, when your goldfish died?"

Derek scratched his head in confusion, but nodded none the less, wondering where this was going.

"And you called your mom practically in tears, no matter what you say, Do you remember what she told you?"

Derek shook his head no, wondering how Mark remembered, and he didn't . Not that it surprised him, Mark always took the things his mom said to heart more than Derek did.

"She said that it's normal to mourn the loss of something you cherish, but the loss would be in vein if you didn't learn something out of it that would forever affect the way you live your life."

"What's your point, Mark?"

"When I lost you, I didn't know who I was anymore. I've always been Derek's best friend, my entire life, the silly sidekick who didn't care about anything. I.. I care now."

Derek stared sadly at Mark, before nodding his head and opening the door. "I don't." he whispered before walking out of the door, closing it behind him.

**MAMD **

It was about half an hour after Derek left when Mark's pager went off, informing him he was needed for a consult for one of Addison's patients. "Excellent." he mumbled before pushing the chair back just enough from the desk to stand up. Grabbing his doctor's coat before closing the door, Mark made his way to the elevator to go to the 2nd floor, his office on the fourth. The door opened to an empty lift, causing Mark to smile slightly. He wasn't in the mood to listen to his name going round and round in the gossip mill of Seattle Grace. At least not until he'd actually done something to be gossiped about. He stepped onto it, immediately going to the back to lean against the railing. He was slightly surprised that he didn't walk in on a Meredith/Derek reunion of some sort, but happy none the less.

The doors opened on the third floor to reveal Meredith standing alone, causing his smile to broaden even more. "Morning Sleeping Beauty." he chuckled as she stepped onto the lift.

"I'm your intern for the day." Meredith tried her best to ignore the remark, but couldn't stop the small smile forming on her face.

"I knew the day had to get better at some point." he grinned as he stepped forward on the elevator, so that he was even with her as the doors closed.

Meredith's head quickly turned towards him, worry overtaking her expression. "What happened?"

"Well, I had a visitor in my office when I got to work this morning." Mark scratched his beard softly, trying to find the words to say it nicely.

"A visitor?" Meredith raised her eyebrows, thinking it was probably some girlfriend he left in New York.

"Yeah." Mark sighed, deciding not tell her. "Anyway, how's the hangover?" He grinned, trying his best to change the subject. The elevator doors opened before Meredith could respond, only for Addison and Derek to be standing there. All four froze slightly, each unsure of what to say.

"I.. I'll take the stairs." Derek mumbled before turning around and walking quickly away.

Once Derek was gone, Addison shook the odd feeling off and turned to Mark. "Mrs. Williams is waiting for you in 302."

"Thanks Addison." Mark nodded before making his way off the elevator, Meredith following behind.

"That wasn't awkward at all." Addison mumbled as she stepped onto the empty elevator to go find Karev, apparently Bailey enjoyed torturing the guy almost as much as he did.

**AA**

"Karev!" She called out his name from the exit of the elevator just as she was entering the stairwell. She couldn't hide the grin on her face as she watched him grimace before turning around and making his way to her.

"Why do you hate me so much?" He mumbled as he made his way onto the elevator that she'd held the door open for him.

"Wasn't me today. Sorry." She half smiled at him before returning to her professional demeanor. "So today isn't going to be hard as far as I can tell."

"Of course not. It's gynie squad." Alex muttered under his breath before plastering a grin on his face and nodding at her. "Great."

"Come on Karev. Do you really want to work with Sloane and fetch his coffee?" She asked only half seriously, but was happy none the less when a defeated look overtook the intern's face. "Exactly." She smiled as the door opened on the floor they needed to get off on.

"You know, you aren't as bitchy as people make you out to be." He spoke up once they reached an empty nurse's station, causing her to look up from the chart she was glancing over.

"Never underestimate the Ruler of all that is evil!" She grinned as she watched his eyes dance in amusement.

"You rule me now? I'm the Evil Spawn." He couldn't help it. Even if he did hate her 99 percent of the time, there was still that one percent that completely enthralled him. She was addicting.

Addison knew she should chastise him for the inappropriate reference, but it'd been so long she'd heard that tone in someone's voice that it was nearly impossible to. So, instead her cheeks flushed momentarily before she looked away. "Let's go check on the patient, shall we?"

"Whatever you say, Master." Alex grinned as he followed her down the hall.

**_Please Review!_**

**_ I know the Addex scene was kinda short. It was just kinda an intro to them. Much more to come!  
_ **


	4. Make Me Believe

**_Thanks for the reviews!! Song is Just Might (Make Me Believe) by Sugarland.  
_**

** I got miles of trouble spreadin' far and wide  
Bill on the table gettin' higher and higher  
They just keep on comin', theres no end in sight  
I'm just holding on tight...  
I've got someone who loves me more then words can say  
And I'm thankful for that each and every day  
And if I count all my blessings, I get a smile on my face  
Still hard to find faith..**

**But if you look in my eyes  
And tell me we'll be alright  
If you promise never to leave You just might make me believe**

**Its just day to day tryin' to make ends meet  
What id give for an address on easy street  
I need a deep margarita to help me unwind  
Leave my troubles behind...**

**I used to believe in use  
When times got tough  
Lately I'm afraid that even love is not enough**

**But if you can look in my eyes  
And tell me we'll be alright  
If you promise never to leave you just might make  
Oh, you just might make me  
You just might make me believe**

**  
**

It was only about ten minutes before Meredith followed Mark out of the patient's room to the nearest nurse's station, that just so happened to be deserted at the moment. Her eyes darted sporadically between him and a cup full of pens sitting within eyesight of where she was standing, trying to decide whether or not she really wanted to discuss what may or may not had happened the night before at the bar, or even worse, her home. Sure they didn't sleep together, but still leaves a lot of unanswered questions, and time unaccounted for. She watched him as he flipped open the chart to a desired page, making the necessary marks, and sloppily signing the bottom of it before flipping it back closed, and placing it on the counter below.

"Mark.." Meredith sighed, knowing there was no way that even she could avoid this for forever.

"Take your time, Grey. I know what'd you'd be giving up. I'll wait, under one condition." Mark turned towards her, leaning one arm against the counter, the other scratching nervously underneath his chin.

"Condition?" Meredith quirked an eyebrow, certain that whatever he was going to say was going to be dirty. He always had dirty in his eyes, even if it was just playful. She was surprised when she didn't see it this time.

"Don't drag me a long for a hell ride for a Derek reunion. Don't keep me around if you don't like me. If you want to be with Derek, that's fine. I just, I want you to remember that there's a reason you didn't follow him out of that bar last night. Okay?"

Meredith simply nodded, actually relieved at the bluntness. "Just give me a few days, okay?" A smirk appeared on his face as he nodded in agreement, yet there was a hint of sadness in it that made Meredith not quite willing to accept it at face value. "What?"

"Addison said the same thing." he frowned before looking around to find a deserted hallway. Leaning in to give her a quick kiss on the cheek, he walked off towards the elevator. "By the way, I need you to check on my patients on the fifth floor. Great!" he yelled, not once turning around to make sure she heard him before walking onto the elevator that a nurse had held for him when she saw him coming.

"Great!" Meredith mumbled before walking the opposite way towards the stairs, already knowing that he was probably not going to make it easy on her.

**MDMD **

It was lunchtime before Meredith was done checking on all of Mark's patients, as well as answering several pages from Bailey. She was tired, and slightly ill when she reached the elevator to make her way downstairs to the cafeteria. The doors opened, and once again revealed Derek. It'd happened several times since the first encounter of the morning, and one of them had always walked away. But this time, Meredith was too tired to take the stairs, and apparently so was he, as he didn't leave when she entered. Standing on opposite sides of the elevators, leaning into the corners, the two remained silent. Both equally aware that this could possibly be the longest elevator ride in history, of their rides anyway. Finally, Derek sighed and pushed the stop button on the elevator.

"Meredith.." Derek turned towards her, walking slowly in her direction, only only centimeters from her, inevitably inside her personal bubble of space.

"Yeah?" her voice was shaky, not quite sure what to expect, or do in this situation. By no means was she with Mark, but at the same time, she couldn't stop him from running through her mind, making her feel slightly guilty for the lack of space between her and Derek. She moved slightly to the left to remove herself from the corner he'd pinned her in, before meeting his gaze again.

"I.. I'm sorry." he bowed his head in defeat before stepping back, away from her.

"For what?" Meredith was not following his train of thought at all. If anything, she thought she should apologize to him. She knew she owed him an explanation the night before, but it wasn't something she was quite willing to accept yet. She hadn't quite wrapped her brain around how she didn't walk out of the bar after Derek yet, so she couldn't explain it to him.

"All sorts of things." he leaned in and kissed her on the lips softly before backing away, and placing his hand on the button to restart the elevator.

"Derek.." Meredith stammered slightly. "I.. I'm not with Mark."

Derek smiled sadly at her, replaying the conversation he'd had with Mark that morning. "Not yet. But, maybe you should be. I.. I don't want to be in a relationship if you're not 100 percent sure that you want to be with me."

Meredith's eyes darted to the floor, tears brimming them. Partially because she knew he was right, and partly because she wish he wasn't. "I.. I wanted to be with you for so long, Derek. You know? But every time I thought things were getting better, they didn't. I guess somewhere along the way I lost hope in us. And then Mark.." Meredith sighed, not sure whether or not she could continue.

"Was like a breath of fresh air?" Derek smiled softly at her, finally starting to understand what'd happened.

Meredith exhaled deeply, and smiled at him. "Yeah."

Derek finally pushed the button again to start the elevator, a small smile playing on his features. The doors finally opened as he took one last look her way. "You'll always be my breath of fresh air, Meredith." With that, he lowered his head and walked off the elevator, leaving Meredith alone to wipe away her tears before making her way to the lunch table.

**_Feel free to let me know what you think!_ **


	5. Liar Liar 1

_**Okay, so this chapter ended up being really long, so I cut it into two, this is part 1! Enjoy! Song used is Liar, Liar by Alexz Johnson I know this is set up (the song) different than previous chapters. It depends on when I find the song I want, before or after I write. I hope it doesn't bug anyone)  
**_

**_P.S Thanks sooo much for the reviews, guys:D_ **

Addison heard him enter the on call room, but didn't bother to make her presence known. There was a reason that she was laying on the top bunk. She didn't want to be disturbed. She had an hour before she was off the clock, and just wanted to lay there and not talk to anyone. She'd heard the rumors probably more than anyone else, and she also saw them more than anyone else due to the consult that ended up requiring his presence most of the day. He probably begged for her as his intern, she rolled her eyes as he shut the door roughly, assuming that no one else was in the room.

He turned around, leaning his back on the door letting out a sigh, she wasn't sure why. She tried holding her breath so that she wouldn't be noticed, but quickly gave that up when she realized that he wasn't going to leave just because he thought the room was empty. He wasn't looking for her, which made her strangely sad. Even though she didn't show it, she was excited when he showed up, she'd missed him. She thought, if nothing else, she was going to get her friend back. But she didn't. Unfortunately, when she exhaled, it came out louder than she expected, grabbing his attention.

"Addi?" he stepped up on the ladder, revealing her scrunched up, guilty-filled face, causing a small chuckle to escape his grinning lips. "What are you doing up here?" his eyes glanced around the room to make sure the four bottom bunk beds were, in fact, all empty.

**You said I was your everything  
You said I was the one  
You played me like a radio  
You used the love that I had no shame  
Put my pain into words  
Hold my hand to the flame**

"Hiding." she grinned, the embarrassment made clear in the rosiness of her cheeks. She was also fidgeting with her fingers, but he couldn't see that. Not that that stopped him from knowing she was.

"Stop fidgeting Addi. It's me!" He laughed before stepping off the ladder, and laying down on the bed below her.

For a moment, she considered getting down and laying with him, until Meredith reappeared in her thoughts, causing her to sigh and roll towards the end of the bed so she could peek down at him. "So you've been headline news around here." She tried to smile, but failed miserably, and judging by the glare she received, it wasn't the smartest thing to say to him.

"Not you too." he muttered rubbing the balls of his palms deep into his eyes, causing her to feel guilty for bringing it up. She didn't know what was going on, and she should know better than anyone not to listen to the gossip at the hospital, it was just so tempting. After briefly rethinking her options, she jumped off the bunk bed causing a rather loud thud on the ground.

"Stop laughing!" she firmly placed her hands on her hips, tapping her toes to an imaginary song in her head, as she watched his body jiggle from chuckling. She was trying her best not to laugh herself, but it was hard when he was. Finally surrendering to temptation, she let herself laugh before making a spot for herself on his bed by his feet. "Talk to me, Sloane." The last thing she needed was to hear about his new found affection for the infamous intern, but she also knew what it was like not have anyone on your side. It didn't feel good. She could feel his eyes on her long before she gathered the nerve to look his way to find an eyebrow quirked in confusion. "What?" she giggled softly, finally remembering what life was like between them before everything got so complicated. Not that things were ever easy, but they seemed simple when they were together. "Come on Mark, we're friends!" she nodded her head, trying to convince him, as well as herself.

"I.. I don't know, Addi." Mark sat up, placing his feet on the tile floor beside her socked pair. "Wouldn't it be weird? With us.. and them." Mark scratched the back of his neck, debating just how bad of an idea it was. He really did want to talk to someone about it, and he knew he'd forfeited every right to try to talk to Derek.

"Come on, Mark. Before we turned our lives upside down, you were my best friend. You best not EVER tell Savvy that. I miss you. Please? You used to tell me TOO much!"

His infamous smirk appeared as he looked her way. "You miss me, huh?"

"You want my expert advice or not?" she smirked, completely avoiding the question, not wanting to swell his head more than she'd already done.

"Not until you admit it." he laughed, finding comfort in the familiarity of their banter. He hadn't been on familiar territory in a long time.

"Fine! I missed you. Now spill, Sloane!" she nudged his shoulder playfully, momentarily forgetting about what she was forcing herself to listen to.

"I don't know what I'm doing, Addi. I feel like I'm on the edge of a cliff, and she's going to just push me off of it any second now, I just know it." He looked at her, waiting for words that would make him feel better, but Addison was too shocked to talk. Mark was only metaphorical when it came to sex. Not feelings. She was thrown off, but attempted to shake off the surprise, along with the hurt. Hellbent on remaining on platonic ground, she nodded her head, suggesting that he continue.

"I mean I really care about her, Addi. I haven't cared about anyone since.. " His voice trailed off, not quite willing to admit how bad he'd been hurt when she followed in Derek's footsteps, and left him in New York without so much as a word.

"Yeah." Addison sighed, loosing all footing of the platonic ground she was so desperately trying to hold onto.

"Am I really not worth it to anyone? Is he that much better than me, really?" His voice cracked, causing Addison's eyes to tear up.

"I.. I'm sorry, Mark. I'm sorry I just left. I was just.. I was hurt, and I didn't know what to do." It was so rare for Mark to show emotion, real emotion, she didn't quite know how to handle it. She didn't want to fight with him, but she was hurt too.

"So, you run to Derek?" he snapped back, immediately sending her an apologetic gaze. He didn't mean to, but some things never quite heal.

"I should go." she nods to herself as her eyes fell onto her the floor, looking around for her shoes. Finally spotting them on the other side of Mark.

"Addi. Wait." The last thing Mark wanted to do was ruin what little glimpse of normal he'd gained back in his life. "Please don't go. We don't have to talk about any of that. Please?"

"I.. I'm sorry." she wiped away a stray tear, knowing that it would be quickly replaced by another, before grabbing the shoes, and running out of the room without even bothering to put them on.

**Tell me you love me like a star  
Tell me you want me wherever you are  
Tell me you breathe me till your last breath  
Liar liar  
Oh, liar liar**

Addison was in such a hurry to get to another room, that was empty, that she barely even registered the impact when she ran smack dab into Alex, dropping her shoes. She mumbled a small apology as she bent down for her shoes, before running away again. This time she could hear faint steps following her, making her wanting to go even faster. The last thing she needed was someone else to see her fall apart, especially Alex. He'd probably mock her until one of them left Seattle.

"Dr. Montgomery!" she heard him call her name, but she refused to stop since she was only several feet from a supply closet, but by the time she got it opened, he'd caught up with her. She cursed her slippery socks as she slid down the back wall, sinking her face into between her knees, that'd been brought up tightly against her chest.

"Just go away, Karev!" she sniffed , daring herself to look at him, revealing her black tear stained face, the remainder of what is left of her perfectly done eyeliner and mascara.

"I.. I can't do that." He sighed, almost wishing that he could. He'd, somehow, formed a soft spot for the redhead attending, and he knew if she was crying, something bad had happened. She never cried. Not even when her divorce was final.

That surprised her more than anything, causing her to quirk an eyebrow in his direction."Why not, exactly?"

"Because you're upset, Addison!" he quipped back, sliding down the wall beside her.

Finally finding comfort in his presence, she nodded her head, and leaned into his shoulder. If he was going to stick around, she was going to get as much out of it as she could. "Thanks." She whispered meekly as she felt his arm wrap around her waist, resting gently on her hip.

"So, are you going to tell me what's wrong or am I going to have to guess? Because I've got tell you, guessing has never been my forte. But I get off in 10 minutes, so I've got all night." She let out a small laugh at his remark before she shook her head.

"I don't want to talk about it." she sighed, snuggling even closer into his embrace.

"Quiet game has never been my..."

"Alex!" she cut him off with a laugh. "Drop it!" She wasn't quite sure why he was being so nice to her, but she was not going to send him away.

"Sorry." he grinned, resting his chin on the top of her head. "You're not crying anymore, though."

**Bit by bit I feel the drought  
Just sit back and watch it bump  
Hold your eyes up to my veins  
Call out call my name**

She smiled as she ran her fingers underneath her eyes, hopefully to wipe away the smeared makeup, but not counting on it. "You're right." she lifted her head to smile at him. Her eyes landing on his lips, causing him to lick them quickly, softly biting on his lower lip, not sure what was happening.

Quickly jolting out of her inappropriate thoughts of her intern, Addison jumped up, brushing herself off before leaning over to put on her shoes.

"Thanks." she mumbled, slightly embarrassed about the thoughts that'd run through her mind.

Alex scratched his head, clearly confused. Surely he didn't COMPLETELY misinterpret everything that'd just happened! Shaking off the thoughts, he stood up as well, slightly adjusting the lining of his scrubs on his waist. "Yeah." he muttered.

Addison had made it to the door before she turned back around to face Alex. "Do you want to get a drink?" Addison generally wasn't forward with guys, but she was certain that after her previous throw off, that Alex probably wouldn't ever talk to her again, at least unprofessionally.

A small smirk appeared on Alex's face as he nodded his head. "Sure. Half hour?"

"Great. See ya later, Karev." Addison winked before opening the door, but closed it instantly, and walked back over to Alex, pushing him somewhat roughly against the wall, pulling on his neck to bring his lips to hers. It was a short kiss, but confirmed her notions. "Yeah. Half hour." she smiled before turning around and walking out the door, leaving Alex slightly stunned.

_**Let me know your thoughts! **_


	6. Liar Liar 2

**_Part 2! Enjoy! Thanks for the reviews!_  
**

**Tell me you love me like a star  
Tell me you want me wherever you are  
Tell me you breathe me till your last breath  
Liar liar  
Oh, liar liar  
Liar liar  
Oh, liar liar**

It'd been ten minutes since Addison abandoned Mark in the on call room, and Mark still hadn't been able to lay still for longer than twenty seconds. He kept replaying the conversation over and over in his head, trying to figure out what he could have done differently to get a different, a better, result. He finally decided that it was just too soon for that conversation, and closed his eyes once again, debating on whether or not he really even wanted to go to his hotel room that night. Either way, he'd be alone. He could go to Joe's, but he'd probably just run into Meredith or Derek, or even worse them together. He didn't think he could stomach it all in one day. So instead, he decided on staying on that bed, despite the fact that it wasn't even half as comfortable, possibly not even a quarter, as the one in his hotel room, at least in the on-call room, he could guarantee that he wouldn't run into them. His stomach rolled with nausea as he thought momentarily of how wrong that statement could be, but he quickly shook it off, replacing it with the smallest glimpse of hope he held for himself with Meredith.

He was pulled from his thoughts by a soft knock on the door. "Find another room!" Mark muttered, rolling onto his stomach, burying his face into the puffy pillow.

"Mark?" Her voice sent his body straight up, hitting his head on the bunk above him as he stood up.

"Ow!" he muttered, his hand flying quickly to the impacted region of his head. His first thought being that Derek would refuse to do surgery on him if needed.

"Mark? Are you in there?" He was brought out of his thought again by her voice as he sat back down on the bed, his hand still massaging the slightly swollen area.

"Um. Yeah," he called out, forcing himself to withdraw his hand, as to not look like a baby about a little bump.

Meredith peeked her head in to make sure he was alone before opening the door further so she could enter, and closing it behind her.

"Hi." she smiled shyly at him before making her way further into the room, taking a seat next to him on the bed.

"You alright?" He echoed the same words from the night before, hoping to get a different answer. After all, she did find him!

"I.. I'm getting there." She smiled at him, this time the smile even making it to her eyes. "Today's been a weird day."

"Ha! Yeah. That's an understatement, Grey." Mark chuckled, his hand finding its way back to his head, despite all of his will power not to.

"You okay?" Meredith raised an eyebrow at his gentle massaging of his head.

"Huh? Oh. I, erm, well I sort of hit my head." He could see the concern in her eyes, which actually made the pain die down a little, at least for the moment.

"Maybe you should get that checked out?" Meredith removed his hand to check it out herself.

"I've got to start meeting normal people, who aren't doctors!" Mark laughed, but did not withdraw from her inspection.

"Eh. Like you'd have time!" she laughed at him with a shake of her head. "I think it's okay. But if it still hurts tomorrow, you promise you will let me check it?"

"Yes ma'am!" Mark rolled his eyes before grinning. "Or you could just make it all better now."

"Dirty!" Meredith laughed as she made herself more comfortable on the bed.

"Not that I'm complaining at all, Grey. But what exactly are you doing here?"

"Do you want to get a drink with me?" she bit her lower lip anxiously. Trying to figure out just what she got herself into. She came just to make sure he was okay, but then she saw him.

Mark quirked his eyebrow in amusement as he turned to face her more directly. "A drink or more than a drink?"

"I knew you would say that." she laughed.

"Yet you don't have an answer!" He grinned.

"How about just a drink.. with possibilities?"

"I like possibilities." he smirked, thinking that maybe the night wouldn't be so bad after all.

"I bet you do." she laughed before standing up and walking towards the door. "Meet me in the lobby?" she turned around quickly.

"Great." Mark smiled before following suit, heading to his office to change clothes.

**Tell me you love me like a star  
Tell me you want me wherever you are  
Tell me you breathe me till your last breath  
Liar liar  
Oh, Liar Liar**

For the second time that day, Mark had a visitor waiting for him in his office. Except this time, the visitor was a female intern that he had no intention of sleeping with. Then again, he didn't have the intention of sleeping with a lot of people. it just happened. Either way, he was slightly confused as to why she was in his office.

"Dr. Yang? Is there a reason you're sitting on my couch? In the dark? When I'm not here?" Mark flipped on the light to reveal her staring at the cover of a medical magazine, but obviously not really absorbing any of its contents. When he got no response, he took off his doctor's coat, and sat down at his desk. "Is there something I can do you Dr. Yang? I kind of have somewhere to be." He folded his hands on his desk, losing his patience more and more every moment her silence continued.

Finally, after several moments, Cristina stood up, and walked over to his desk, placing her palms against the edges as she leaned in. "Yeah. You're going to Joe's with Grey. I know. That's why I'm here. You haven't been here long, so I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt and assume you are a dumb ass and don't know the things I'm about to tell you. So are you listening? Good." Cristina's features did not soften, or harden, as she stood there, which made Mark grin slightly. Whatever she had to say, she obviously wasn't joking.

"I'm not seven, Yang. I know that Grey is like your best friend or whatever. I get it. You don't want me to hurt her. I get it. But want to know a secret? I'm pretty sure.. actually I'm certain that Meredith, your best friend, is NOT going to be the one that will most likely get screwed over in this situation. Because I'm pretty sure, I am. Want to know something else? I don't have a best friend. Want to know why? Because at one point in my freaking life, I fell in love with his wife, who by the way, never stopped loving him. So want to know a secret, Yang? I, I don't get the girl. It just doesn't happen for me. But from what I can tell, Meredith is giving me a shot. I'm going to take it, and if I get screwed over, then that's not anyone's problem but my own. So, if that's all you have to say, now would be an excellent time for you to show yourself out!" Still, Cristina did not budge. If anything her stare intensified, but it was apparent to Mark that she was not going anywhere anytime soon. "Fine! Don't want to leave? I will change, and you can just stare at my chair. Apparently you find it very fascinating, because I've already told you, this conversation, or lack there of, is finished."

"If you think you're going to fail, why try?" Cristina turned around in her spot to find Mark's new location in the room.

"Because sometimes you just got to enjoy the ride, regardless of the outcome." Mark sighed, tired of thinking about the consequences of these drinks.

"Nobody wants to be a loser!" Cristina placed a hand on her hip, thrown off completely from the original reason of coming. "You are McSteamy. You are a world class plastic surgeon. You do not lose!"

Mark pulled his shirt over his head and laughed slightly at the nickname. "Can I ask you something?"

"Uh.. Sure." Cristina's voice cracked slightly, still trying to figure out how she lost the upper hand. Predictable was never one of her attributes, was it? Okay maybe a little, but he didn't even know her!

"Do you want Meredith with Derek? Is this what this is about? You've come in Derek's defense? Because I gotta tell you, I don't think you are really that great of a friend if you do. Derek was my best friend for a long time, and he can be a good guy. He really can. But sometimes, you just have to cut your losses. Sometimes what you think is meant to be, isn't always as it seems. Sometimes the grass truly is greener on the other side. From what I've heard, he's screwed her over countless times. Why would you want her with him? Do you enjoy picking up her pieces?"

Silence filled the room except the ruffling sound of Mark's clothes being changed. Finally Cristina looked away towards the door. "Just.. just be careful." she sighed before making her way to the door.

"Dr. Yang?" Mark called out right as her hand made it's way to the door, causing her to turn around. "How about we keep this conversation to ourselves, alright?"

Cristina let out a small laugh, but nodded none the less, before opening the door and leaving.

"That went well." Mark smiled before grabbing his keys from his desk drawer, obviously pleased with the visit, before making his way to the door as well.

**_Ok, there's part two! Hope you guys liked it! _  
**


	7. I Can Love You Better

_**Thanks soooo much for the reviews:D Song used is I Can Love You Better by Dixie Chicks **_

**She's got you wrapped up in her satin and lace.  
Tied around her little finger.  
She's got you thinkin' you can never escape.  
Don't you know your heart's in danger.  
There's a devil in that angel face.  
If you could only see the love that you're wastin'**

Mark had been sitting in the lobby for ten minutes when Addison walked by, quickly followed by Alex. He quirked his eyebrow at Addison, but she refused to meet his gaze, so he shrugged it off. Laughing softly to himself, this group of interns knew how to get ahead. He'd flipped through every magazine on the nearby table, even the celebrity gossip ones, and had yet to find an article he cared to read. Not that he really liked to read, but it did pass the time. Finally surrendering to an article about a woman's whose life was changed by just simply watching a movie on the lifetime channel, Mark hung his shoulders, and started reading.

Right near the end of the article, he heard a soft giggling come from right in front of him. "Lifetime, huh? Never pictured you as one of those." Meredith giggled as she readjusted the straps of her purse on her shoulder.

"Huh? Oh! No. I was just trying to pass.. never mind." Mark sighed with a small chuckle as he stood up from his seat. "You don't look too bad, Grey." Mark grinned as he took in her appearance. She was wearing a pair of jeans, with a black v-neck sweater that hung to her curves perfectly.

"Wish I could say the same about you." She quipped back with a growing grin plastered on her face.

"Yeah. See who won't be paying for your drinks tonight!" He laughed as he placed his hand on her lower back to lead her outside. Out of the corner of his eye, he spotted Derek looking on with a saddened expression on his face, and his hand quickly fell back to his side. Taking a step away from her. Sure, he wasn't friends with Derek anymore, but no one needed something like this rubbed in their face. He noticed Meredith's questioning glance, which almost made him replace his hand, but decided against it. "Just a drink, right?" He smiled at her knowingly, trying to say the words that wouldn't form.

"With possibilities." She smiled as she continued her way out the door. Mark turned back around and gave a small nod to Derek, who returned the nod before turning around, and making his way to the elevator. Luckily for him, he was on call all night.

**I can love you better that that.  
I know how to make you forget her.  
All I'm askin' is for one little chance.  
Cause baby I can love you, baby I can love you better**

Addison was already on her fourth shot of, well she couldn't quite remember what she ordered, but she knew it was doing it's job, when Mark entered following Meredith. Each of them had a smile plastered shamelessly on their face, causing her stomach to churn violently.

"Maybe you should slow down a little bit." Alex offered. He wasn't usually one to stop his guest from slamming them down, but he wasn't even sure she'd be leaving with him, so instead he was taking the friend route. The road less traveled in his case.

"Nu uh." Addison shook her head in defiance as she waved Joe down for another shot. For the first time since Mark entered, she looked at Alex, who was still on his first beer. "Why aren't you joining the party, Karev?"

Alex gazed around the practically deserted bar before returning his attention to the redhead. "There's no party here, Addison. Just yours. I don't do pity parties."

Addison glared at him for a moment before pushing away the empty shot glass, waving off a refill, and returned her attention to Alex. "What do you suggest, Karev?" She was drunk, and she knew it. But she didn't care. If Mark wanted to sleep with an intern, why couldn't she? She had an ongoing bet in her mind how long it would take Meredith to go after Alex after tonight. She'd decided half an hour ago it would be a month. Give or take a few weeks. Then again, she was drunk, so that could change at any moment.

Just as Alex was going to respond, the bell rang once again, this time Izzie, Callie, and George walked in. Izzie instantly giving him an odd glance for his guest before giving a small smile anyway, accompanied with a wave.

Addison watched the exchange with amusement. If she was sober, she probably could have easily let it go without a word, but Alex just wasn't that lucky that night.

"Still got it bad for Stevens, I see." Addison slurred, trying to fight the urge to drink another shot.

"Wh.. What?!" Alex's head quickly snapped back in her direction, looking like a deer caught by the headlights of an 18 wheeler.

**I'm gonna break this spell she's got on you.  
You're gonna wake up to find.  
You're my desire my intentions are true  
Hey babe I know it's time.  
You're gonna see what you mean to me.  
So open up your eyes cause seein' is believin'.**

Mark and Meredith easily made their way through the empty bar to a booth in the back corner, hopefully to avoid any more gossip that was already inevitable.

"So I had another visitor today." Mark grinned as he got comfortable in his seat, debating whether or not it was warm enough in the bar to take off his jacket.

"Oh?" Meredith played along, biting the bait.

"Yeah. I think it went well, though." He let out a soft chuckle, recalling how he'd completely taken charge of the conversation. Despite revealing more personal details than he would have cared to, he was proud of himself. He'd heard about Cristina's streaks, and he wasn't very willing to be caught in the fire of them.

"Can I ask who this visitor was?" Meredith leaned forward slightly, enticing him to tell her, with a smirk on her face.

"Yes. You could ask anything you'd like." He mimicked her movements, folding his arms across his chest in the process. Finding himself in a very similar position to the night before.

"Ha. You think you're funny. How sad." She giggled, moving a strand of hair that'd fallen into her face from her view.

"Oh. I am, Grey. You see, If I didn't love scalpels so much, my therapist suggested stand up comedy."

"You're therapist? The one that called you self-loathing? Because I don't think she's ever actually listened to you talk."

"Hey! I'm 97 percent certain that I should be offended by that!"

"And I'm even more certain than you are."

"I'll have you know, Stacy is an excellent therapist."

"Oh! Stacy! Now I get it. You're paying her for sex. Mark, I don't know if you know this, but that is prostitution, no matter how nice the couch might be."

"I didn't sleep with her!" Mark insisted, a small smile forming on his lips. "Atleast not in the office."

Meredith shook her head, not in the least surprised at the confession. "You're avoiding my question."

"What was that again?" Mark grinned, getting more and more comfortable with the idea of their possibilities.

"Who was your visitor?"

"you're person."

"Cristina came to see you?" Meredith's eyes bulged, already terrified of the thought, much less the reality.

**I can love you better than that.  
I can love you better.**

"Come on Karev. We aren't on a date. You can tell me." She giggled, trying her best to ignore the fact that it was Mark who'd driven her right into Alex's embrace. Not that she was complaining.

"I don't!" he insisted refusing to look over at Izzie again to avoid being caught again. There were some things that people didn't need to know about, and his thing for Izzie Stevens was definitely one of them.

"Of course not." She smirked before taking another shot. "Don't worry. You're still going to get laid." Her bluntness threw him off slightly. Had the question crossed his mind? Of course. But damn.

Alex stumbled on several words before he gave up trying. Of course, Addison watched on in complete amusement. "Don't act so shocked, Karev. Isn't that why you came?"

"Well.." Alex scratched the back of his head nervously. "I don't know. Just thought you could use a friend."

"Right. Because we've always been such good friends, Karev." She grinned, knowing that she'd won.

"Fine." He smirked, despite his defeat in the argument, he'd pretty much won.

"So, you ready to go?" Addison reached for her purse to pay the tab, but was stopped by Alex's hand.

"Rule 1. Chicks don't pay for their drinks. 2. The night is just beginning. I'm sober. So no." Truthfully, he just wasn't sure he could leave with Addison with Izzie, and the rest of the interns there. Tomorrow would be 1000 questions for Alex day.

Addison willingly accepted the rules, if he wanted to pay for all the alcohol she had, and apparently would, consume. She wasn't going to stop him. "Fine. But I suggest you start with something heavy, because you have a lottttttt of catching up to do."

**All I'm askin' is for one little chance.  
Cause baby I can love you, baby I can love you.**

_Meredith shook her head, not in the least surprised at the confession. "You're avoiding my question."_

_"What was that again?" Mark grinned, getting more and more comfortable with the idea of their possibilities._

_"Who was your visitor?"_

_"you're person."_

_"Cristina came to see you?" Meredith's eyes bulged, already terrified of the thought, much less the reality._

"Yep." Mark grinned, letting her mind wonder all the possibilities of that meeting before he gave her any details.

"Well, you're still here." Meredith grinned. "That says something. Cristina can be a little hard to handle."

"It wasn't bad. She's um.. she's a good friend." Mark nodded in agreement.

"She's my person." Meredith smiled softly as she looked down at the empty table. "So are we going to sit here all night sipping imaginary drinks or are you actually going to spend some money on me, and buy a bottle of tequila?"

Mark grinned as he rubbed his chin in fake-contemplation. "I don't know, Grey. You sure you can handle a whole bottle?"

"Oh, trust me. I have years of experience." She giggled learning further onto the table so she could lower her voice. "Tequila is my specialty."

"Well how can I refuse you your specialty?" He laughed as he reached into his back pocket for his wallet.

"My point exactly! So glad we see eye to eye."

"That would be a tragedy. I mean. Without tequila, you might possibly realize that you're breaking your first rule."

"My first rule?" She grinned, slightly uncertain about where this was now going.

"Yep. First day I met you, you told me that you made a point not to date co-workers. I would be pretty screwed."

"But this isn't a date, remember. We're friends." She giggled as she sat back against the booth.

"Oh, but the possibilities we keep mentioning, they edge it just a little closer to a date. Don't ya think?"

"You know, You might be right. I would suggest you go buy that bottle now before I come to my senses."

"Fine fine. I guess I could buy your drinks." He laughed before finally scooting out of the booth to make his way to the bar.

**Let me know! **


	8. In Between

_**Thanks for the reviews! The next couple of chapters (most likely three of them) are all going to be to the song In Between by James Barnes. Scenes were much longer than I expected. Enjoy!**_

It'd been two weeks since their drink with possibilities, and it was also the last time the two had hung out in public. The hospital rumor mill was completely maxed out on gossip of just them the next day, enough to make their head spin. So since then, they'd mostly stuck to his hotel room, well now his apartment. He'd even bought a bedroom set from Rooms To Go, Meredith's orders. The rest of his stuff, he had moved from New York. There were just some things, no matter how old they were, made his home his, and he wasn't willing to change them. They hadn't spoken again about their relationship, therefore they had no answers for the people that asked, well the few people that they would consider giving a real answer too. Neither were pushing it, and it was working for them. At first they wouldn't even talk at the hospital, but now they would occasionally have a small chat at a nurse's desk, or more regularly, get a coffee and muffin together before they started the day. Nothing too lenient one way or another as to what they "were." It wasn't anyone else's business.

**I said don't you ever leave me lonely baby  
You didn't know what to say  
Now you got me worried bout the future baby  
Doubt I see upon your face**

"Good morning, Dr. Grey." Mark grinned as he walked up to her, he'd just seen her an hour ago, but no one knew that. She'd crashed at his place the night before after watching a very long movie. He thought it was a great idea until she informed him that he was sleeping on the couch that he "loved too much to let go", and that maybe next time he would take her advice. He had to wake her up at three just so that she could call a cab to go home and get some clothes. He'd almost told her to just bring clothes next time, but he thought better of it. Not in anyway was he suggesting her to move in, and he wasn't willing to take a chance of that misunderstanding.

Meredith smiled to herself before she turned around to meet his gaze, leaning her back against the railing. "Dr. Sloane. Funny seeing you here. Have a good night sleep?" She grinned recalling sleeping very peacefully in his nice feather bed that she'd picked out for him herself.

"Excellent." He plastered a fake smile on his face as he bent his back in a distinct way to pop it into place. He loved that couch dearly, but he'd never actually slept on it before, and he was now determined to never do it again. At least that's what he was going to tell himself until the next time she made the same demand.

"Good to hear." She giggled as she handed him a cappuccino she'd already bought for him a long with two of the three sugars in her hands.

Mark's eyes lit up as he saw the sugars, but quickly faded as she withheld the third one from his reach. "Meredith!" he whined slightly as he took a step closer to her. "You know I have to have three sugars."

"I know that, Sloane." She grinned as she opened the top on her coffee, followed by tearing open the third package of sugar. "I know because I like mine the same way, but you see we have a small problem." She smirked as she met his gaze once again, almost making her want to hand him the sugar. He was just too adorable sometimes. It wasn't healthy. She was sure of that!

"And what's that?" His pout turned into a very small grin as he watched her eyes dance in obvious amusement.

"Only five sugars left." She frowned as she dangled the opened package above her coffee.

"But Meredith!" He whined as he leaned in closer so that no one would hear their conversation. "I already let you have my bed. You can't take my sugar too. Without that single sugar, I'm not the overly pleasant and entertaining guy that you love to spend time with so much."

Amazing, she thought, even when he was pleading, he was still cocky. It was unbelievable, and she couldn't help but laugh as she watched the cockiness fall from his face only moments later, replaced with defeat. "Fine Grey. Have it your way. Have your perfect cup of coffee while I go try to cut open someone's face. Thanks." He muttered as he turned away, mostly so he could hide the grin that was ever-so present on his face.

Meredith grinned for a few moments until he turned back around to find that she still hadn't poured the sugar into her cup. "You're going to make me watch it too? Someone needs that sugar more than I do!" He chuckled as he received an instant glare from her before she tossed the full package of sugar into the trashcan. His eyes bulged in astonishment. "WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT, MEREDITH SUZANNE GREY!" He nearly cried as he looked into the trashcan that was now littered with HIS sugar!

"Eh. We can be unsweet together." She giggled as she intertwined her arm with his, walking away with him in toe. Ignoring the various looks from their coworkers, the two continued to walk in bliss until they got to another private part of the hospital, when Mark stopped them in their tracks.

**Sometimes yeah we move just like a freight train  
And sometimes we don't even move  
Somehow we're stuck around the circle  
Where you wait on me  
I wait on you**

"P.S Grey. You are never unsweet. And neither am I for that matter, not when I'm with you. "You're my last needed dose of sugar." He grinned before continuing walking down the hallway, leaving Meredith standing still with a big smile on her face, before she ran and caught up with him.

"That's not fair, you know." She held onto his forearm, not enough to stop him, just enough to keep with his strides, the smile never fading.

"I don't know what you're talking about, Grey." Mark grinned as he made his way to the elevator that was opened for once, and currently empty.

"You can't say things like that to friends! It's not fair." She squealed slightly as she jumped into the elevator just as the doors were closing.

"Eh. We're good friends." He chuckled before leaning close to her ear. "Only my special friends get to hear those things."

"Oh?" She blushed slightly before gathering the courage to continue. "And how many of these friends do you have, exactly?"

The chime echoed throughout the elevator, indicating that the door was going to open on the next floor as he leaned back towards her, this time his soft lips literally touching her ear as he whispered. "Just you."

**Well love ain't got to be something complicated  
It can be as easy as it seems  
So tell me if we're hot or cold baby  
Just save me from the in between**

Once again, Meredith ended up at Mark's that night. She hadn't actually been invited, and as she reached his door, she was starting to worry that this was a bad idea. Who's to say he was even home, or even worse, who's to say he's alone? Just as she'd turned around to head back for the elevator, the door opened revealing Mark's wet body in a towel.

"Meredith?" He called out to her retreating form, causing her to turn back around with rosy cheeks. "What are you doing here? Did we have plans?"

"Hi." she blushed as she shook her head. "No. We didn't. I came to surprise you, but then once I got here, I realized how awkward that could be. So I decided to leave, but apparently you heard me." She tried to laugh it off, but the embarrassment was stubborn to leave.

"Actually, you're scaring the neighbors, babe." He laughed, recalling having to jump out of the shower to answer his phone, thinking it might have been the hospital, only for it to be Mr. Deevman from across the hall, informing him that a petite blond had been standing in front of his door for a good twenty minutes. He was actually thankful it was Meredith, and not someone with the wrong address. That could have been awkward, with him answering in a towel and everything.

Meredith followed his gaze to find an elder man peek out of his doorway and offer her a shy smile. "Sorry about that ma'am." He nodded towards her before grinning at Mark. She tried to hold in her laughter at the short man's appearance, he was only wearing a wife beater, that barely covered his rather plump stomach, with a pair of plaid pajama pants that dragged the floor, but for some reason he had suspenders on. It was an odd sight to say the least.

"It's okay." She nodded as she watched him disappear back into his apartment before returning her attention to Mark.

"Well I was in the shower, but you can come in if you want." He grinned, trying to hold his tongue with the hundreds of remarks he could make at the moment. He decided that he had all night for those. He didn't want her to leave.

"You sure? If you're busy or something, I can go. Really."

Mark chuckled, shaking his head at her. "Get you're ass in here before I freeze!" He opened his door wider as he stepped back inside. The hallways cool draft of air finally becoming too much for him to bare after being in such a hot shower, which he was ready to return to.

"Well, if you insist." She smiled as she made her way into the already familiar apartment.

"Make yourself at home." He laughed as he extended his arm down the short hallway. "Which shouldn't be hard since you picked most of this stuff out."

"You liked it!" She glared playfully at him before making her way into the living room, plopping down onto the couch that she had yet to figure out why he was so attached to.

"Yeah. Yeah. Don't eat all of my food, Suzanne!" He grinned, quickly making his way into the bathroom before she could yell at him for using her middle name again.

She could hear the faint sound of a door locking as she giggled to herself. She might not know what they were, but she was having way too much fun figuring it out.

Ten minutes later, Mark had returned in a pair of loose gray sweatpants and a black wifebeater that did his body much more justice than Mr. Deevman's. "You're lucky you live alone, Sloane. I don't ever get that much hot water." She pouted as she fell into his open arm that'd extended along the back of the couch.

"I'm a lucky guy." He smiled, placing a soft kiss on the top of her head. It was hard for him not to get caught up in the moment with her. She was so mesmerizing. Receiving a slap on his chest, he let out a loud huff. "What's that for?"

"I told you that's not fair!" She reluctantly grinned, refusing to let him see it.

"Eh. Life's not fair babe. But this, this is better." He rested his head against the back of the couch, closing his eyes to memorize the moment. He didn't need them to be open to remember the way her straighter than usual hair fell loosely below her shoulders, her bangs swept loosely to the side, or the way her black sweater hung to all of her curves perfectly. He could easily say the same thing for the pair of jeans she was wearing as well. He especially didn't need them to remember the way her perfume, that smelled vaguely of cinnamon, blended masterfully with the lavender scent her hair gave off on a daily basis. Shaking the thoughts from his head, he opened his eyes to find that she was looking at him. "What do I have shaving cream on my face or something?" He laughed nervously as he used his free hand to feel about his face.

"You're eyes were closed." He couldn't help but blush. It's not that his eyes being closed should embarrass him, it was more along the lines of the thoughts running through his mind. They were friends, no matter how special they were, he shouldn't be thinking those things already. He shouldn't even know those things. Worse part is he could have easily continued to recall the different glints of colors of her eyes, or the way the corners of her lips barely curl when she smiles, no matter how excited she gets.

"And?" His voice was slightly defensive, but there was nothing he could do about that really.

"What were you thinking about?" She smiled at him, and he could have sworn she knew what'd been consuming his mind. She couldn't. He couldn't let her.

"I was thinking.." He grinned as he brought his arm down to wrap around her waist. "I was thinking about how much I really want a cinnamon bun." He nodded before standing up, pulling her to her feet.

"Now?"

"No. Tomorrow night. Yes, now Grey! What better time than the present?" He placed a small kiss on her forehead before making his way back to his room for shoes and a jacket, with her following closely behind.

"So you're risking being seen with me in public for a cinnamon bun?" She asked with a small glint of mocking in her voice.

"Yes. They are definitely worth the risk." He smiled quickly throwing a pair of sneakers on, not even bothering to retie the laces before standing up and intertwining her hands with his.

He froze for a moment, not quite sure why he'd done that. He glanced quickly to her to find no resistance, and his smile quickly met the size of hers as they made their way out of the apartment.

_**Review please!  
**_


	9. IBTWN 2

Lucky for the two, the cinnamon bun shop was on the other side of the city from the hospital. Not that either of them were actually thinking about it. Both of their minds were consumed with the way their hands intertwined perfectly. Mark had to force himself to let go as he let her enter his car, and was ecstatic when she grabbed his hand once he got situated in the car. He rested his hand loosely on the shift stick, giving her enough room to move hers if needed. Of course hoping that she wouldn't. He hadn't been this comfortable with someone since Addi. He was rarely around girls sober outside work walls. Much less going out in sweats. Yet here he was. He didn't think he'd ever find someone he could do this with after Addi, that thought scared him more than he wanted to think about. They were friends, he'd never been just friends with a girl before- ever. Well, he was friends by proxy with Addison before the affair, but Addi was the exception to a lot of things in Mark's life. And apparently now Meredith.

As they parked in front of the empty store, Mark was reluctant to release Meredith's fingers from his grasp. "You do like cinnamon buns, right?" He chuckled, realizing that he never actually asked her.

"I do." She nods, a grin plastered on her face.

"Good, because if you didn't, this could possibly be a very boring and pointless trip for you." He grinned before finally opening his car door, getting slightly afraid that the store was going to close soon.

The two made their way into the store, Mark's arm draped tightly across Meredith's shoulders, keeping her body as close as possible. Within a matter of minutes, they each had a cinnamon bun and a large cup of milk. Meredith had tried to pay for her half, but he'd insisted it was his treat. She was an intern, who was she to refuse free food?

"We're eating here?" Meredith looked around at the empty shop before her eyes settled in on Mark sitting in a small booth in the far corner of the store, next to the exit.

"Are you embarrassed to be seen with me or something?" He asked in mock hurt as he opened up the box that was already hot to the touch on the bottom.

"Well, now that you mention it.." she giggled before making her way to sit across from him in the booth, immediately opening up her box as well.

"Wait!" he swatted away her hand just as she was about to cut off a piece on the end with her fork.

"For what?" she looked over the table to see if she was missing something before looking at Mark.

"There are two rules when eating cinnamon buns that can NEVER be broken." He insisted, guarding her food from her impending fork that was held securely in her right hand.

"Rules? I thought you hated rules." She smirked, recalling the rules she'd set for their friendship only two weeks ago. So much had changed since then. The rules were practically out the window, whether she admitted it or not.

"For the Dirty Mistresses Club. Yes. For cinnamon buns they are absolutely and completely necessary!" He replied, completely hiding the grin that trying to force it's way onto his features.

"Well, it is a very good club." she grinned as she watched him break all of those so called rules simultaneously. Especially the McSteamy face. Damn thing never left him.

"Yes, it is." He grinned before continuing. "Now the rules."

"Fine. What are these rules?" She rolled her eyes playfully, ready to eat her free food that she could smell easily as the heat rose to the ceiling, bypassing her nose just enough to tease her stomach into growling.

"Number one. Never eat one with a fork. Ever. Seriously not allowed, Grey. You will be kicked out of my good graces. Alright?"

She reluctantly placed her fork into his open palm with a small pout as she waited for rule number two. "And?" she asked softly, waiting for him to tell that she couldn't drink her milk or something,

"Oh. Number two is somewhat of a up to my digression type of rule." He grinned as he turned her box around so that it was clear in his view.

"Hey. What are you doing?" She gasped as she swatted his hands away from her food.

"Rule #2 is that I ALWAYS get the biggest cinnamon bun, which in this case, is definitely yours." He grinned happily before exchanging his box with hers, and vice versa.

"I OBJECT!" She pouted, trying her best to get back her box, even though it was no use. "Fine! But next time, I GET THE BIG ONE!"

Mark quirked his eyebrow in amusement, not quite able to go a whole night without picking on her.

"Shut up!" she narrowed her gaze on him, but it quickly loosened back to normal as she felt his feet intertwine with her own.

"You know, I have lots of friends, and none of them play footsie with me."

"Well, then obviously they aren't special friends." Mark grinned as his foot made its way up her leg playfully.

"Obviously."

"OH! I forgot number three." Mark grinned, knowing he was probably pushing his luck more than he should, but couldn't let the opportunity pass him again.

"Oh yeah? What's that? You get both of them?" She pouted slightly, crossing her arms across her chest.

"No sitting on opposite side of the booth." He grinned before patting the portion of the booth on his side.

She smirked, leaning forward onto the table. "You think you're lucky, huh?"

Despite the fact that he had to swallow the enormous lump that formed in his throat, he quickly shook it off, and nodded his head yes as he met her halfway across the table. "Yeah. I do."

"So do I." She giggled before scooting out of her booth to sit next to him, his left arm spreading across the back of the booth so she could lean into him.

"Now can I eat?" she looked at him for a moment until she received a nod. "About damn time, Sloan!" A soft giggle escaped her lips as they parted to allow a small piece of the roll to enter.

Mark leaned closely into her ear, lowering his voice to a husky whisper. "Do any of your friends talk to you like this?"

Meredith looked down at her arms which were now covered in goosebumps and quickly shook her head no.

Mark smiled in silence for a moment until she'd stopped chewing before turning her face to look at him. "How about this?" he whispered before cupping her face and brought her lips to his in a soft kiss. He could still taste the remainder of the icing on her tongue, making it even less appealing to pull away.

After a few moments, Meredith pulled away with a smile on her face. "Nope." She blushed as she took a sip of the milk that'd been untouched. "Now eat the cinnamon bun that you stole from me before I eat it!" She reached for the box only for it to be swatted away.

"You're bossy." He pouted before lifting the bun just enough to take a bite before replacing it back on the box.

"Yeah. Well you cheat." She grinned before pulling him into another kiss, this time taking a small flake off the corner of his lips. "Told you that was mine!"


	10. In Between 3

**A/N: OMGosh. Guys. I was going to wait a few days to post this, but all of your comments just melted my heart. Seriously. Thank you all so much. I can't even begin to tell you how much better they made my day! I know the last two chapters have been Mer/Mark oriented.. so this one has a little of everything.. I hope ya'll like this as much as last chapter! Thanks again! This is the last part of In Between.  
**

**P.S Amanda- Aw! thank you so much! Honestly. That was so incredibly nice of you! **

**ENJOY! **

**Monday, we're smiling and we're laughing  
Tuesday, won't return my calls  
Wednesday, I'm tearin up your pictures baby  
Thursday night we're having a ball**

While Meredith and Mark's relationship was steady and forth going, Addison and Alex's was anything but. He never knew what to expect when he approached her every day, and he'd given up trying to guess. Yet somehow she always ended up at his place at the end of the day. As long as that continued, he didn't really care how she treated him at work. At least not for now. If they ever actually talk about what they were doing, then maybe things would be different.

"Morning Dr. Montgomery." Alex nodded as he leaned forward onto the nurse's desk that Addison was standing at. She'd already left when he woke up this morning, so he wasn't surprised to find that she was back in her dressy clothes, hair and make up done perfectly. He glanced around their surroundings to find that they were alone, no nurses or other workers were to be seen.

"Dr. Karev." Addison offered him a small smile before returning her attention the chart in her hands.

"You look nice today." He grinned, testing the waters to see just how much he could get away with today. It was still early, he had another half hour before he had to meet the other interns for prerounds at six, giving him plenty of time to figure out what to expect the rest of the day. He was going to get assigned to her, like he always did, and he liked to know before hand what to expect. Given, that changed sometimes through out the day depending on the case, or his obscure comments. But what did she expect?

Addison couldn't quite fight off the small smile that graced her features as she felt his eyes take in her appearance. She'd left extra early this morning to get ready. Not just for him, at least that's what she told herself. Past couple of days, she'd been wearing scrubs because she'd been getting ready at his place, and the nurses were starting to take notice. So, she'd crawled out of his arms at four to go to her hotel room. "It's all very natural." She giggled softly as she looked his way, meeting his gaze for only a moment before clearing her voice, seeing a nurse making her way towards the station.

"Follow me." She whispered before nodding towards the nurse, and walking away. Alex didn't even bother to glance at the nurse before making his way after the attending. Who was he to disobey his boss? He watched happily as she made her way into an oncall room. Today was going to be a good day after all, he smirked, waiting for a few moments at another station before making his way into the room as well. As soon as the door closed, and the lock sounded, Addison immediately pushed him against the door, kissing him quickly, forgetting completely about the makeup that she'd worked so hard on that morning.

**Love ain't got to be something complicated  
It can be as easy as it seems  
So tell me if we're hot or cold baby  
Just save me from the inbetween**

By some twist of fate, Alex didn't get assigned to Addison that day. Of course Addison hid her disappointment well when Izzie walked up to her. Just seemed cruel that he didn't get assigned to her the one day she dressed up. Given, with how carried away they'd gotten just a little bit earlier, it might have been a good thing. She needed to focus, and it was hard when all of his attention was on her. She still had to remind herself that she was really in a relationship, or something similar anyway, with an intern. As much as she gave Derek hell about it, it was hard to believe.

It was now lunchtime, and the only person Addison could find to sit with is Mark. Mostly because she didn't feel like sitting alone, and the only other people in the court were the interns. She hadn't really talked to Mark since their last attempt at being friends, but at least she would be eating. "This seat taken?"

Mark had been distracted by Meredith, who'd been sending him not so subtle suggestive glances the entire time he'd been sitting down. If he'd known she would change that much, he would have kissed her a lot sooner. After hearing someone clear their throat, he tore away his gaze long enough to see the redhead standing in front of him. "Addi. Hey." He smiled sheepishly at her, gesturing to the seat in front of him, as to not look like a stalker.

"Thanks." Addison smiled as she took the seat he'd nodded towards. "Long time no talk."

"Yeah." He frowned. "Sorry about that." He was trying his best to keep his remarks to herself about how her hair was slightly unkempt, and one of the top buttons of her blouse seemed to be broken off, mostly because that would lead to a conversation he really didn't want to have. Even Addison had a sex life. Damnit. He casted a glance back over to Meredith to find that she suddenly seemed uncomfortable. He sent her a knowing smile, trying to ease her worries. Well, at least he hoped she was worried. Because he definitely was not pleased when she was flirty with other guys. He was also receiving a glare from Alex, but he just assumed it was because he'd always been such an ass to him. He was an intern! What did he expect?

"No worries." Addi shrugged her shoulders, casting a quick glance to Alex so that Mark wouldn't notice. "So how are things with Grey?"

"Actually.." Mark smiled despite of himself as he licked his lips to remember the sweet taste of cinnamon from the night of before. Not that that was really possible, but it didn't stop him from trying.

"Well isn't this just a nice scene." An angry voice came from the other side of them, causing them both turn to find Derek. "You're just a go-getter aren't you Mark." Derek glared at him before turning his attention to Addison. "And you. You just enjoy being tortured don't you. Always going for people that don't want you!"

Addison visibly flinched, her eyes filling with tears despite her best efforts. She stood up shakily to meet his gaze. "Listen Derek, You're alone. I get it. You don't do well alone. But don't you EVER say something like that about me again. Do you understand me? I didn't go after you! I gave you a choice, and you chose me! We were married! You think you're the only person who felt a sense of responsibility to it? THINK AGAIN!" With that, she casted Mark an apologetic glance, and walked away.

"What the hell is your problem, Derek? We were just talking!" Mark growled as Derek took the seat that Addison had previously been occupying. "And why the hell are you sitting down?"

"Consider it a favor. She's a witch that destroys everything in her path. You're better off avoiding her. Believe me." Derek casted him a small smile that confirmed that he was proud of what he'd done, before his eyes were drawn to Meredith, his head immediately falling to his feet in shame.

"I think you should leave now, Derek." Mark spoke in a low, but stern, tone as more people seemed to gather around the area.

"Yeah. I think I will." Derek stood up and left the way he came, no one following him.

Once Derek was out of sight, the interns dispersed, suddenly everyone having somewhere to go. Meredith made her way over to Mark who was still sitting at the same table, staring down at his hands. "You alright?"

A small smile appeared on his face at the sound of her voice before he looked up at her. "Yeah. I am now." He grinned before standing up. "Want some coffee?"

"Do you live off coffee?" Meredith giggled, nodding her head none the less.

"Of course."

**Give me proof we're going forward  
And you know I won't ignore it.  
I just need to know what's goin on.\  
If you like this indecision,  
well I hate to cause division, but I'm gone.  
Baby I'm gone.**

For the first time since they'd started hanging out, Meredith invited Mark over to her house. Given, it'd taken him by complete surprise and nearly made him choke on his very hot coffee, he was quick to accept the offer. He hadn't been since that night he'd tucked her in. It was only a couple weeks ago, but so much had changed since then that it felt like a lifetime. Considering he already knew her roommates, he didn't have to worry about first impressions. He was pretty sure they hated him already. Obviously it didn't matter too much to Meredith, at least that's what he tried to tell himself.

It was eight o'clock before Mark found himself on Meredith's doorsteps. He wasn't quite sure why, but he was unbelievably nervous. Sweaty palms, pacing around the box-filled bedroom nervous. He'd spent a good twenty minutes deciphering between his black sweater or a baby blue button up shirt. The only thing he wasn't freaking out about was his jeans. He knew what jeans he was going to wear. They were his lucky jeans. Despite the fact that he was wearing them the night him and Addison had their first kiss, he was adamant at the fact that they were lucky for other reasons, even reasons before that. Problem was that he'd never been able to remember a time he'd worn them before that, or after for that matter, that something special happened to him. That wasn't the point though. He'd finally decided on the button up, not only did it bring out his eyes, it also did nothing to cover up his well-defined, and very much worked for, biceps.

As Izzie opened the door in a pair of lose pajama pants and a form-fitting tank top with her her hair swept up into a half bun, he cursed himself for spending so much time on his outfit. By the look on her face, he could tell that she wasn't expecting him at her house, nor was she apparently willing to let him in without a reason.

"Hey Stevens." He did his best to offer a confident grin as he peeked past her for signs of Meredith to save him from the inevitably uncomfortable conversation.

"Izzie." She smiled nervously, realizing how silly she must look with what only could be referred to as ungodly amounts of fudge dispersed sporadically about her face, and probably on her clothes as well. "You can call me Izzie." She corrected herself, following Mark's gaze into the house for the same reason. Meredith had vaguely mentioned that she was having a friend over, but she conveniently forgot to mention that it was McSteamy! A fact that Izzie suddenly felt like strangling her roommate for.

"Alright." He grinned as he stuck his hands into his pockets. "Can I come in, Izzie?"

Her cheeks flushed for a moment before she nodded and stepped out of his way to enter the house. "Sorry, I've been baking."

"I heard." Mark chuckled, recalling one of Meredith's rants about Izzie's all nighters in the kitchen. Mark had been apart of several of those, but never did it involve baking.

"Right. Well. Um. Make yourself at home. Mer should be down any second." Izzie gestured towards the living room before quickly making her way back into the kitchen, and out of his sight.

Mark smiled as he made his way into the living room, causing George, who'd been too preoccupied with one of Ellis's surgery tapes on tv to pay attention to who was at the door. "O'Malley." Mark nodded. He'd never really talked to the guy, therefore he didn't particularly have a lot to say. It wasn't exactly a secret that George wasn't his biggest fan after the whole him sleeping with Torres hit the fan. How was he suppose to know? She invited him!

George, whose mind was really at the hospital with his dad, looked up in shock at the older doctor standing before him. "Doc.. Ma.. What are you doing here?" Every time he saw the doctor, George felt the need to go to the gym. He hated the gym, and he hated that feeling.

Apparently Meredith hadn't told anyone that he was coming, but before he could respond, Meredith showed up behind him in a lavender sweater accompanied with a pair of jeans, making him feel a little better about his choice of clothes. "Grey." Mark greeted her with a grin and a tight hug, answering George's question.

"I.. I thought you two were just friends." George mumbled, irritated with Mark's sleeping habits.

"We are!" They both responded, casting a small glance each others way.

"Right. And I have a six pack." George mumbled, clicking off the tv before making his way out of the room. "I'm going to the hospital."

"Bye George!" Meredith grinned as she waited for the door to close before letting her giggles escape.

"Thanks for not telling them, Grey! Really! They made me feel very welcome!" He tightened his grasp around her waist as he placed a light kiss on her forehead.

"Aw. Come here, you baby!" She smirked before bringing his lips down onto hers. "Feel welcome now?"

"A little. But I think you can do better than that." He responded before deepening the kiss.

**Said love ain't got to be something complicated  
It can be as easy as it seems  
So tell me if we're hot or cold baby  
Just save me from the inbetween**

It was ten o'clock before Alex made his way to Joe's. He'd been scrubbing in on a surgery with Derek, and there had been complications. Ultimately, they'd lost the patient. Alex was pretty sure that it had something to do with the Shepherds/Sloane encounter at lunch, but that wasn't really any of his business. He found her sitting at the bar, with four shots in front of her. Taking the empty stool next to her, he made his presence known. "Hey Addi."

Her features softened as she felt his hand rest on her lower back. Turning towards him, she offered a small smile before scooting two of the shots over in front of him. "Let the party begin." She announced finally taking one of the shots that she'd been staring at for the last hour and a half.

Despite himself, he couldn't help but smile. "You waited for me?"

"Consider it a birthday present." She quipped back easily, feeling the contents of the alcohol burn her insides.

"My birthday isn't for another two months." He laughed, still not taking one of the shots.

"Didn't your parents ever tell you to take what you can get?" Addison slurred only slightly as the second shot made its way into her system.

"My parents didn't really talk to me." He smiled softly at her before taking one of her hands in his, "Come with me."

"But what about your presents?" She pouted her lower lip effectively, she'd been nice enough to save him two of them, and he didn't even want them! How rude!

"Maybe next time." He leaned in for a moment to kiss her lips before pulling her to her feet.

"Where are we going?" She asked curiously as she watched him pay for her drinks, nodding to Derek to give him the drinks. "And why are we giving that ass your presents?" Addison was still furious about lunch. What nerve!

"Because he needs it. I don't." He replied before leading her out of the bar.

"But I do!" She pouted, turning her head back just enough to send a death glare to Derek, muttering "enjoy!"

** Please let me know what ya'll thought! **


	11. Meant Something To Me

_**Thanks so much for the reviews! Any bit helps! I'm so glad you guys love this story as much as I do:) I really hope ya'll like this chapter! It took forever to write! Let me know!  
**_

_**Song is Meant Something To Me by Tyler Hilton**_

**Well a kiss might be just a kiss to you  
But baby it meant something to me  
And a night to remember might be  
Just a Monday in September  
Baby it meant something to me**

The two had tried to sit down to watch a movie, but neither could concentrate, so after restarting it three times, they decided to find something else to do. They wondered around until they made their way into the kitchen to find Izzie starting a new batch of .. well they thought it was cookies. Maybe muffins.

Mark grinned as he leaned into Meredith's ear. "Why do you buy anything at the cart again?"

"Coffee." Meredith grinned before making her way onto one of the barstools. "Want some company, Iz?" Meredith leaned over to see what was in the pink mixing bowl, running her pinkie finger along the edges for a taste. "Mm. Yummy." She giggled as she removed the finger from her mouth.

"Don't I get a taste?" Mark pouted as he sat on the stool next to her, his lower lip puckering out just enough to look like a cookie deprived five year old.

"You're such a baby, Sloane!" Meredith shook her head as she stuck her pinkie in the batter once again, this time offering it to Mark, but pulling away before he reached it.

"EVIL!" His eyes glazed over as they kept watch on the batter filled finger.

Just as Meredith was about to lick her finger, Mark grabbed it, and licked the batter off quickly. "Hey!" Meredith grinned as she lingered her pinkie long enough for his tongue to press it to the top of his mouth in tight pocket, causing her to blush slightly.

"Alright you two. None of that. I'm baking!" Izzie tried her best to hide the grin that'd formed on her features as the two looked at her as if they'd been caught making out in the bathroom stalls in elementary school. She was such a softy for new relationships. How Meredith called them friends, she would never understand. If that was the case, she could definitely see herself being friends with him. But, she figured, that could be a little awkward. Shaking the thoughts away, she softened her features. "If you are going to stay in here, you're going to bake!"

"Bake?" They both asked back, clearly certain they'd misunderstood her. They didn't bake! That's what take out was for. "We don't bake." Mark added with a smile as he looked from Izzie to Meredith and back again for confirmation.

"Nope." Meredith shook her head with an innocent smile, hoping that Izzie wouldn't make her completely embarrass her by making her show just how bad she was at it.

"Well you two can always leave." Izzie replied with a grin, silently hoping that they wouldn't. It was good to see Mer happy.

"But you have the good stuff." Mark defended, reaching for the batter for another taste, quickly getting a swat on the hand by her spatula that she just so happened hadn't used since it was rinsed, so none of the batter got on him.

"You're not fun." He pouted as he turned to Meredith. "You said she was the fun one." He huffed, leaning back in his chair, crossing his arms in a huff against his chest.

"She is!" Meredith grinned. "She just doesn't like you." With that, she stuck out her tongue at him.

"Don't tease me, Grey!" Mark grinned, leaning towards her to wrap his arm around her waist.

"BAKING, YOU TWO! NOT TAUNTING! For the love of God, Meredith. Just kiss him already before I do!" She was only half serious, but it still made her smile none the less when Meredith pulled his neck, connecting their lips for a moment.

"I knew I liked you, Stevens." Mark winked at her before a serious expression took over. "So what are we making tonight, chef?"

**I know you try  
It's gotta come from the heart  
I know I believe it's the hardest part of love**

The cab ride to the park was silent, with the exception of Addison's pestering of where their destination was, but it fell on deaf ears. He was being completely mute and immobile, with the exception of the swirl his thumb was doing on her hand.

"Alex!" She whined, looking out the window for some hint of where he could possibly be taking her. Failing, she sighed and relaxed, reluctantly, into the seats of the taxi.

Alex moved to Seattle about two months before his internship started to get to know the ins and outs of the city. When he'd found this place, he'd spent hours on hours there. It was calming and serene. It reminded him of why he'd moved across the country to begin with. The OR. He wanted to be a surgeon, and this place, despite the people constantly rustling about, reminded him the OR. Maybe it was because, although on the opposite side of the spectrum, this place was perfection in his eyes. He'd come every morning to run the two and a half miles around it, not a day strayed. Well, that is until he started running to the hospital.

Alki Beach Park. He hadn't been in awhile, because the park closes at 11, and he had formed the habit of going to Joe's instead of here lately. But he wanted to bring Addison. He hoped that if he showed her a part of his life,she would reciprocate the effort. Even though he knew he was asking a lot.

Tears formed in Addison's eyes as she saw the sign to the entrance of the park. This one of the first places she'd come to when she decided to stay in Seattle. She'd begged Derek for days to come with her, but he refused. It was by the far the prettiest sight she'd seen in Seattle, and one of the only things that she had to comfort herself. The last time she came was the day before she signed the divorce papers. She sat in front of the playground for at least an hour. Even though the elaborate play ground was empty at the time, she still had to mourn the fact that she never had children with Derek, and the child that she'd terminated before it had a chance to see the outside of her body. She cried the entire time, and even though she knew if she called Mark, he would be there in a moment's notice, she didn't. It would be unbelievably cruel to ask him to comfort her when she was the reason they didn't have someone on that playground. So she'd sat alone, ignoring the few stares she'd received when her sobs got louder than intended. Her eyes scanned over the park to find that it was nearly deserted, with the exception of the occasional tourist. "What are we doing here?" She turned to Alex, who was already paying the driver the fare.

"Come on." He grinned before quickly getting out of the cab.

"Alex! This place is deserted!" She tried her best to keep her serious face in stern view, but as he grabbed her hand, she couldn't help that the corners of her lips tipped upwards into a smile.

"The ghosts don't come out to play until after midnight. No worries." He grinned, pulling her along until he reached the spot he'd wanted to show her all along.

"Not funny!" She pouted, bringing them to a complete stop in the middle of the trail.

"Aw. Come on, Addison. It's not much farther. I promise." After another squeeze of her hand, Addi reluctantly loosened the stern grip her shoes had on the concrete, and allowed him to pull her along.

**And cause you can remember  
The 22nd day in November  
Baby you mean something to me**

An hour later, after a collective effort from Mark and Meredith, with Izzie's assistance, a chocolate cake emerged, single layered, from the oven. Mark leaned forward as Izzie placed it on the stove top, and a smile graced his face as he leaned back up. "It smells.. edible!"

"You don't have to make fun of me, Mark! I know I can't bake!" Meredith pouted, still rooted in her barstool.

"I mean it!" He grinned at her, gesturing for her to come over. "If you don't believe me, come smell for yourself!"

"He's right, Mer. It doesn't look too bad either." Izzie chimed in, relieved that they didn't burn down the kitchen, or more so the house.

"I TOLD YOU!" Mark stuck out his tongue at her.

"Yeah Yeah." Meredith grinned, rolling her eyes at him, still not moving from her chair.

"Fine. Then I will take all the credit." Mark nodded his head towards Izzie, winking at her to go along.

"What? No! I worked my ass off on that cake!" Meredith finally stood up from her stool, making her way over to the stove.

"Doesn't seem like it, Meredith. You're sitting all the way over there, while me and Izzie have worked so hard to make sure it was cooked just perfectly."

"Oh please! All you did was drop the eggs in!" Meredith shoved him out of the way so she was standing in front of the cake, leaning in to smell it.

"So! All you did pour in the mix!" He gasped, pouting his lower lip out.

"Now now you two! You both were equally important in the making of this cake. You should be proud." Izzie exhaled loudly, suddenly feeling like a babysitter. She was the youngest of the three.

"IT'S MINE!" Meredith grinned as she realized that it actually did smell good.

"I CALLED IT FIRST!" Mark crossed his arms against his chest in finality.

"SUCKS TO BE YOU!" Meredith stuck out her tongue at him, sticking out her elbow to keep him away.

"I already told you about doing that, Grey." He grinned, licking his lips.

"What ya gonna do about it, big baby?" She stuck out her tongue again at him.

"This." He grinned, grabbing her hips to push her back towards the counter, away from the stove, before kissing her again.

**I know you try  
Baby it's gotta come from the heart  
I know I believe it's the hardest part of love**

Less than ten minutes later, Alex finally took a seat on an empty picnic table, gesturing to the spot beside him, encouraging her to follow suit. She, once again, obliged to his commands, and sat close beside him, so that when she buried her nose into his neck, her face was nearly completely protected from the chilling wind.

After a moment of peaceful silence, Addison's eyes followed Alex's outstretched hand to a monument in the distance. "See that?" He nodded in the general direction.

"The monument?" She raised an eyebrow, sincerely hoping that he wasn't making her subject herself to the cold for a century year old monument. .

"Yeah." He grinned, realizing that he probably needed to make his point quickly.

"You best be kidding me, Karev." She glared, once again hiding her face into his shoulder. He couldn't help but chuckle as he turned towards her, opening up his jacket for her to snuggle into. "Better?" He whispered into her hair as she nuzzled into his chest. Simply receiving a nod in response, he decided to continue with his story.

"Story goes that's where the first white settlers landed in Seattle. The Chief apparently welcomed them and helped them survive through the winter. My first, okay it was the second, day in Seattle I spent the whole day walking back and forth around there, praying that my internship, well more like my attendings, wouldn't eat me alive."

"Aw." She cooed, placing a soft kiss on his chest. "Then you met Satan. Lucky you."

"Ruler of all things evil, right?" He laughed, wrapping his arms around her thin frame.

"So I've been told." A calming silence fell over them for several minutes as the waves crashed against the rocks. "Karev?" Her voice was much softer at the mention of his name, vulnerable even.

"Yeah?" He nearly choked out, fearing a complete and total rejection.

"What exactly is going on- with us, I mean?" She sighed, trying her best to remember when he went from the pain in the ass intern, to someone she really cared about. Someone she wasn't sure she could picture her life in Seattle without anymore, her life at all if she pushed herself far enough to admit it.

"I.. I don't know." He sighed, placing another kiss on her head. "But I know that I care about you. And I know that I've never ever brought anyone else here. And I probably never will again."

With that, she lifted her head to meet his gaze, her fingers drawn to his face, seemingly magnetically, as they ran soft lines along his jaw. "Kar... Alex." She sighed, pulling her self away from his grasp. "This wasn't suppose to happen, ya know? We weren't.. I wasn't planning on a 'we'."

"Neither was I." He chuckled, bringing his hands to cup her face. "But it's kinda nice. Right?" She could see the reflection of the moon in his eyes, and it made them look all the more hopeful, all the more believable that they, despite what her gut was screaming at her, could be happy- together.

"Yeah. It is." She finally nodded, leaning forward to kiss his lips. "Definitely nice." She giggled, wrapping her arms around his neck.

**And a kiss might be just a kiss to you  
But maybe it meant something  
Or maybe it meant nothing  
Baby it meant something to me**

Two hours had passed quickly and Izzie had dismissed herself from the duo in the kitchen to go to bed. Atleast that's what she said. The two had once again made their way back into the living room, the tv once again lighting up the room pointlessly. Neither of them even paid enough attention to realize that cartoons were playing.

"We kissed." Mark grinned as Meredith rested her head on his chest.

"And?" Meredith shrugged her shoulders, hoping that he'd let her pretend that she hadn't completely crossed the line of friends for just a little longer.

"We kissed in front of Stevens. A lot." He continued, deciding that it was now or never.

Sitting up straight, Meredith turned towards him, a serious look dwelling in her eyes. "Mark.. " She was dead set on telling him that they couldn't be any more than what they were. Friends with the occasional kiss. But the longer she looked into his pleading eyes, the more the chance of her telling him that diminished.

"Meredith.." He placed a finger over his lips, silencing her instantly to allow him to speak. "Can I just say something first?" After recieving a nod in response, he removed his finger from her lips, reluctantly. "Alright Mer. You see the thing is. I like you. I like you a lot. Honestly, it's a completely new feeling for me. Because not only do I like you, I care about you. And me caring about people? It never ends well. It doesn't even go well. I always fuck it up. But this, Meredith? This is something I haven't screwed up yet, and I don't want to. I get it that you have a twisted past. But so do I. I get that a part of you will always have a spot for Derek that I probably can never touch. I know that, and I don't really care to. Just like I wouldn't want anyone to take away what I shared with Addison, no matter how short lived it was. But you haven't went back to him yet, and that tells me that maybe it's not enough. But this, what I feel for you, and what I hope you feel for me, I think it could be enough, Meredith. It could be enough if you just gave me, gave us, a chance! Please just give us a chance, babe."

Babe. He'd called her babe. She'd always hated when people called her babe. It seemed too superficial, too plastic. But she knew that it was different in this moment. She knew that Mark was just trying to make her understand, and a part of her did. She just didn't know if she could do what he was asking. She wasn't sure she could completely close the book, any more than she already had, on Derek. He was McDreamy. "He's not the type of guy you give up if you can help it." She sighed, looking down at her hands that'd been consumed by his, even though she didn't remember him doing it.

She'd told him that before, the day they first met, that seemed like an eternity ago. Completely different circumstances. "But you let him go the minute you didn't follow him out of that bar, babe. Regardless of me in the picture, you gave him up."

A merely speck of a tear traveled from the corner of her eye to the top of her cheek before it was softly brushed away by the padding of his thumb. "You know he was all I wanted for so long, Mark. He was standing right there in front of me for the taking, and I looked to you. I couldn't bring myself to look away from your eyes, but when I looked away, I couldn't breathe anymore. It was like I needed you to breath. Standing in front of Derek was like being in a crowded closed in room full of people with cigarettes with no clean air to breathe, and then I see you, and it's like all the smoke disappears, and I'm in the clouds. I.. I've never felt like this before."

"Then what's the problem?" He cooed, grasping slightly tighter onto her hands.

"It scares me!" She confessed, her head lowering down to look, once again, at their hands. "I promised myself after Derek chose Addison I wouldn't ever let myself need a guy again. I gave Derek everything I had, and it wasn't enough. I wasn't enough. Now, I'm at that point again. I'm just waiting for your wife to show up and take you away from me before I become enough!"

"Meredith!" He couldn't quite hide the grin on his face. "Look at me, babe." She reluctantly obeyed, once again getting lost in his eyes. "I have no wife, Mer. I have no deep dark secrets that will forever affect the way you see me. No angry family waiting to decapitate your head. In fact, I don't have a family at all for that matter. What you see is what you get with me, Meredith. You know about Addison. I would love to say that Addison was my biggest mistake of my life. I'd love to say that she wasn't worth losing the only thing resembling a family I've ever known, but it'd be a lie. I don't regret a moment of it, I don't even believe in regrets. Do I miss Derek? Of course. But I'd be lying if I said I would change anything that I did. Except maybe beg Addison a little more to tell him. I am who I am."

She smiled softly at him, moving her hands from him just long enough to cup his face. "I like who you are." She grinned as she stood up, pulling him up with her.

"Where are we going?" Mark couldn't figure out what was happening.

"I'm going to bed." She mused happily dragging him along behind her.

"Now? You're going to bed now? Don't you think we should talk?" He squinted his eyes in confusion.

"Maybe tomorrow." She continued to smile as she started walking the opposite way of the door, towards the stairs.

"Why are you still dragging me along?" He grinned as just how much his life had lacked a night life became apparent.

"We're having a sleepover." Meredith grinned, even though she didn't turn around for him to see it.

"I'm not sleeping on the floor, am I?" He asked, trying not to get too excited.

"Nope. But your pants are staying on." She laughed, picturing his expression as they entered her room.

"Didn't I tell you I like to sleep in my birthday suit?" He grinned as she finally released her grasp on his arm as she made her way into her closet for pajamas. "How is it fair that you get to be all comfty in PJs and I don't?"

"Life's not fair, babe." She giggled, walking back into the room with a long t-shirt on showing off her legs.

"I noticed." Mark mumbled as he walked to the bed, getting in as soon as he discarded his button up shirt, along with his undershirt. He could feel Meredith's eyes on him, not being able to keep his comments to himself. "Pictures last longer, ya know?"

"Wanna sleep on the floor, Sloan?" She quipped back, tossing back the covers jsut enough to slide under them.

"Meanie." He pouted before sliding in as well, pulling her close enough to him so that he could rest his arms comfortably across her waist.

"Eh. You like it!"

"I do."

**Please let me know what ya'll thought! Good/bad/ even awful:) Anything that you all would like to see:)  
**


	12. Brothers on a Hotel Bed

**_Thanks so much for the reviews guys! You don't know how much they mean to me! The song is called Brothers on a Hotel Bed by Death Cab for Cutie!_  
**

**You may tire of me  
As our December sun is setting  
Cause I'm not who I used to be  
No longer easy on the eyes  
But these wrinkles masterfully disguise  
The youthful boy below**

The next week passed quickly for Mark as he'd spent almost of his free time at Meredith's place. Only downside was that she still insisted his clothes stay on. But at least there had been more kissing. Lots more kissing, he thought with a smile as he entered his office on a Monday morning, he'd had the day before off, and so he was actually happy to be back in the hospital. Sure, when he was here, he wanted to be somewhere else, but it did make him feel important. He had three surgeries scheduled today, three simply because he knew they wouldn't take longer than an hour each, two max. They were all simple procedures he'd done countless times, and he was more than prepared for them. But he wasn't prepared for someone sitting on the cough of his office.

"Derek?" Even though he tried to hide it, his voice cracked slightly as he saw his former best friend, his former brother, sitting down staring at his friends that he was compulsively rubbing together. If it hadn't been at least seventy degrees in his office at that moment, he would have sworn it was for warmth, but that wasn't the case. Derek didn't even flinch as he turned on the lights, nor did he respond when his name was called. At least not physically.

"Do you remember in med school, senior year, it was the night before our last exam?" Still not looking up from his hands, Derek listened as Mark made his way to his desk, and took a seat.

"How could I forget? You were walking around like a zombie, that damn book was practically glued to your hands. You were going on and on about how if you didn't ace the exam you would become a nobody in the world, and be forgotten." Mark couldn't help but laugh, despite the slight uneasiness he felt that Derek was in his office. He'd expected the first visit, but not this one.

"Did I ever tell you I failed that exam?" Derek let out a small laugh that was heavily laced with bitterness.

"Seriously?" Mark scratched the back of his head trying to figure out where this was going.

**Who turned your way and saw  
Something he was not looking for  
Both a beginning and an end  
But now he lives inside  
Someone he does not recognize  
When he catches his reflection on accident**

"Yeah. But I guess I was wrong. I mean look where I'm at. Right? At a hospital where everyone, except the occasional nurse, hates me, and I, even though it was completely justified, I cut off my.. my" Derek trailed off as he finally lifted his head so that he could look at Mark. He looked refreshed. Happy. Serene even. Derek was overwhelmed in jealousy and sadness. "my only brother I've ever known." Derek sighed, his eyes brimming with tears as he looked back down at the floor.

Mark was slightly stunned. He didn't know what he was suppose to say. "Derek. You're my family. Alright? Even if I never talk to you again the rest of my life, you will be my family- my only family, and if anyone ever asked, I would tell them I have the best family in the entire world." Mark stood from his chair reluctantly, and made his way to the couch to sit beside Derek. "Derek.. I don't know what to say except that I miss you." Mark sighed, burying his face into his hands. "I know I have no right to say that after everything I've put you through, but I do."

"I got a job offer.." Derek stated with as little as emotion as he could. Simply because he didn't know what to think, what he should do. "In Boston." He slowly turned his head towards Mark to find that his eyes were bulged. "They want me to be COS."

"Di.. Did you accept?" Mark fumbled on his words as he realized this was the best and worst news he'd heard since he arrived in Seattle. It was amazing for Derek, it really was, and he knew that he was suppose to tell him that it was an amazing opportunity, and that he should take it. But the other part of him, the bigger and more selfish part, wanted to beg him to stay. He wanted to mend as much as their friendship as he could. He wanted his family back in any way he could get it. He needed him.

"I told them I'd call them within the next week with a final answer." Derek sighed as he ran his fingers through his hair that was a little wild since he'd barely slept in the last two days since he'd received the offer.

"Well.. what do you want to do?" Mark asked, trying his best to be neutral. He had no right to ask Derek to stay. He was determined to just let Derek talk, because that's what Derek needed. He needed to sort out the pros and cons. He needed to understand the consequences, and if saying them out loud would help him, Mark was more than willing to be the person he spoke to.

**On the back of a motorbike  
With your arms outstretched trying to take flight  
Leaving everything behind  
But even at our swiftest speed  
We couldn't break from the concrete  
And the city where we still reside**

"I love Seattle. I love the rain. I love the ferries. I even love the air. It has a sort of.. refreshing scent to it." Derek let out a soft laugh before looking back down to the floor. "But being Chief is my dream, and that isn't a guarantee here. I've made too many mistakes, I've let Richard down too many times. I.."

"Derek!" Mark called out before he ended up completely degrading himself to nothing, and he would, Mark was sure of that.

"Huh?" He looked up from his shoes to find that Mark was wearing a completely overwhelmed expression. "Oh. I .. I think I should go. Um. Goodbye Mark."

"Shepherd! Wait!" Mark outstretched his arm just enough to reach Derek, pulling him back on the couch.

"This was a bad idea. I.. I shouldn't be here, Mark." He shook his head, but sat back down none the less. "It was a mistake."

**And I have learned  
That even landlocked lovers yearn  
For the sea like navy men  
Cause now we say goodnight  
From our own seperate sides  
Like brothers on a hotel bed  
Like brothers on a hotel bed  
Like brothers on a hotel bed  
Like brothers on a hotel bed**

"Just stop for one damn second, will ya?" Mark rubbed the balls of his fist into his eyes, trying to rid all of the selfish thoughts from his mind, replacing them with the fact that no matter what happened, he would never get his brother back. "You should follow your dreams, Derek. God knows that's the only damn thing we have. If your dreams are to be Chief, and Richard tells you, and I mean it better be pretty damn direct, Derek, that you aren't going to get Chief here, then I think... I think that.. maybe Boston would be good for you."

A small smile spread onto Derek's face as he watched Mark be selfless. He was putting someone else's needs before his own, and although he'd probably never- ever admit it, he was proud. Seattle had been good to him. Meredith- he cut the thoughts from his mind before he could dwell on it any longer. "So I should talk to Richard?"

"You could. Or you could be spontaneous and travel across the country- again, on a whimsical magic carpet ride and disappear into the thin air."

"I was running away when I came here." He sighed, recalling once again why he'd lost his brother to begin with.

"Aren't you running to Boston, too?" Mark didn't mean to ask, it wasn't suppose to ever leave his mouth. But it did. Because he's never been able to keep his thoughts to himself when he was around Derek. Well, with the exception of Addison.

Derek's head shot up as his eyes narrowed in on Mark. "What the hell gives you nerve to talk to me about MY life?"

"You came to me, Derek! Remember that!" He quipped back, anger quickly replacing the happiness he'd felt being Derek's person again.

"Exactly! What the hell was I thinking?" His voice raised to a yell, standing up to walk around. It took every fiber of self restraint he had not to walk out. But he knew he couldn't, because he needed this. He'd already decided to accept the offer. He had to. It was his only choice really. He really just wanted to make peace, but Mark always had a way of making things impossible.

"Why won't you just accept the fact that you miss me- you miss us, Derek. You.. You have to!" Mark sighed, wondering how long he was going to be in this losing battle before one of them were paged.

"Because I can't! Because you.. you screwed me over, Mark! You are nothing to me!" He yelled, trying his best to believe what he was saying.

"Then why are you here?" He outstretched his hands in front of him in annoyance.

"BECAUSE I NEED TO KNOW THAT SHE'S GOING TO BE OKAY!" The room quickly fell silent as Mark lost all hope of ever having brother back all over again. It was all about Meredith. It'd always been about a girl.

**You may tire of me  
As our December sun is setting  
Cause I'm not who I used to be**

"Please tell me you're kidding, Shepherd. Meredith? This is about Grey? You came here to talk about Mer? Why didn't you just talk to her? I'm sure it would have been so much 'easier' for you than having to talk to a 'nothing' like me!" He growled, finally moving from the couch towards the doorway. "I think it's time you leave!"

"Of course! Leave it to Mark to ignore the truth!" Derek scoffed, not moving from his standing position beside the couch.

"Leave it to Derek to run the hell away from it!" Mark snipped back quickly, completely consumed in anger.

"I'm still here, aren't I!"

"Only because you want some twisted reassurance that Meredith loves you in some way. I can't give you that reassurance, Derek. Not because it's not true, but because I don't know what Meredith feels, even thinks, about you."

"She.. She doesn't ever talk about me... at all?" His bottom lip began to quiver as he sat back down on the couch, ignoring Mark's firm grasp on the door handle to the not yet opened door.

"You're.. you're talking to the wrong person, Derek." Mark sighed, loosening his grasp on the handle, but opened it anyway. "Good luck in Boston." He watched as Derek's head lifted in confusion. "You'd be an idiot not to go, Derek." He offered a small, minuscule even, smile as Derek stood up and made his way towards him, towards the door.

"Goodbye Mark." Derek sighed, thought momentarily of patting his shoulder, but decided against it. "Good luck in Seattle."

_**This is me- shamelessly asking you to review :D **_


	13. Beating Hearts Baby

**Thanks so much for the reviews, guys! They make my day:) Hope you like this chapter! Song is Beating Hearts Baby by Head Automatica.  
**

Somehow, Meredith had talked Mark into having lunch with her and the rest of the interns. Apparently Cristina was scrubbed in on a surgery, and for that he was thankful. The last thing he needed was her glaring looks of disapproval. Any other time he wouldn't have cared, but Cristina was Meredith's person. He never wanted her to know what it feels like to loser her person. He wouldn't wish it on anyone.

"Relax Mark. It's just Iz and the guys!" Meredith grinned as she led him out to the courtyard. Stopping instantly in her tracks as soon as she could see the table. "And Addison?"

Mark's eyes shot up towards the table to find that Addison was, in fact, sitting with Karev. She was dating an intern too? What the hell is going on in this hospital? What he hated the most was that it didn't really bother him. He couldn't help but wish it'd never bothers him, that way he would still have his person, but at his eyes went back to Mer, it all faded away. He was happy, and although Derek was his family, he could never give him this feeling.

**beating hearts baby  
baby is this love for real?  
let me in your arms to feel  
beating hearts baby  
the beating of your heart, baby  
the beating of your heart, baby**

"Don't worry babe, she only bites when she's.. nevermind. Let's go." Mark grinned as he placed his hand on the small of her back to guide her, ignoring the stares and glares they received from nurses, most of them he hadn't spoken to since he slept with them. Those were the glares he could handle, he was used to them.

"I don't want to know." She shakes her head at him as they approach the table. "Guess we had the same idea, Alex." Meredith tried to laugh as she looks at Addison. "Hey Addison."

"Hey Addi. Nice hair." Mark chuckles to break the silences, taking the seat next to her.

Addison's hand quickly flew to her head to find nothing but smooth lines. Narrowing her eyes on him, she slapped his arm. "Ass." Finally turning her attention to Meredith, Addison smiled. "Hey Meredith. Kinda you're surprised you look so happy."

Mark's eyes bulged as he glared at Addison to see if she was talking about Derek, and if she was, to drop it. It wasn't their news to tell, especially to Meredith.

"Why?" Mer's happy facade crumbled to dread as her eyes fixed themselves on the female attending.

"Don't listen to her, Mer. She forgot to defang this morning." Alex laughed, squeezing Addison's hand softly.

"Well I only had one cup of coffee this morning. What do you expect, Karev?" She giggles, beginning to lean in for a kiss but stops herself. Unfortunately not fast enough to pass by Mark unnoticed.

**you, you want nothing to do with me  
you, you want nothing to do with me  
i, i don't know what to do with you  
cause you don't know what you do to me**

"Who knew Satan could smile without the the ritualed four cups of coffee?"

"That's why we're not friends, Sloan!" Addison glared before letting out a small laugh with a shrug of her shoulders.

"Yeah. Keep telling yourself that." Mark laughed as he grabbed onto Meredith's hand.

For the first time since Mark and Meredith arrived, Izzie spoke up. "Guessing this isn't the intern table anymore?" She smiled to know that she wasn't mad, and she quickly received several laughs.

"Sorry Stevens. I still tell myself I'm 27 if it makes you feel any better." Mark grins, and Addison nearly chokes on our sprite.

"And acts like it too." she coughed before winking at him.

"Ha. Ha Montgomery. Funny!" Mark turned to Meredith with an open jaw. "Aren't you going to defend me?

"Well you know Mark.. it's all part of your.. charm." She tried to give him her best innocent smile.

"I am very charming." Mark grinned, deciding to be satisfied with what he could get.

"I think I'm going to be sick." George quickly stood up and left the table, leaving everyone laughing.

"Can't say I've gotten that reaction before."

"Maybe they were just never brave enough to tell you." Addison quipped back.

"Go get some coffee, Addi. Your fangs are scaring away the families." Mark laughed as a large family left the courtyard.

**baby is this love for real?  
let me in your arms to feel  
the beating of your heart, baby  
the beating of your heart, baby  
beating hearts baby  
baby is this love for real?  
beating hearts baby  
let me in your arms to feel  
beating hearts baby  
your beating heart, baby  
beating hearts baby  
the beating of your heart, baby**

Before she could respond, her pager went off. "Sorry guys. Gotta go." Addison offered everyone a small smile before picking up her tray.

"I'm coming with you." Alex grinned before leaving the table as well.

"They are going to an on-call room." Mark laughed as he watched Alex follow Addison's stride.

"She had a page!" Izzie insisted, not wanting to know about Alex's sex life.

"From him!" Mark responded, extending his arm to where Alex was sitting.

"He was playing with his pager." Meredith added, not being able to stop herself from laughing.

**you, you really got your hold on me  
you, you really got your hold on me  
you, you gotta get away from me  
cause you, you want nothing to do with me**

"She's not good for him." Izzie spoke, staring at a small speck of salad on the table, causing Meredith and Mark to glance at each other for a moment.

"What do you mean?" Meredith decided to tread slowly on this territory. She knew that Izzie and Alex had a iffy past, but she had no idea what Izzie still .. wanted him.

"She's just waiting for shepherd to take her back! He's going to get hurt." Izzie spoke with authority, making it hard for them to protest.

"I don't think there is going to be a Shepherd reunion, Stevens." Mark didn't want to go into it, but that was one thing he was pretty certain of.

"Because he confides in you so much." She instantly felt bad for saying it, but it was too late to do anything about it now.

"Point taken." Mark sighed, not willing to break Derek's trust- again.

"Izzie!" Meredith glared at her friend. "Why do you care? You broke him! You told him he was worse than a corpse!"

**baby is this love for real?  
let me in your arms to feel  
the beating of your heart, baby  
the beating of your heart, baby  
beating hearts baby**

**baby is this love for real?  
beating hearts baby  
let me in your arms to feel  
beating hearts baby  
your beating heart, baby  
beating hearts baby  
the beating of your heart, baby**

Mark placed a hand on Meredith's back for comfort. He wasn't sure why, but he had a feeling that wasn't just about Alex.

"He broke me first!" Izzie glared at Meredith before standing up and walking away from the table.

"Well this was an interesting lunch." Mark tried to lighten the mood, but it was pretty obvious he failed.

"Sorry Mark." Meredith whispered, offering a small smile in his direction.

**in spite of you of you  
even out of view  
still I love all of you  
i do, yeah  
in spite of you  
even out of view  
still I love all of you  
i do, yeah  
you want nothing to do with me  
you, you want nothing to do with me  
baby is this love for real  
let me in your arms to feel  
your beating heart, baby  
the beating of your heart, baby**

"No need for apologies. I know what it's like to want someone you shouldn't." He grabbed onto her hand before speaking again. "Worked out pretty well for me."

"Me too." She smiled softly at their intertwined hands until she heard a familiar sound behind her, someone clearing their throat.

Mark looked up first, and frowned before looking back into Meredith's eyes. "I'm going to go get a water. Want anything?"

Meredith nodded her head quickly, hoping that he'd return quickly. "Water please."

"Hey Mer.." Derek spoke softly as he sat down in the seat beside her, where Izzie had been sitting before she left.

"Hi."

**Once again, being shameless! What do ya think:) Any thing is better than nothing :D  
**


	14. How Long

**Thanks guys! Reviews make this story so much fun to write since I know that you guys like where it's going! I got more reviews for last chapter than any chapter in this story so far! In fact, I got twice the average! I HEART YA'LL!!!! Song is How Long by Hinder. (my favorite band at the moment- and they were just here in concert and I missed it. And so I'm a little upset about that! haha. Sorry. Rambling. Enjoy!) P.S sorry about the Hi' ending. This is the last part I have written, and I was trying to wait to post it because I'm going to be gone next week. But I just feel so bad leaving it that way!  
**

Before Derek sat down, he'd had a whole speech prepared. He was going to ask her to go with him. Make her see how happy they could be together, but by the time he sat down beside her, and watched her face fall when Mark walked away, he knew he couldn't do that. She was already happy. It was time for him to accept that.

"How are you?" He asked, and despite all evidence to the contrary, he hoped she would tell him she was miserable. It was a small ray of light in his rather dark vision of this conversation, and it was quickly shattered by the bright smile she casted his direction.

"I'm good." She smiled as she turned towards him. "How are you?"

**Why'd you go and break what's already broken  
I try to take a breath but I'm already choking  
How long till this goes away  
I try to remember to forget you  
But I break down every time I do  
It's left me less than zero  
Beat down and bruised  
I can't see him with you  
Why'd you go and break what's already broken  
I try to take a breath but I'm already choking  
Cause everywhere I look I can see how you hold him  
How long till this goes away**

He thought he'd be upset, distraught even at the declaration that Mark was really making her happy. He thought he would break down to tears, but it was a completely different feeling. He just smiled at her, because despite how much he wanted her to say otherwise, he already knew that this was different than any other relationship Mark had been with. Probably even different than any Meredith had been as well. He'd betrayed her, knowingly overlooking the fact that he was married when he began their fling. A fling- it had such a lack of meaning to itself, but it is what it was. They never got to make rules. They weren't really a couple, and that was partly why this was so hard. He didn't know if it could work out with them together, but he'd wanted to try so badly. "I'm.. I'm good." He lied, casting a small smile in her direction, attempting the look one last time before he told her the news.

She let out a small laugh at his gaze before turning back towards the table. "I'm glad, Derek." Her eyes scanned the courtyard for signs of Mark. Not finding any, she turned towards Derek once again. "Haven't talked to you in awhile."

His smile fell as his eyes found his hands. "Yeah, I know. Which is what makes this so hard. Because I don't want to tell you, because it will make it real. And even though it is actually really good news, it- well, I just don't want to tell you. But I have to because by tomorrow it will be all over the hospital."

"Derek!" She placed a hand on his forearm to stop his rambling. He looked up quickly at her as she gave him a smile. "It's okay if you're seeing someone else. I mean.. you deserve happiness."

He wished it was as simple as him having a new girlfriend, but it wasn't even close. He shook his head for a moment before continuing. "I'm leaving, Meredith."

**I can't seem to get my heart over you  
Cause you creep into everything I do  
And now I'm dying to know  
How he touches you  
I can't see him with you  
Why'd you go and break what's already broken  
I try to take a breath but I'm already choking  
Cause everywhere I look I can see how you hold him  
How long till this goes away  
How long till this goes away  
She said she wants to be friends  
I took a big step back  
She said  
She said  
She said she's sorry  
With one finger  
I said f' that**

It was pretty obvious by the look on her face that she didn't know. Lying had never been Meredith's strong suit. Mark could take a secret to his grave, unfortunately some secrets Derek couldn't handle.

"You're moving?" She forcefully swallowed the lump in her throat to speak. In a way, she knew that when he left, she wouldn't feel guilty about her feelings for Mark, but at the same time, he would be gone. And whether is he was a shadow in the distance, or a forefront player, Meredith could barely remember her life without Derek's presence.

"I'm going to be Chief in a hospital in Boston." It was the happiest she'd seen him in months. After all, he was going to be Chief.

"Derek! That's amazing! Congratulations." Her smile brightened considerably at him. "I'm happy for you. Really."

Ouch, he thought. He'd expected sadness- tears even. Sure he saw a flash of pain in her eyes, but she looked happy. HAPPY. To see him go across the country. Guess it's easy to handle when you got someone to comfort you five minutes later.

"Thanks Mer." He smiled sadly at her. Shaking his head, he decided to give it one more shot. It couldn't be worse than it already was. "You're happy here, right? I mean you are happy and content with your life? I swear Meredith, you can come finish up in Boston. I'll be the Chief, and you can scrub in on all the best surgeries."

Meredith smiled as she shook her head. "Because that wouldn't be inappropriate at all." She laughed lightly before continuing. "Derek.. I think it's great that you are getting your dream. I do, but I.. I'm happy here. My life is here.. and.." She trailed off, not wanting to torture him more than necessary.

"Mark?" He finished her sentence in complete defeat. He knew it was a bad idea to ask. He didn't even want her to confirm it. It just slipped out. And maybe a part of him, a very small, microscopic even, part of him was looking out for Mark. At least that's what he was going to tell himself when he was beating himself up later for asking.

"Yeah." She smiled softly at him. "He makes me happy, Derek."

He wanted to tell her that he could make her happy too, but there was a certain glint of happiness in her eyes that he'd never seen before. He'd let her down before she got that far. "You deserve the moon and the stars, and the sparkles of the clearest oceans. I hope you know that."

Meredith didn't know what to say, so she simply smiled at him and nodded. "Thanks Derek. You're.. you're a good friend."

He visibly winced at the word. Being friends had led them nowhere but sex in an exam room at prom- not that he was complaining. "Friends?" He raised an eyebrow slightly, not being able to hold that one in.

"We were friends!" She nodded her head convincingly at him. "We can be friends."

**I can tell you're lying when your lips move  
Cause of one lie it's not me it's you  
It's left me less than zero  
Beat down and bruised  
I can't see him with you  
Why'd you go and break what's already broken  
I try to take a breath but I'm already choking  
Cause everywhere I look I can see how you hold him  
How long till this goes away  
Why'd you go and break what's already broken  
I try to take a breath but I'm already choking  
Cause everywhere I look I can see how you hold him  
How long till this goes away  
How long till this goes away  
She said she wants to be friends  
I took a big step back  
She said  
She said  
She said she's sorry  
With one finger  
With one finger  
I said f' that**

"No we can't, Meredith. That's why I'm leaving." Derek sighed , grabbing onto one of hands with both of his. "I wish you.. all the hapiness and the shooting stars in the world. I do. You deserve it all, but I .. I can't be here when you get them with him."

His eyes were locked on their hands, and when he finally raised them to meet her eyes, they were welling with tears. "Please don't cry, Mer.." He fought off his own tears as he wiped off a single that'd fallen down onto her cheeks. By then her eyes were past him, and he knew then that Mark was returning. He released her hand before standing up.

"What the hell did you do, Shepherd?" Mark growled as he leaned down in front of Meredith, cupping her face into his hands. "You okay, babe?" Once she nodded convincingly, Mark stood back up to face Derek. "You took it, huh?"

Derek simply nodded his head. "Leave in a week." He sighed as he bowed his head. "You better take damn good care of her, Mark." Derek glared before turning around and walking away.

Once Derek was out of the courtyard, Mark turned back towards Meredith, pulling her to her feet and into his arms. "It's alright, babe. It's alright." He whispered as he wrapped his arms tightly around her waist.

"Thanks." She whispered meekly as she buried her head into his neck.

**What ya think?**

** And since I'm going to be gone for a week, I feel the need to do a preview of whats ahead. (Something I've never done before! Mostly because I have no idea if you guys want to know or not!)**

**Actually. I'll just say that drama is up ahead for Addex. Lots of drama. I haven't written what's next for MerMark so I don't have any news, but I'm pretty sure things are going to get a little better before anything dramatic happens. I THINK!  
**


	15. Criminal

**Hey guys! I'm finally back! I'm hoping this story hasn't been forgotten! lol Anyway, remember the warning about the Addex drama? Well that's what this chapter is about. Advance apologies! Let me know what you think! Song is Criminal by Alexz Johnson. **

**I wont deny, I faked it  
don't wanna lie, I'm jaded  
I wanna scream, Inside I'm breaking down**

It'd been a week since Derek's flight for Boston, and a day longer than that since Addison had found herself here. She didn't even know if he was home or alone for that matter. She'd lived up to her name in the last few days, and the guilt had finally become overwhelming. He didn't deserve it, and she didn't deserve him. So here she was, standing at the door of his apartment, too afraid to knock. She wanted to just wait until tomorrow to talk to him at work, but that just seemed convenient, and too impersonal. It's amazing how many different times you can talk yourself out of knocking on a door in a span of five minutes. Stalker came to mind more than once, needy, annoying, uninvited, unwelcomed. All very good points, she thought.

She lifted her arm for the eighteenth time, at least that's what she thought, but it was very possible she didn't count a few of them purely out of self pity. Eighteen sounded better than twenty five, which if she was truthful with herself, is the number she was actually on. Addison had never been good with being truthful with herself though, so eighteen it was. Her knuckles would have even made contact with the door this time, if it didn't open instead. Her eyes, which were puffy and red from crying, quickly met Alex's, which quickly went from surprise to worry. She found it odd that he used to be a complete mystery to her, and now she could tell, if she really tried, what he was thinking just by looking in his eyes.

"Addison?" Alex spoke first, after ending the call he was having on his cellphone without even so much as a goodbye. "What are you doing here?" Addison's eyes finally took in his appearance, and it was easy to see that he'd been planning on going out. He looked nice. In fact, she was certain he was wearing the same outfit the night she first slept with him. At least the shirt. Everything else was a bit hazy. And his smell. She could lose herself in the smell of his cologne.

Taking a deep breath, mostly just to fill her mind with the smell, she attempted to speak, but it only came out in a mutter, something to the effect of she should be leaving, before turning around and heading for the elevator. Unfortunately, the doors were closed, so it was pretty easy for him to catch up with her. "Addi..." Alex spoke softly, grabbing onto her hand, and bringing her back inside his apartment. "Talk to me, baby." He cooed as he sat down on the couch, easily pulling her into his lap as he made quick work to wipe away the tears that were once again making their way down her cheeks.

"I.. I'm sorry, Alex." She whispered softly into his ear before leaving butterfly kisses along his jawline before crashing onto his lips. She just wanted him to forget how stupid she'd been. She wanted to forget herself how stupid she'd been. "I'm so sorry." She continued once he pulled away from the kiss, she was guessing for air.

Alex finally managed to grab a hold of her hands and lean back so that he could see her face. "What happened, Addi? I thought.. I mean.. I was under the impression.. I thought we were okay. But all of a sudden, I was like the plague."

Addison quickly shook her head at him to try to explain, knowing she'd have to verbally soon before he lost his patience with her.

**I've left the stone, I was under  
I'm running home, you won't find her  
She walks alone, all through this broken town**

"I don't deserve you, Alex." She whispered softly. "I don't deserve for you to hold me like this and make me better. I don't.. I deserve any of this. I'm.. I'm no good for you."

"You deserve fifty seven of me, babe. That's why I haven't came to your place. I.. I thought you wanted more."

"I'm broken, Alex. I'm divorced and broken and.. I'm no good for you." She couldn't tell him what she'd done, because she couldn't face it. She didn't even know how it'd happened. He'd showed up at her place talking about regrets, and about going to Boston on a clean slate. It was supposed to just be a goodbye kiss. Quick and innocent. But it was so familiar. How she craved something familiar. He was gone when she woke up the next morning, and she was left with nothing but the realization that she'd made another ginormous mistake. Derek had a tendency to make her do that.

"You're perfect for me." He smiled at her as he cupped her face. "You're perfect."

**Going the wrong way down a one way street  
Where the feeling is criminal  
Nobody helps me out when I bleed  
(just look, look)  
Looking for someone like me  
Where the feeling is mutual  
Can anybody see what I see  
Cause I don't see me**

"Please don't say that." she pleaded softly, avoiding his gaze as she unintentionally compared, and contrasted, Alex's hold on her to Derek's, and if she wanted to really be honest with herself, to Mark's as well. The only two other men she'd ever been with. She couldn't help it, she didn't want to. Her mind was just racing. For example, Derek tended to keep his distance when they were in an arguement, or when an arguement was inevitable. Of course, he yelled so loud that it didn't matter how far away he was. And Mark, well Mark was a true believer in never going to sleep mad. They called it make up sex for a reason. Mark rarely yelled at her, but he rarely needed to. She chastised herself enough for the both of them. He'd stay close, but he would never hold her during a moment like this, unless she was crying. If she was crying, his wall would crumble to nothing as he swooped her into his arms to soothe her. The make up sex always followed soon after that. They were never good at talking things about verbally. But Alex surprised her. She'd expected him to be a yeller like Derek, and a soother like Mark, but he wasn't. Yes, he was soothing her, but just to get her to talk to him. It was a completely surreal moment, and she didn't quite know how to take it, because for the first time in her life, she didn't want to talk. She wanted to be yelled at, or kiss the problem away. Talking was not something she was looking forward to.

**I'll blow away these ashes  
I'll clear his face, to look at it  
He stole my name, while I wait in lost and found**

_She wasn't expecting anyone. Alex was going out with the interns. She was actually kinda relieved to have a night to herself. To relax and get some rest. Mark had even called her and asked her if she wanted to go see a movie or something, but she declined because as much as she missed being friends with Mark, she really need a night to herself. So, needless to say, when there was a knock on her door, she was a little hesitant to open it. She'd just gotten out of the shower, in fact the steam hadn't even disappeared from the mirror that she was standing in front of yet. Dressed in only her pink bath robe, with a matching towel in her hair, she reluctantly left the steam filled room to answer the door. _

_He was the last person she expected. She hadn't even spoken to him since he told her about Boston. She wasn't even sure why he told her. Hell, he didn't even tell her he went to Seattle, and they were married then. So, when she saw him through the peekhole, she had to wonder slightly if he knew where he was at, or he was incredibly drunk. Or both. She sighed as she ran her fingers underneath her eyes. She wasn't sure why since she'd just gotten out of the shower, but it just seemed reasonable at the moment. She checked the hole once again, just to make sure she wasn't seeing things. He was still there. Finally shaking herself out of the surprise, she opened the door just enough to show her face in the opening._

_"Derek?" She spoke softly once she noticed the tear stains on his cheeks, and the puffiness that surrounded his eyes. The little bit of residual feelings she had for him suddenly flowed forth as she opened the door further to allow him to enter. "What's wrong?" She fought the urge to use any pet name, because that would be admitting that the feelings were stronger than she would ever admit. They were married for twelve years!_

_Derek didn't even offer a response as he made his way further into her apartment, one he'd never been into. It only took him a moment to find the kitchen. He immediately darted to the cabinet to the left of the sink, which they both knew is where Addison kept her hard liquor. Finding what he was looking for in the very far corner of the cabinet, hidden behind several bottles of vodka, he smiled as he brought the scotch to his lips, not even bothering to find a glass. _

_Addison wasn't surprised that Derek was drinking, she just didn't know why he was at her apartment, or even how he knew where she lived for that matter. "What are you doing here?" She asked more forcefully, and still receiving no response, she decided that the old saying was going to be her strategy at this moment. If you can't beat them, join them. So that's what she did. She slowly walked over from the entrance to the kitchen, and grabbed a bottle of the vodka for herself, taking a large chug of it before walking out of the kitchen, down the hallway to the living room. If he wasn't going to talk, she wasn't either. After all, it's what the last year of their marriage was like anyway. Why not? _

_It was at least half an hour before their silence was broken, and surprisingly the inevitable was brought on by Derek. "Why don't you care?" _

_Unfortunately, by then, Addison had consumed at least three fourths of the once full bottle of vodka when he spoke, so she wasn't exactly at her peak of interpretation skills. She eyed him for a moment before even attempting to respond. "I'm afraid I don't know what you're talking about." She smiled before letting out a small laugh at herself. Alcohol had that effect on her. She always thought she was funny. Which is why she'd sworn it off at least five times. But here she was. Promises were meant to be broken. Like wedding vows, for instance. Who the hell knows what they mean anymore? She never understood the point of renewing vows until about ten years in. The memories of their wedding wasn't the only thing fading in her mind. She'd even brought up the idea of renewing them once, Derek simply laughed it off, bringing up the fact that they barely have time to see each other, much less to plan and have a wedding. That was two months before he left for Seattle. She's tried so hard to stay dedicated to him. _

_"Mark and Meredith. Why don't you care?" For the first time since he'd arrived, he looked directly into Addison's eyes. What irritated him the most was the fact that she seemed clearly confused. Like why would she care? She threw away their marriage for him, surely she cared somewhat for him. Okay, so their marriage was already dead, but damn it .If it wasn't for her, he'd never met Meredith, and he would never feel the pain that he was feeling right then. _

_"Because he's happy." Addison spoke softly, hoping not to cause a fight, she was too tired, and a little too drunk to argue about someone else's relationship. "He deserves to be happy." She nodded her head in confirmation as she stared at the TV, even though it wasn't even on. She'd hurt Mark more times than she'd care to admit, and he deserved someone who wasn't going to constantly compare him to something he could never be, and never wanted to be. _

_"But I could make her happy, I have made her happy!" He sighed as he looked at Addison in clear desperation for help. "I made you happy, right?"_

_Addison couldn't even bring herself to look at him before taking another chug from the bottle, closing her eyes as the clear liquid made it's way down her throat. She was hoping that maybe if she didn't answer, the alcohol would make him forget his question, but it was clear after several more moments that he was going to wait until he got the answer. Giving in, she turned towards him, grabbing onto his nearest hand. _

_"Derek.. What do you want me to say? We're here aren't we? Divorced." She wanted to add in love with different people, but that would bring up way too many conversations that she wasn't ready to have with anyone- especially Derek. _

_"But at one point. Right?" He rephrased his question, hoping to get a different answer, but quickly realized that she wasn't going to offer him anything he wanted to hear._  
**  
**_"I know you tried." she whispered, not even really speaking to him at all. Mostly to herself. That didn't stop him from hearing her though. _

_"Addi..." He whimpered, but was caught off by the raising of her hand._

_"Don't." She shook her head as their conversation in the courtyard filtered her mind. "I was never enough.. I ge.." She was cut off the crashing of his lips onto hers, and all her thoughts simply disappeared. It didn't even occur to her that it shouldn't be happening. It didn't slip into her mind that he most likely was pretending she was Meredith, nor did she think about how it would inevitably ruin her new relationship with Alex. None of that mattered because he was Derek, and she was Addison, and suddenly all she could remember is what it felt like to be Derek and Addison._

_By the time Derek had drifted to sleep, Addison's mind was going full throttle. She'd just had sex with Derek! DEREK! Sure she was drunk, but DEREK! Why couldn't she have told him to get off of her? Why didn't she mention Alex? Why was she such a dumb ass, she chastised herself harshly as she turned to face the wall, away from Derek, being sure to hide any exposed skin with the sheets on her bed, which she quickly realized she was going to have to burn, no matter how much she loved them. _

_She finally convinced herself that when he woke up, she would make him promise to pretend it never happened. It was the alcohol talking. Not them. Not that Derek had a whole lot to lose considering he was leaving the next day, but damn it, she had a lot to lose. She finally dosed off after she reached into her bedside drawer and smelled the bottle of Alex's cologne. _

_Of course, when she woke up the next morning, all signs of Derek were gone. The other side of her bed had even been made as best as possible considering someone was sleeping on the other half, the two bottles that'd been placed carelessly on the living room table were gone. In fact, the only thing that reminded her it was real was the incredible hang over that was causing her head to feel like it was being pressed in a bailer and the fact that she was naked. Her robe had even been neatly hung on the bathroom door as if it had been discarded there herself. _

_As soon as she realized there was no evidence that the accident occurred, Addison quickly threw on some sweats and practically tore the sheets off the bed, immediately discarding them out the window of her eighth floor apartment. She watched in amusement as it floated to the ground, much like, at least she told herself, her feelings for her ex husband. _

**I found a place, where I'll keep you  
Cause I won't live through you or beneath you  
I'll walk this way, where these winds wont bring me down**

"You slept with Shepherd?" Alex's voice was unsettling low and steady, and his hands fell from her waist, and his feet's firm grasp on on the ground quickly loosened, causing her to have to catch herself from a fall. She'd expected anger, yelling, hatred, not rational speaking, and... numbness.

"I'm so so sorry, Alex." She whispered, trying and inevitably failing to come up with some sort of excuse or reason as to why she'd done it- besides the alcohol. But there weren't any except that she apparently couldn't let herself be happy.

"You should go." He merely whispered, not even bothering to look her way.

Addison was forced to swallow the lump in her throat as she realized that she would much rather be yelled at than this. Even though she could faintly hear the hurt in his voice, by no means was it evident, nor was he showing any signs of it affecting him the way the guilt was affecting her. "Alex.." She sighed his name, and silently ached when she received no response. She couldn't bring herself to move so she simply stood there, staring at him, tears running down her cheeks, all of which went unnoticed by Alex.

**don't, let it be  
Save it all, don't waste it on me  
Cause if I take a chance  
And if I hurt again  
And if I let you in, could be my reckoning**

She continued to watch as he fumbled with his cellphone in his hands, tossing it back and forth between his hands, simultaneously shaking his head with it. "I can't believe she was right. She warned me, and I completely dismissed it. For some unearthly reason, I trusted YOU over one of my BEST friends. Why the hell did I do that?"

Addison had a feeling he was talking about Izzie, the only intern that Alex really trusted. Well there was Meredith, at least to some degree, but for some reason she didn't think that Meredith really cared what was happening in their relationship. Surprisingly, she'd yet to go after Alex, unlike Addison's original thoughts on the subject. Good thing she didn't make that bet with anyone. "Warning? What warning?" She asked, hoping that he would confirm or dismiss her beliefs.

"She said you were just waiting for a reunion with him. She told me to be careful. But what do I do? I just become a complete moron! I trusted you! I don't trust ANYONE!" He continued to rant, his voice getting louder and louder as he continued, and Addison was relieved. Anger was better than nothing. Anger she could work with. Anger faded away, Indifference was another story. "Why did I trust you?"

Once again, the yelling melted into a bare whisper, causing her to step forward, despite whether it was a good idea or not. "I don't know what to say Alex, except that I'm so incredibly sorry! I mean I swear the last thing I ever wanted to do was hurt you, but you knew in the beginning of this that was I was BROKEN! But.. I love you, Alex! OK? I love you! In a completely different way than I ever loved Derek. I have to smell your cologne to fall asleep at night, and no matter how many blankets are on my bed, I'm never quite warm enough if your arm isn't draped across my waist. I just.. I love you, Alex."

"I.. I have to go." Alex mumbled as he quickly stood up, stuffing the phone into his pocket, before disappearing into another room for a jacket. He only stopped momentarily on the way out the door to look at Addison. "You know you're way out."

**Let me know what you guys think! Too harsh? Not so much? **

**Next chap hopefully will be up by Friday at the latest!  
**


	16. She Is

**Hey guys! I was heavily medicated on pain pills when I wrote 3/4ths of this chapter. So if there is more rambling than you like, this is my advance apology! I barely got any reviews last chapter, so I'm hoping ya'll are still reading! This is by far the longest chapter I've posted. I even considered breaking it into two, but I think it needs to be together. So Yeah. This is the MerMark chapter you've all been waiting for! Enjoy! And please let me know what you think! Like I said.. since it's so long, I spent like a good 6-7 hours on it! (throughout a 2 day period!)  
**

**Do not get me wrong,  
I cannot wait  
for you to come home.  
For now you're not here  
And I'm not there  
It's like we're on our own.  
To figure it out,  
Consider how  
To find a place to stand.  
Instead of walking away and  
Instead of nowhere to land.  
This is going to break me clean in two.  
This is going to bring me close to you.  
She is everything I need that I never knew I wanted.  
She is everything I want that I never knew I needed.  
It's all up in the air  
And we stand  
Still to see what comes down.  
I don't know where it is,  
I don't know when,  
But I want you around.  
When it falls into place  
With you and I,  
We go from if to when.  
Your side and mine are both  
Behind its indication.  
This is going to bring me clarity.  
This'll take the heart right out of me.  
She is everything I need that I never knew I wanted.  
She is everything I want that I never knew I needed.  
This is going to bring me to my knees.  
I just want to hold you close to me.  
She is everything I need that I never knew I wanted.  
She is everything I want that I never knew I needed.**

**She Is, The Fray**

All the lights in the house were off when Mark pulled into the driveway after work. Meredith had the day off, and he refused to accept how much he'd missed her. Things had been better than ever, which was part of the problem. Things never stayed perfect for him. He was just waiting to walk in one day and for her to tell him it was over, that he wasn't worth her time anymore. What was worse is that he didn't know what he'd do if or when that happened. He'd never counted on anyone to be there at the end of the day like Meredith. He had loved Addison, but she never could stop comparing him to Derek, and so he never quite believed that she was his. Maybe she wasn't. Meredith had never made him feel inferior to her, or Derek for that matter. It scared a part of him to have good expectations of him, but at the same time he lived to make her happy. A smile crossed his features as he looked up at the window to her bedroom to find that she was looking at him, offering a small wave in his direction.

He returned it before directing his attention to the keys in the ignition, effectively turning off the song on the radio as it escaped the hole only to be stuffed in his pocket. Once satisfied that they'd stay, he unbuckled his seatbelt and extended his arm to the passenger seat, picking up the half dozen purple lilies he'd picked up for her. His eyes traveled up to the window one more time, and was slightly saddened that she was no longer standing there, even though he wanted to surprise her with the flowers. He hated not being able to see her, to make sure she was okay. It was that same instinct that forced his hand to open the door, allowing him to slip out of the car with little to no difficulties.

Before he even made it to the stairwell, the front door swung open, and once again he was disappointed when it wasn't Meredith. It was Izzie and George. If he didn't know any better, he would think they were running. But he'd seen them dash across the hospital in moments, therefore they were obviously just being forced out. "Hey guys..." He managed to hide the smile on his face as they stopped in front of him. "Got a hott date?" Even though he laughed at his own joke, they did not. In fact, the only acknowledgment he got from them was George's scrunched nose from confusion, and a roll of Izzie's eyes. "Alright then. Nice talking to you two. Really. We should do it more often." Truthfully, they rarely spoke to him unless Meredith was around. Not that that happened very often, mostly just times like this. But still. Well Izzie anyway. George didn't really talk to him at all. Not that he blamed him. Apparently, Torres still doesn't want him back. He probably blames him. Seriously. It was one time. The guy needs to get over it. Apparently, after his dad was released from the hospital after his heart attack, Torres got tired of him moping around the hospital pretending to need her comforting. She suggested spending a weekend with his dad, instead. Apparently he didn't get the hint.

He finally attempted to move past them after several moments of silence but was pulled back by Izzie, who seemed just as surprised as he did at the encounter. "Something I can do for you, Stevens?" He asks with a slightly amused grin on his face when he realizes that her grasp on his forearm has yet to be released. He didn't really get her. It was obvious she was a hopeless romantic, and hell he would be lying if he said he hadn't seen her in at least one magazine, she was hott. He didn't understand why she was single. It wasn't even his kind of single, she didn't even seem to sleep around. It was like she was.. Celibate. Not that he had any room to talk, he hadn't had sex in months, but it wasn't because he didn't want to! He'd heard ramblings about her and a patient back before he moved here, and he assumed that had something to do with it. But damn. Mourning can only go so far.

"Um.. Dr. Sloan.." Izzie began but was cut off by Mark.

"Stevens, we practically eat breakfast together every morning, do you really need to call me Dr. Sloan?" He couldn't help but laugh. He expected it from George, but not particularly from her. At least not at the house. As long as she could see the need to be professional at work, he didn't feel the need to be that formal outside of the hospital.

Izzie glanced awkwardly between him and George before shrugging her shoulders. "I guess not." She shook her head, trying to get her thought process back before she lost his attention. She was supposed to be meeting Alex at Joe's, but she also knew that Meredith had been working hard all day, and all she needed was like five more minutes. Alex could wait five minutes. "I.. I.. I was just wondering.. Who your favorite intern was." She flashed him a hearty grin, even though she knew it was pretty much the stupidest question she could have asked him, considering he wasn't dating just any intern, but Meredith Grey, Ellis Grey's daughter. And even if Izzie didn't like to admit it a lot, Meredith lived up to her name well at work. She was a good doctor. A great doctor even.

Mark chuckled loudly at the question as he searched for the joke in her eyes, after finding none, his laughter died down. "Seriously Stevens? You do know why I come here, right?"

"To see me, of course!" she batted her eyelashes playfully to show she was kidding, and hopefully make him forget that she asked him that.

"Exactly." He nodded in agreement with an equally playful smile on his face. "Alright.. Well, see you guys.. Sometime." He offered a faint wave in their direction before heading for the porch steps.

Izzie watched helplessly as he walked away, not being able to think of anything else to stop him. She nudged George's shoulders rather roughly indicating that it was his turn to stop him. She'd made a fool of herself enough for one night. George immediately sent her a death glare, but eventually he stumbled towards Mark until he was within arms reach of him. "Um.. Mark?" The name sounded foreign coming from his mouth, but he ignored the thought as Mark turned around to face him, probably just as thrown off by the name as George was.

"Yeah?" Mark responded, losing more and more patience with the two since he was ready to get inside and see Meredith. He wanted to see her eyes sparkle, hopefully, when she saw him, and then again when she got the flowers.

George quickly realized, a little late, that he had nothing to say to him, and considering he despised the attending, there wasn't anything he wanted to know. He quickly glanced back behind him to Izzie who was already making her way to the car. Silently cursing her underneath his breath, he met Mark's gaze.

"Is there something going on that I should be worried about? Is someone else here? You never talk to me." Mark was quickly growing nervous at the possibility. She'd been seeing someone else! How hadn't he known! He was with her practically all the time! Surely he hadn't missed any signs. He was good at signs. Hell he invented half of them. The longer George stood nervously before him unresponsive, the more Mark felt the urge to puke. When he thought about it ending, he didn't think it was going to be today! He wasn't ready! "Talk! Damn it O'Malley!"

"Nothing is going on!" George finally blurted out. Quickly stepping up on the stairs to block Mark's path. Sure, Mark could easily rid him of his path, but at least he'd tried. "I.. I just wanted to know if you ever talked to Callie." That wasn't a complete lie, he reasoned. She wasn't talking to him, so it was possible she was talking to Sloan.

"Torres? You're blocking the door to talk about Torres? Man, you gotta move on. I don't talk to her, but seriously, if she isn't talking to you by now, have some self respect." Mark frowned slight before patting George's shoulder. "Sorry." He added once he was confronted with the infamous Bambi pout.

Before George could respond, the front door opened slightly, just enough for Meredith to stick her head through the hole with a smile on her face. "Hey you." She greeted him as he finally looked past George.

Mark almost dropped the flowers that were still being held behind his back when he saw her. Her makeup, even though there was a small distance between them, one that still included George, was flawless. She had black eyeliner outlining her upper and lower lids. And the green eye shadow highlighted her eyes beautifully, and even though it was barely noticeable, he could tell she was wearing a smidgen of blush on her cheeks to contrast with the bare shoulder he could see if he strained his eyes enough. Her hair was down, scrunched into almost spiral curls. In other words, she was breathtakingly beautiful. Literally. After a moment, he had to force himself to breath through a cough, his own cheeks blushing from slight embarrassment.

"Hey you!" he mimicked her words with a little bit of effort before realizing that George was still in his way.

"Oh! Right!" George chuckled uncomfortably when he realized that he, too, had been staring at Meredith. "I.. I'm going to go now. Yeah. Bye Mer.." George forced himself to swallow as he turned to Mark with jealous eyes. "Mark."

Mark didn't even bother to acknowledge his departure as he closed the distance between himself and Meredith, a grin seemingly irreplaceable set on his lips. "I missed you today, babe." He spoke softly as he made his way inside the doorway, just enough to pull her in his arms, and to block O'Malley's wondering eye of her. She was his, and as far as he was concerned, no one else should see her like this except him. After he finally pulled away, he glanced down at her outfit in full for the first time. His throat went dry, and even though he wasn't sure, he would probably bet his jaw was touching the floor. He was correct before when he assumed her shoulders were bare. In fact. Most of her body was bare. With the exception of a corsette style strapless bra that stopped way before her abs began on the bottom, and didn't even particularly cover all of her breasts, and matching underwear, nothing else was blocking his view from her goddess-like body. He tried his best to get his eyes to travel back up to meet her gaze, but he couldn't, too afraid that when he looked back down, it would all be just a dream.

"Mer..." He said breathlessly as his hands made their way to her waist to pull her closer. He closed his eyes for a moment as he kissed her forehead. "Not that you don't look absolutely stunning, baby, and believe me, you do, but why all this?" He smiled lovingly at her as his hands traveled up to cup her face. "You're beautiful all the time." He couldn't stop smiling as she brought him down towards her for a kiss.

Once they finally pulled away, Mark realized that he did, in fact, drop the flowers this time. Blushing as he bent over to pick them up, he handed them to her. "These are for you, by the way."

Meredith smiled as she buried her nose into the flowers. "I love them. Thank you, Mark." She walked slowly to the kitchen, making sure he was following her before she turned the corner.

By the time Mark shook himself out of the daze, Meredith had already placed the flowers in a pink vase that had already filled with water as well. "I was starting to worry there was glue on your shoes in there." She grinned at him before setting the vase on the kitchen table.

Mark couldn't bring himself to speak. Very few women were confident enough to walk around their house in what she was wearing when others were around. Especially of the opposite sex. Not that there was a centimeter of unpleasant skin on her body, but most women tend to think there is. She just keeps him amazed at her every day. "You didn't answer my question, ya know? I didn't forget... completely." He added the last part with a sheepish grin.

She returned the smile before walking towards him and pulling him towards her another kiss for another kiss. "You smell good." She grinned as she pulled away, taking one of his hands into both of hers.

"Well you don't smell too bad yourself, babe. Or taste for that matter." He grinned as a soft giggle escaped her lips. She walked backwards, facing him, out of the kitchen to the stairs.

"Upstairs?" Mark fought hard to keep his voice from squeaking like a little boy who just hit puberty. He was Mark Sloan - an infamous man whore. Mark Sloan did not get nervous about sex. He was more confident in sex than he was in the OR, and that was pretty damn confident.

When they reached the stairs, Meredith brought his fingertips to her lips, enabling her to gently kiss each and every one of them softly and slowly, watching in complete amusement as Mark's eyes grew dark, almost so much that she forgot what she was doing before she reached the eighth finger. But she quickly shook out of it, and continued. Once she'd convinced herself that each had been given equal amount of attention, having to return to a few of them to be sure, she released his hands from her grasp.

For the first time, Mark's gaze left Meredith's long enough to notice that there were 2 lit candles on each stair up until the very top. One on each end of the stair, but further enough from the railing to avoid a fire, if somehow forgotten. It was only then he realized just how much she was going to torture him that night. But damn if it wasn't going to be worth it. Mark watched in an utter loss of situational power as she slowly leaned over each candle on the first step, blowing each one out individually, being sure not to blow the one above it in the process.

She could feel his eyes watch her every move, and she'd be lying to say that it didn't feel good to be so obviously wanted. She could imagine how he felt though, because even though he was wearing his usual jeans and button down shirt. She had to force herself to not tear them off.

Mark's only lucid thought was that he wished he could go get the pink vase that was filled with water and just pour it quickly over all the candles, but he didn't think she would appreciate that, and being punished to sleeping on the floor that night was not something he thought he could handle considering what she was wearing. He would definitely have to go to his apartment, and even then he wasn't completely positive he could concentrate on driving enough to make it home safely. She was so cruel.

"Need some help?" He managed to ask in a hoarse voice when she'd only made it to the third step, fifth candle. A guy could only handle so much.

A small smile formed on her lips as she finally turned back around to face him. "Thought you'd never ask."

He breathed a sigh of relief as she gestured to the line of candles on the right side of the stairs. "One at a time, though." She grinned, not quite being able to let him ruin all of her fun. She'd worked hard all day, and she'd be damned if she was going to ruin it just because they were both unnaturally ready to make it to the bed. Neither of them had ever been good at keeping their clothes on, which is why she wanted that night to be so special. It was more than sex, it was an award ceremony. But he just had to work for the award. She almost felt bad for her plans, almost. But she could tell by his eagerness that he would do whatever she wanted, even if that meant listening. They both had the next day off, so she was in no rush. She was determined to enjoy every moment of this night. After all, the best things are worth waiting for.

Mark could have sworn an hour passed before they reached the last candle, but that could have had something to do with the fact that she kept distracting him. Was he really suppose to be able to concentrate when she was barely wearing under garments, much less clothes! She could at least let him level the playing field!

But no! He was still fully clothed! She hadn't even unbuttoned his shirt yet. He suddenly felt a strong urge for scotch. Hell, he'd even drink tequila at the moment, and he didn't even like tequila. He honestly couldn't remember the last time he'd had sex completely sober. It was slightly unnerving.

Once she was satisfied completely that each had been blown out carefully, she retook one of his hands in hers and pulled him down the upstairs hallway. Using her other hand to unbutton his shirt, a mischievous smile never leaving her features.

Mark had long ago set his concentration on making it to her bedroom, so needless to say he was slightly confused when she stopped him in front of the bathroom. It wasn't until that she opened the door that he realized she had a Hershey's kiss on the tip of her tongue. Looking further, he realized the hallway was lined with them. Unfortunately the line stopped at the bathroom. If he could have talked, he most likely would have whined, but he'd long ago given into that dry throat feeling, allowing her to torture him even more.

She smiled at him as she stood on her tiptoes to become eye level with him. "I'm not trying to kill you, I promise!" she giggled as he released a small groan, wrapping his arms firmly around her waist.

"I strongly disagree." He muttered hoarsely as he bear hugged her, pulling her feet off the ground before kissing her, tasting the remainder of the chocolate on her tongue.

"Entertain me for a little longer?" she pouted, and quickly received another groan, but this time was accompanied with a small nod. "I promise I'll make it up to you." She giggled, kissing him again before letting her feet touch the floor again.

Once she convinced herself that this was really what she wanted, compared to the alternative of going straight to the bedroom, Meredith pulled him further into the bathroom. It took just about every ounce of self control she had to stay put, especially after she'd removed both of his shirts, revealing his bare chiseled chest. She turned her attention to the bathtub, which was already full of hott water and the occasional rose bud mixed in with the bubbles.

She waited a moment to gain her composure before turning back around to face Mark, only to find that he had just as much clothes on as he had when she turned around. Quirking an eyebrow at him in amusement, she folded her arms across her chest before walking over to him, waiting for him to explain. He had more self control than she thought, and she was quickly starting to realize that he wasn't the only one that was going to get tortured by this detour. She should have known, it was Mark after all, but she refused to let him win that easily.

"Someone a little shy?" She smirked once she stopped in front of him, not being able to stop herself from wrapping her arms around his waist, inevitably rubbing her skin against his.

"You want me in there, you're gonna have to work for it." He chuckled as he cupped her face in the palm of his hands.

"Oh?" she giggled softly as she met his gaze, not quite being able to come up with any sort of comeback that wouldn't get her into even more trouble. "What'd you have in mind, exactly?"

"An eye for an eye" he mused back, as if it was common sense. For the first time since he'd arrived, Mark finally had some power in the situation, and he couldn't quite bring himself to give it up. He was a surgeon, surgeons always needed to be in control. And if this was the only way he was going to get it, then so be it. He had to have some amount of self control, or he wouldn't have lasted as long as he did in this relationship. What was another hour or so. Sure he'd give in eventually, but not until he had some fun of his own. He could tell by the look on her face that she knew she'd somehow lost control of the situation, and that made his smile get even bigger. "You know, bullying isn't very nice, Grey."

"But it's so fun!" She quipped back, refusing to lose all control. She'd worked hard on this all day, she couldn't lose that quickly. She wouldn't!

"Wanna know what else is fun?" he asked with his all knowing grin on his face.

The glint in his eyes almost made Meredith not want to know, but curiosity got the best of her. She simply raised an eyebrow in question, not being able to stop nibbling on her lower lip long enough to speak. She was still trying to figure out how she'd become the the tortured instead of the torturer.

"Taking baths alone." He chuckled, placing a small kiss on her forehead before heading for the doorway. He needed time to think and to process. He needed to figure out what caused this change. As much as he was enjoying it, he couldn't help but think it was because Derek was gone, and he wasn't sure if that was a good enough reason. It didn't hold up for him and Addison, so he had no reason to believe it would for him and Meredith.

Meredith's jaw dropped slightly as she watched him pull away. Luckily her arms worked faster than her speech because she caught him before she could even process a word. He stopped quickly when her hand grabbed onto his, but he didn't turn around to face her. So she quickly made her way between him and the doorway, shutting it behind her. "Not so fast." She managed to get out with a small smile before she intertwined both of their hands together, pulling them up so that they were in her line of vision when she met his gaze. Needless to say, this wasn't going as planned at all. In fact, she could feel the tears welling up behind her eyes, and tears were definitely not in her outline of the evening. "Please don't go." She whispered softly after she received no response from him.

"I.. I need answers." He sighed, knowing that he might possibly be ruining everything he'd worked so hard to get since he'd asked her to take a chance of him. This could easily break them, but he was hoping she would prove him wrong. How he prayed that he was wrong. Unfortunately life had only taught him to be skeptical. He was everything that Meredith shouldn't want, but damn if he hadn't tried so hard to be more than what she should want.

"Alright." Meredith nodded, knowing that she would eventually have to face the questions eventually, she'd just hoped it'd be later than sooner. She brought both of his hands to her lips and kissed them quickly before looking back into his eyes. "Ok. Bathtub then answers. Promise." She offered a faint smile as she released his hands so that hers could fall to the button on his jeans, looking back up at him one more time for confirmation. He simply nodded, and moments later, they were both in the tub, Mark's arms wrapped tightly around her small frame as she leaned her back against his chest. Once she was snuggled as close as possible into his embrace, she nodded her head, indicating that she was ready. She was expecting lots of questions, probably about Derek and how she felt about him, and possibly how she felt about Mark. She'd expected them to be demanding and specific and slightly terrifying. So when the seemingly simple one word question left his tongue and went directly into her right ear, she was relieved. Because even though it might be terribly embarrasing, atleast she knew the answer. She just hoped that it wouldn't scare him away. How she hoped it wouldn't send him running. "Why?"

She flipped onto her stomach slowly, trying not to send water all over the floor of the bathroom, or completely humiliate herself somhow in the process. Once she was steady, Mark held onto her hips to keep her into position as she looked up at him.

"Hi." She whispered softly, not sure why she said it, but it just seemed necessary considering their new closeness.

"Hi." He chuckled, and she could feel his chest vibrate against her own, reminding herself why she was doing this. Subject herself to complete and utter humiliation at the feet of Mark Sloan.

"So about your question." Meredith stumbled on her words for a moment, but relaxed as she felt his fingers gently massaging her waist for comfort. "You want to know why I'm doing this, right?" She asked, not even expecting an answer, but smiled none the less when he nodded in confirmation. Last time she'd done one of these, she'd been sad and desperate, and at a complete loss for options. That wasn't the case this time. She was happy, joyful even, and she knew that he would give her as much time as she needed. It wasn't like she was reduced to running into an scrub room before surgery, and then expecting him to show up at a bar later. No, this was definitely a new experience. Much better experience, she realized as she thought about exactly what she wanted- needed to say.

"Mark.. I.. I don't know know where I'd be right now if it wasn't for you." She smiled at her words, even though her eyes were now zoned in on his chest where both of her hands had settled at. "I don't know if I would even be in Seattle." She didn't bother to look up, because she wanted to explain before she saw his hurt expression. "Because if it wasn't for you, I'm sure I would shaken Derek's hand that night and would have tried it with him again. But like you said.. Derek.. Derek chose his life, and I.. I chose mine. I chose you. I didn't choose you because I didn't think you could hurt me, it's pretty obvious you could easily hurt me if you wanted, and I didn't choose you because I thought you were the next best thing to Derek. Besides for your obsession with ferry boats, you two don't really have anything in common as far as I'm concerned. It would even make sense for me to say that I chose you because you were the other dirty mistress, and it'd make sense for us to comfort each other. And that's probably true. But ever since we've started this, you haven't let me mope around when Derek made me feel like crap for liking you, and you didn't push me into anything that I wasn't ready for at all. You completely respected my rules, which let's face it, rules are a totally new thing for us."

She let out a small laugh as he lifted her chin with one of his fingers, a content smile on his face . "What I'm trying to say is.. you've been.. perfect. I know it seems like this is about Derek leaving, but it's not! I swear it's not. As far as I'm concerned, Derek was gone a long time ago. I mean sure a part of me misses him, but I'm okay without him. I.. I wouldn't be okay if you left, Mark. I just.. I wouldn't. I need you." Despite her best attempts, tears formed at the corners of her eyes. "I really hate needing people. When I need people, it never ends well. But I do. I need you, and it's completely 100 percent your fault!"

"Hey.. hey now, babe. No crying." Mark smiled softly at her,bringing his other hand out of the warm water to wipe her bangs out of her eyes, careful not to mess it or her makeup up. Not that they were going out, at least he hoped not. Now THAT would be cruel, but still. "It's okay." He whispered, leaning in for a kiss.

Once she pulled away, she began again. "What I'm trying to say, Mark, is that this is me saying this is it for me. You're it. I'm yours for as long as you'll have me."

"You know, I can be very greedy. Might not be good to tell me that." He grinned, trying to make her stop crying. He hated seeing her cry. It was so hard to watch.

"As long as I can be greedy too." She giggled as he shook his head.

"I don't know, Mer, that might ruin my image." He laughed, quickly tightening his grasp around her waist.

"Now that's a tragedy in the making." She grinned, unlocking his grip around her waist to get up.

"And where do you think you're going missy? You aren't even wrinkled yet. You can't call it a bubble bath if you don't get wrinkled and bubbly and suddsy." He pouted his lower lip slightly for effect as he watched her eyes dance in amusement.

"Well I don't know about you, Sloan, but I'm going to grab that towel over there." She smiled as she nodded her head to a stack of two towels on the floor beside them. "And I'm going go lay down. You can stay as long as you'd like with your... bubbles."

"Well towels are nice too." He reasoned quickly as he jumped out of the tub as soon as she'd made it out of the bathroom.

"That's what I thought." She called out from her room before quickly being swept off her feet, dropping her towel in the process, and being placed perfectly square on the bed.

"What happened to bubble time?" She squealed as he buried his face into her neck.

"Water was cold without you." He mumbled before turning off the lamps as another high pitched squeal echoed off the walls.

**You get the picture. :D**

**Anyway, let me know what you think!!!!!!!!!!!**


	17. There's Us

**Hey everyone! The reviews for last chapter made this so much easier to write than I thought it would be. Because I think this chapter is really important. It's Alex and Izzie at the bar. Anyway. You'll see what I mean. Please let me know what you guys thought! All the reviews for last chapter completely made my day- 2 days in a row! I'm so glad ya'll liked that chapter as much I did!**

**offnote on last chap. Someone mentioned it was a tad porny. I went back and re-read it, and it was even more than I remembered- so if I offended anyone, I'm REALLY sorry!**

**There's me, looking down at my shoes  
The one smiling like the sun, that's you  
What were you thinking  
What was the song inside your head  
There's us, going on about a band  
Working out how we play our hands  
I lay there dreaming, later on alone in my bed  
If I was stupid, maybe careless, so are you  
Not everything is supposed to come true  
Some words are best unsaid  
Some love is not really love at all  
I'll keep everything I shared with you  
and that's enough, there's us  
Freeze frame, I'm not about to cry  
It's too late for us to change, why try  
I've got a camera tucked away inside my heart  
If I'm a loser, or just unlucky, so are you  
Not everything is supposed to come true  
Some words are best unsaid  
Some love is not really love at all  
I'll keep everything I shared with you  
and that's enough, there's us  
Somewhere between then and now  
I looked away when you said we'll never change  
and if you think what might've been  
You'll lose today and we've got songs to play  
Not everything is supposed to come true  
Some words are best unsaid  
Some love is not really love at all  
I'll keep everything I shared with you  
and that's enough, there's us  
Not everything is supposed to come true  
Some words are best unsaid  
Some love is not really love at all  
I'll keep everything I shared with you  
and that's enough,  
there's us  
there's us  
there's us**

**Alexz Johnson**

The bell above the door rang loudly as Alex made his appearance, not that he noticed it as he made a mad dash for the bar, not even bothering to look for Izzie, who was his original reason for coming. He didn't need to hear 'I told you so' from her. He didn't need it at all. He needed to process. Addison had slept with Shepherd, and then told him that he was in love with him. Who the hell does that? That's not logical. That doesn't make sense. Damn it, why didn't their relationship ever make any sense? The look he received from Joe told him that he was willing to listen when he was ready, so he simply nodded. Joe would know what he should do. Joe always knows.

"Something strong, anything." He mumbles, but loud enough for it to be heard over the music. He could swear that it's louder than usual, but that could have something to do with the growing headache he was getting from thinking, more like obsessing, over what to do. What did she expect him to do? Hold her and tell her it was okay to screw her ex husband whenever he decided to make an appearance at her apartment? It wasn't! How did she expect him to trust her after that? He had enough problems with trust already to deal with that. He wasn't sure he could deal with that. Who's to say it wouldn't happen again? He can't be there to remind her to keep her pants on all the damn time. He thought that went unsaid. Apparently not!

Joe placed a drink in front of him that he didn't recognize, but he didn't even bother to ask what it was, the look on Joe's face informed him that it would help with whatever he was dealing with. Alex didn't have the heart to tell him that that type of drink didn't exist. That didn't stop him from gulping down the drink as soon as it sat down. It had a pretty awful taste, but then again, he'd never been big on strong drinks, he usually stuck to his beer. A beer just wouldn't cut it tonight though. A part of him wished she'd followed him, and forced him to talk, but another part of him knows he wouldn't have taken that well. After all, he left for a reason. To process. Maybe she'd be there when he got back? He wasn't sure if he wanted her to be there or not. He wasn't sure of anything anymore, he realized.

He'd downed three more of those drinks before he saw the blonde hair out of the corner of his eyes. Not that he had to see her to know that she was there. Izzie had always a certain presence. He knew if she was in a room. It was just a feeling, not that he knew what that feeling meant, he used to think it was why he loved her, at least in a way. It was a comforting feeling, and most of the time, he couldn't stop smiling when he felt it. But it didn't make him do that anymore. She was still comforting, but he didn't love her anymore, at least not like that.

"Who ran over your mom?" Izzie asked as she compared George's and Alex's sullen expressions.

"Sorry I'm late." He mumbled, not even bothering to try to figure out what she meant. Usually he was pretty fast on these things, but now he just simply didn't care.

"Oh. It's okay. We were late too. Meredith turned into a total dominatrix. I gotta say, it was pretty hott." Izzie laughed, expecting Alex to light up at the comment, but it was easy to see that something had happened, and it was going to take a lot more than that to make him feel better. "So you have two options, Alex."

Alex finally turned to look at her for the first time since she'd sat down, and noticed George pouting beside her. "Oh. Bambi. Got it." He offered a faint smile, but it was pretty obvious that he didn't appreciate the comparison. George always looked like Bambi, usually for no damn reason. He had a reason. He was dating a whore. Well, could he call her a whore if she slept with her ex husband? He was pretty sure that made it even worse. That involved feelings.

Izzie eyed him curiously for a moment before continuing. She couldn't help him until he told her what was wrong, but it didn't seem like he wanted to do that. She'd talked to him before she left, and he seemed fine. Happy even. What could have happened? "So option one. You can sit here and be a pain in my ass and mope here drinking some unnamed Joe's concoction for heartbreak, which believe me, has a very bitter bitter taste the morning after. OR." She'd expected him to stop drinking it after that, but he didn't, he just simply ordered another one. "Or you could just tell me, and I can help you." She sighed, hoping it would be the latter, but not expecting it.

"You can't help me, Iz." Alex shook his head, almost wishing he could tell her. He wanted to tell her. If he had one here, Izzie was definitely his best friend. But he couldn't even handle the "i told you so" LOOK right now. It just.. it was too new, too painful.

"Aw, come on, Alex. I've helped you before!" She nudged his shoulder playfully. "Izzie wants to help Alex." She grinned, remembering Frank. He was by far one of the strangest patients, but she had to admit, the third person thing completely caught on. That was also the last time Alex had kissed her. She'd told him she couldn't, and now all she wanted to scream was 'Izzie can!'

Sure he might would laugh, and most likely reject her, but she just missed him. She had no right to though, and being selfish had gotten her nowhere with guys, except for being alone. So she kept that part to herself.

Alex turned towards her with a small smile on his face. Maybe she'd surprise him, maybe she would be understanding, and not critical. But then he noticed George again, and the thought evaporated once again.

Izzie noticed the look he gave George, and decided to take it upon herself to solve the problem. With a smile on her face, she turned towards George. "Oh my gosh, George. I definitely just saw Callie leave here, and I think she was crying! I think you should go make sure she was okay."

George's head shot up towards the door before he turned to face Izzie. "Callie's here? I didn't see her!"

"Go!" Izzie's eyes narrowed slightly, indicating that it didn't really matter if he saw her or not.

"Right." George mumbled. "Can't interrupt Izzie and Alex time." Scratching his head slightly, he headed towards a booth in the back of the bar. All she had to do was tell him to leave.

"Let's try this again. Izzie can help." She offered a faint smile as she placed her hand on Alex's shoulder.

"Alex... Alex is sad." He sighed, realizing that she wasn't going to let him get away with the denial portion of this conversation.

"Why is Alex sad?" Izzie couldn't quite hide the smile on her face. She loved helping Alex, even if it meant it was probably going to hurt her. She just wanted to see him smile again.

"Alex... Alex thinks he's in love with a whore." Even though he was the one that said it, he seemed more surprised by the statement than Izzie. Izzie just seemed .. disappointed, or so he thought. He wasn't sure. Did he really just say he was in love with Addison? After she screwed her husband? Seriously? He dropped his head into his hands, and shook it quickly. "Alex is in love with someone who is already in love with someone else- again!"

For the second time, in less than a minute, Izzie was left speechless. She didn't like to admit that she had a part in his misery. She'd like to think that their relationship in the past was a dream, and now they were just best friends who never caused any harm to each other. Apparently, he didn't get the memo.

"Alex, that's crazy! Derek's gone. Addison doesn't still love him!" Izzie tried her best to muster up a laugh, but it never quite left her lips. She didn't know if it was true or not. Sure she'd warned Alex to be careful, but she didn't REALLY think she was still pining over Derek. At least no more than she still pinned for Denny.

"Then why did she screw him the night before he left?" His voice left no room for debate, leaving Izzie to only accept the fact in silence. She wouldn't wish what he was feeling on anyone.

"Ho.. How do you know?" The words came out without any prethought behind them. She just hoped he hadn't walked in on it. Even though she was pretty sure he wouldn't be able to hold it in that long, but Alex had always been full of surprises.

"She told me.. tonight. It's why I was late. She showed up at my apartment, apparently Addison has a conscience. Ya know, right before she told she loved ME. Perfect sense, huh? Yeah. I thought so too."

Silence enveloped the duo once again, each lost in their own thoughts. Izzie was trying her best to be objective, but it just seemed like the perfect time, in her estranged mind anyway, to tell him how she felt. But she knew that wouldn't help him, so she bit on her lower lip for a few moments before gaining the courage, or will, to effectively kill whatever chance she had with him in the any near future.

"You should tell her, Alex. You should tell her you love her before it's too late." Before he responded, Izzie leaned in and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. "For me?"

Alex couldn't help but smile as he nodded his head in agreement. "Thanks Iz. I.. I'm gonna go. Okay?" After receiving a nod in response, Alex leaned in and kissed her cheek. "Thanks for the Alex and Izzie time." Releasing a soft chuckle, he took a step back before leaving the bar, in a much better mood than he entered. He just hoped she still at his apartment, or at least somewhere he could find her.

**Comments? Questions? Concerns? Hopes? Wishes? Love? Hate?**

**ok im done. review though. :love:**


	18. How Strong Do You Think I Am

**Hey guys! 3D life has kind of taken over lately. Some health issues and stuff, but I did finally get this written! Please don't give up on me! I LOVE this story, I promise I'm not abandoning it or anything! Anyway, I know I said there was going to be some drama, and there will probably be more, but with the way my life has been, I needed something happy, so this is the product of that. Has Addex and a little bit of MarkMer. So I hope everyone is happy with it! Song is How Strong Do You Think I Am by Alexz Johnson.**

**If I don't cry, Do you think I don't feel?  
If I look away, it doesn't mean I don't see,  
And just because I want someone when I'm alone,  
Doesn't mean I'm helpless,  
That I can't stand on my own.  
How far can we go before we break?  
How long can I wait?  
How strong do you think I am?  
How much can I take of this?  
Am I a rock, or a rose, or a fist?  
Or the breath at the end of a kiss?  
How deep do you want to go, because I'll go there if I can,  
You make it harder than it has to be,  
How strong how strong, how strong do you think I am?**

Alex was cruelly woken up by the shrill sound of his alarm clock, informing him that it was now 4:30 in the morning, and that he had thirty minutes to get to the hospital, while cruelly reminding him that he'd only gotten two hours of sleep. Two measly hours. He wanted to smash the alarm clock with a baseball bat, untill he looked at the bed beside him and smiled. Just because he had to be tortured, didn't mean she had to be. So instead, he stretched his am just enough to turn it off before sliding out of the bed, careful not to wake her up. He'd somehow forgotten how peaceful she was when she was sleeping, silently vowing never to forget again.

By the time he'd returned from the shower, the bed was empty. Taking a moment to knock out all of the bad possibilities of what that meant, he continued his morning routine of rummaging though his drawers/ closet for clothes. He was almost headed out the door, five minutes earlier than usual, when he heard a slight sizzle coming from the kitchen. Tracking back down the hallway that he'd passed so quickly, the noise got louder, and that was when he saw her. Even her red hair was longer than he rememberd it being as it fell down, hiding her face, and his shirt from the night before was the only thing blocking her body from full exposure. Damn shirts, he smiled in the doorway a moment before she felt someone watching her, and turned around.

"Hey." She smiled nervously. "I just.. I wanted to cook you breakfast. But, you see, I can't really cook. I never really had to, except for the occasional box of mac and cheese or something. So, basically, the toast burned, and all the eggs stuck to the pan, and the sausage.. well.. I don't think you, as a doctor, would be willing to eat them." Her cheeks blushed slightly for a moment as she thought at how badly she had failed. He didn't even seem to care! But she did! She HATED failing! Failing wasn't in her vocabulary! Her marriage failed, her cooking failed, and she was starting to come to the sad realization that she, as a person, failed pretty miserably too. "I'm sorry. I'll clean it all up though. I promise." She nibbled on her lower lip slowly as she brushed her hair out of her face, waiting for him to say something, anything. If he didn't speak soon, she was going to keep talking, and if she kept talking, it was only going to get more embarrassing. Couldn't he save her from that?

"Come here." He smiled at her from the doorway, opening his arms up so that she could fall into them, which she did. His hand lifted to her hair, gently stroking it as he whispered every sentiment he could think of to make her feel better, and possibly a silly anecdote or two. Each equally, if not more, embarrasing on his part. Once her fidgeting came to a stop, he pulled away, taking her hands in his. "I thought you'd left."

A soft laugh escaped her lips as she shook her head. "Might have been better if I'd gotten take out, though."

"I love you, Addison." Alex smiled as he repeated the words that he'd only first spoken the night before.

"Even after I destroy your kitchen?" Her eyebrows raised curiously at him, the corner of her lips begging to turn upwards in amusement.

"Especially after you destroyed my kitchen in my shirt, that might I add, I can probably never wear again, because you look stunning in it.

"I get that a lot." She restless her hair jokingly as she tightens her other hands grasp on his.

"Not surprised." He leans in quickly for a kiss. "Sure you don't wanna work today? You know, I would even be willing to work in gynie for you."

"As tempting as that is, I think I'm going to have to pass. But tomorrow? Tomorrow you are definitely going to be all mine." She grinned as she pulled him for yet another kiss.

"That a promise?" Alex whispered huskily, wanting nothing more than to carry her back to his room.

"Just as much as the the sun will rise." Addison countered back, running her hands slowly across his chest.

"I.. I don't really have to go to work, ya know?"

A small smile spread across her lips as she removed herself from his grasp. "Yes, you do. You're an intern. You're not suppose to ever want to leave the hospital."

"In my defense, I don't when you're there." She tried her best to fight it, but she couldn't stop from melting at his words.

"Go!" She tried her best to seem dominating as she pointed towards the door, his shirt lifting up above her thighs.

"You're going to miss me!" He laughed as he made his way out of the kitchen to the apartment door. She smiled as she heard the door open, and close again before she said anything.

"I already do." With that, she returned to the sink, once again scrubbing at the egg that didn't want to come off the pan. "Stupid cooks. Who needs to cook anyway?" She muttered, wishing that she'd never gotten the idea at all.

**It's so hard to tell,  
What's in your heart,  
What you keep to yourself,  
Is tearing me apart,  
And should I be afraid,  
To dream about you?  
And if you feel the same,  
What you going to do?**

Alex was already halfway into his jog to the hospital when he saw a billboard advertising the park, causing his thoughts to drift to the night before. It was less than 12 hours ago, but it still seemed like an eternity ago.

_He'd known the instant that he entered his apartment that she wasn't there, even though the faintest hint of her perfume still consumed the air, it was an empty apartment. He didn't even bother looking around. Not that there were a lot of places she could be anyway. He didn't even bother to stop and think before he locked the door behind him, and was on his way to her place. At some point, she'd given him a spare key, although he couldn't remember when, nor could he remember a time he was so thankful to have it. Once again, the air heavily reminded him of her, but he knew that she wasn't there. It had a certain coldness in it that Addison would never allow. There was only one other place for him to look, and the more he thought about it, the more likely it seemed that he should have checked there first._

_The parks lighting was even dimmer than he remembered, making it nearly impossible to make out her form from a distance. If it wasn't for her fire red hair, he probably would have missed her completely. She wasn't sitting on their bench. In fact, she was sitting several down from it, but that didn't surprise him. Nor did it surprise him that she didn't turn to look at him when she heard is rather loud jog steps on the concrete to get to her._

_He stopped mere inches in front of her, and instead of taking a seat beside her, which he deemed too dangerous, he stood in front of her, blocking the hyptnotizing view of the water, and the boats which never seemed to stop going. "You're here." He managed to get out, a bit breathless after the rush of the past hour, not that that mattered._

_"I'm here." She smiled faintly at him, begging the tears that were forcing their way to her eyes to stay below the surface. She didn't want to cry anymore. If she was going to get through this, she couldn't cry. Alex couldn't yell at her if she was crying, and she wanted to be yelled at. She deserved to be yelled at. She wanted him to yell for hours even. Yelling was so much better than silence. How she loathed the silence. The thoughts just made her hate herself even more. She'd slept with Derek! The guy that didn't care! The guy that silence consumed their lives. She could blame a thousand things, fear, alcohol, saying goodbye, _

_but none of them made her feel one bit better about doing it._

_"I've been looking for you.." He smiled softly as he nilled down in front of her onto both of his knees. Making him almost eye level with her if he kept his back straight. Almost._

_"I was going to leave a note, but I... I didn't know if you'd care." She glanced down to the side ofer, refusing to meet his gaze, terrified to see any pain that she may have caused him._

_"I'll always care." He sighed, using his left hand to guide her eyes to his. "I will always care about you, Addi. No matter what."_

_Her begging of her tears did little good as they slipped though the corner of her eys and onto her cheeks. She shook her head, no, refusing to wipe them away anymore. "You shouldn't. I.. I mess everything up. I don't deserve you at all."_

_"Well that's too bad, because l'm yours." He smiled as he a grabbed a hold of her hands that'd been nearly frozen, it seemed, from the chill in the air._

_"But.." She didn't really want to make him change his mind, but didn't expect it to be this easy. "What happened tonight?" A thousand scenarios flashed through her mind in the blink of an eye, and none of them did she particularly like. Most of them involved Izzie Stevens throwing herself at him. The thought made her a little nauseous, but she wasn't sure she really wanted to know the details. She just had to ask. Even though she'd probably hear all about it at work in two days anyway. That hospital thrived on gossip, more than medicine. She'd heard more than a few comments on her relationship with Alex, mostly to the effect that is was doomed. She refused to believe them, even if their was evidence to the contrary. She wanted to believe they'd work out. Alex respects honesty, and she'd been brutally honest._

_"Doesn't matter. The point is I came to an undeniable conclusion that I... I am absolutely, completely, and utterly in love you with Addison Montgomery." He interrupted her rapid thoughts, and all she could do was smile. It couldn't have been a more perfect answer._

_"I love you too, Alex." She smiled through her tears before cupping his face in her hands, lowering her head to meet his for a kiss. "I love you so much." She muttered against his lips before deepening the kiss. It suddenly felt like their first kiss all over again, which she only remembered it being rushed and drunken, this kiss was definitely more soft and loving, and it gave her butterflies in her stomach._

_Finally pulling away from the kiss for air, Alex stood up, pulling her up with him. "Move in with me, baby." He hadn't planned that one. He couldn't even remember consciously thinking about it. He'd never even wanted to have roommates. Yet, the idea didn't terrify him. In fact, he was quickly growing to like the idea. He could see the surprise on her face, and knew that he should say more to get her to like the idea as much as he did, but he found that he didn't know what to say. It'd surprised him as much as anyone. Moving in was a huge step, eormous even. They'd just had their first big fight, he realized that the timing was probably a bit off, but when had timing even been on his side. Moments passed, along with two ferry boats before either of them spoke again._

_"Alex..." Addison managed get out as she stared into his eyes. Move in? Flashes of her short lived relationship flashed through her mind, and she was quick to want to say no. The Mark situation did not exactly work out, but then again she would have never met Alex, and she honestly didn't want to know what her life would be like right now if she didn't have Alex, much less now him. He was quickly becoming larger than life to her, and that scared her. Her relationships with Derek and Mark had been so different than this. "Alex.. Are you sure? I mean, I can just pretend you didn't ask and we can wait to talk about it later. I mean we both haven't had an awful night, and I haven't been imagining you telling me you love me, which ur version was 20x better, but.. I.. Are you su..." Addison's rambling was cut off by Alex's finger halting the movement of her lips, using his other hand to stroke her hair._

_"Move in with me, Addi. I want you to. I'll be good. I promise. Besides, you already know my weird habits." Alex grinned as she let out a small laugh. He was becoming more and more hopeful that she'd say yes as her eyes began to sparkle with possibilities._

_The man did not have bad habits, she realized. Which was probably more annoying than if he did. He was healthy, he ran, ate a lot of salads, he even kept his place pretty clean, especially considering he was an intern. She was trying to give him an out, but he didn't seem to want it, and she could only keep the words off her tongue for so long. "Alex.." She began again, but stopped as he shook his head._

_"Just think about it. Okay?" he smiled as he pulled her in for another kiss._

_"Ok." She smiled as she intertwined their hands before starting down the path to get to her car so they could go... home." She grinned at the thought, laying her head on his shoulder. She was going to live with Alex Karev._

**How far can we go before we break?  
How long can I wait?  
If I move in any closer,  
If you let go and give yourself away,  
and if we let this happen to us,  
Everything will change.**

It was well after noon when the two got out of bed, it would have been later if either could control the growling of their stomachs. After much persuasion, Meredith agreed to let Mark cook her brunch. He swore that he was excellent at it, and even though she highly doubted it, she was more than willing to watch him try.

"Are you sure you know how to do this, Mark? I don't mind getting take out." Meredith grinned as she made herself comfortable on one of the stools in the kitchen.

"Yes babe, I'm sure. Trust me." A small smile played on his lips as he glanced at her until he received an accepting nod. He was slightly nervous, he'd never cooked for anyone except Derek and Addison, and that was only on holidays. He figured they could only stand french toast so often, and he was more than willing to forget the tradition, but they'd never let him.

"Izzie is going to kill you if you mess up her kitchen, ya know?" Meredith giggled as she watched him scramble through the fridge to get eggs, milk, and butter, before making his way through the cabinets for the pan, cinnamon, and of course the maple syrup.

"She'll have to go through you first though, right?" He grinned as he cracked the first egg of five on the edge of the small bowl he'd found in the dish washer.

"I'll let you know after I try it." She leaned forward on the counter to get a better view. Sure, he looked like he knew what he was doing, but she knew better than anyone that looks could be deceiving. Especially when it came to Mark.

"You clearly believe in my abilities." He playfully rolled his eyes as he grabbed the loaf of the bread from the bread box, untwisting the tie in a matter of seconds effortlessly.

"Of course I believe in your abilities, just not in the kitchen. Remember, I've seen you bake." She laughed before standing up off the

stool and making her way to the other side beside him. "Do you need any help?" Her voice was barely above a whisper as she leaned against the counter.

Mark's eyes, that'd formerly been on the stove top watching the butter melt in the pan, drifted to meet her not so innocent gaze. "Merrrr.. I need food!" he grinned, walking towards her anyway, easily lifting her onto the counter by her hips.

"I just offered to help." She giggled, wrapping her arms around his neck.

"I think we both know that you can't help me cook." He laughed, completely ignoring the sizzling of the buttered pan.

"You could teach me." She bit her lower lip softly as she met his gaze, and watched as his defense fell almost instantly.

"Fine.. But no burning the food! I'm really hungry!" He pouted before sliding her off the counter onto her feet, just enough so that he could show her what to do, hoping that she wouldn't want to actually try to do anything.

**Hope it wasn't too bad, guys! Hopefully things will settle down again soon, and I'll get back to normal updates!**


	19. Chapter 19

**AH! I have nothing but apologies, guys. Seriously. And this, well, it's basically just to get me back on the story track. Fluff and friends stuff. Hopefully the next chapter will be up MUCH sooner! Seriously guys, all apologies!!!! This chapter doesn't have a song because I really wanted to get it out. Sorry!  
**

The next week passed with little to no surprises for the dirty mistresses. They'd taken full advantage of the new step in their relationship. In on call rooms, and almost every room in each of their residences. They'd wordlessly convinced themselves that they had to make up for the celibacy they'd tortured themselves through. They owed it to themselves.

The clock had just struck midnight when Meredith found herself knocking on the door to his apartment. They'd agreed to spend the night apart since Mark had an even earlier morning than usual that was going to require him to get up at three thirty. She felt mildly pathetic, but she just couldn't fall asleep without him there. Guilt of waking him up had nearly made her leave when the door creaked open, revealing a sleepy eyed Mark in a pair of worn out boxers. "Mer?" He rubbed one of his eyes as he gave her a questioning look. "Something wrong?"

A smile immediately crept onto her face as she all but rushed into his arms, wrapping her arms tightly around his neck. "I'm sorry." She mumbled as she buried herself into his chest.

"Hey Hey." Mark grinned, pulling her into the apartment and closing the door behind her. "Talk to me, babe."

"I couldn't.. I can't sleep without you." She pouted, her eyes darting to the floor.

"I think I know a way to fix that." He grinned, pinning her slightly against the door, both of his hands on her hips.

"You have to get up in like three hours!" She giggled as he started kissing her neck.

"I've slept enough." He grinned as she jumped up, wrapping her legs around his waist tightly.

"One hour is not enough sleep!" She grinned, pulling her shirt over head, discarding it in the hallway.

"It'll be worth it." He grinned, plopping her on the bed beneath him.

"Ow."She pouted as she reached under her back to pull out whatever she landed on. "AWW!" She cooed as she pulled the teddy bear out from under her that she kept at his place. "You slept with Teddy?"

A blush rose to his cheeks as he grinned sheepishly. "Maybe."

"I love you." She squealed without even realizing what she was saying untill she noticed his smile growing a little bigger. Her cheeks quickly turned nearly maroon as he continued to linger over her.

"Well that's good, you see.." He whispered huskily in her ear as he nipped at her earlobe with his pearly whites.

"Yeah?" She croaked slightly as her breath got caught in her throat.

"Because I love you too." With that, he captured her lips with his own, completely forgetting about the wake up call in a little over three hours. Sleep just wasn't that important.

Alex Karev's eyes fluttered open slowly as the sun penetrated through his lids. Damn the windows, he thought as he glanced around the empty room before they landed on his clock. It was only 9:30, but he had a lot to do. Running his hand softly across the newly washed pillow on her undisturbed side of the bed, he threw his legs over the side of the bed. She'd been on call the night before, but she was coming by at two to get him to help her pack her stuff so she could move in. Therefore, he had to rearrange all of his stuff to make room for hers.

He'd just gotten out of the shower when he heard a knock on the door. Wondering briefly who it was, he slipped on a pair of sweat pants before making his way to the door. Glancing into the peep hole, a pleasantly surprised smile graced his features as he opened the door.

"Iz. What are you doing here?" He busied his hands with the towel that was hanging from his neck as she made her way through the door, seemingly ignoring the question until the door was closed behind her.

"Well.. I just.. I hadn't talked to you in awhile. And I saw that you had today off. So I was just going to see if you wanted to go have breakfast or something." The words tumbled out of her mouth as if she hadn't been rehearsing them for the past hour and a half. She had- but he didn't need to know that anyway. She blamed the fact that he had no shirt on, which she was sure was at least partly true considering she couldn't even bribe her eyes with a new pair of glasses to look anywhere else, like his face for instance.

Alex chuckled at her jibberish as well as her trained eyes. "How much coffee have you had this morning, Iz?"

Truthfully, she hadn't had any, but once again, there were some things he didn't need to know. Her cheeks flushed slightly as she shook her head. "Probably too much. So what do you say?" She asked, not wanting to catch herself in some huge lie over something like coffee.

"Oh. well.." Alex glanced quickly down at his watch before looking around the apartment. He had so much he needed to do, but he couldn't bring himself to say no to her. After all, she was his best friend. "I have to be back in like an hour to start moving stuff around. But breakfast sounds good, Iz."

Izzie's eyes lit up at the idea of decorating. All thoughts of food disappeared, replaced with the excitement. "I can help you decorate! I love decorating. Almost as much as baking, and well, you know how much I love baking. Oh my gosh, Alex! Are you going to paint? I really love painting. You could so rule in red walls. Don't ya think? Or maybe midnight blue? Purple even. Not gay pride purple, like royal purple. Not anyone can pull off purple walls, ya know!" She finally stopped her rambling as his eyes bulged from the overload. "Sorry." She smiled softly as she looked down towards the ground.

"Wow. Um I don't know if we're painting it or not. We haven't really talked about it to be honest. I'm just making some room." Her eyes immediately darkened in sadness as she realized what he was talking about.

"Addison is moving in?" She barely whispered the words as her heart quietly broke. She knew they'd patched things up, but she didn't know she was moving in. That was serious.

"Oh. Yeah." Alex blushed slightly at the thought. He never saw himself as that guy before, but he was quickly becoming him, and oddly enough, he wasn't freaking out.

"Well the offer still stands." She nodded her head in confirmation with a forced smile as she glanced towards the door. "So breakfast?"

"Yeah!" Alex gave his best smile as he glanced down at what he was wearing. "Let me just go grab a hoodie." She nodded quickly as she watched him disappear further into the apartment. She couldn't but wish that she was the one moving in. But she'd ruined that. She'd practically shoved him into Addison's arms, and now she was just going to have to accept it.

**Please review! If you guys have any ideas on where this story should go, please let me know. I'm a little stuck! **

**Next chapter will probably be some more Lexzie and probably Addex. **


	20. Chapter 20

**OK. I'm seriously never going to make any promises about updates again, because EVERY TIME I do. I get stuck. But the big problem with this story, as much as I love it, I think it's kind of ran it's course. I don't really have much left to do with it, so it will probably be wrapping up soon. And if any of you will read this after how much I fail at updating, I applaud you. Anyway, I hope that although this chapter is incredibly short- too short really, and once again no song, you will still like it. I finally got an idea for upcoming Mer/Mark.. possibly the end though.**

Addison walked into the apartment just before two, as planned, to find the place spotless. If she didn't know any better, she would have guessed he'd hired a professional, but she knew Alex enough to know that he'd never spend money on that. It wasn't until she heard the roaring laughter from the bedroom that her stomach knotted into what could only be called a resemblance to a quilt as she slowly made her way towards the closed doorway, squinting her eyes as tightly as possible even though she knew she'd have to pry them open as soon as the door was open.

The door creaked open with the resisting help of her hand, and slowly but surely her eyes opened themselves to find only half of what she'd been expecting. They were on the bed- but besides that, she couldn't have been more wrong. Having a renewed faith in her decision to move in, Addison smiled as she made her way further into the room. "Hey guys." She blushed slightly as she looked down at the photo album that was spread across Alex's lap that was entirely made up of pictures of when they were together, unfortunately most of them were of her without makeup. Never a good thing if you asked her.

"Hey babe." Alex smiled up at her, extending his neck up just enough for her to kiss him in greeting before flipping the page.

"Has he been torturing you with these all day?" Addison laughed, only vaguely curious just how long Izzie had been there. Now thinking back to the spotless apartment, she realized it must have been quite a while.

"Oh. Well, Yes and no. The pictures are adorable, and besides I asked to see them." Izzie shrugged her shoulders as she focused her attention on the pictures. Alex's smiling face in the majority of them, all of the ones he was in, was enough for her to swallow her feelings and truly enjoy the pictures.

"Well, are you staying around a while longer? I was going to go take a shower." Addison raised her eyebrows for a moment, not completely sure what answer she wanted in response.

"Actually, I have to go. Meredith's off today, and she'll start trying to cook or something." Izzie let out a small laugh as she stood up, smoothing out her clothes.

"Bye Iz." Alex smiled as he placed the opened album on the bed where she once was before standing up, and kissing her on the cheek. "Thanks for lunch."

"No problem." She tried her best to keep the blush off her cheeks as his lips contacted her cheek as she sent a polite smile in the redhead's direction

"I'll walk you out." He offered but she quickly shook her head. "No that's okay. You might.. you know.. knock something over or something." She laughed before quickly walking towards the door. "Bye you two."

"Bye Stevens." Addison gave her best smile until she was sure Izzie was too far down the hallway to see her. Once she heard the door open and close again, a genuine smile spread across her features as she wrapped her arms around Alex's neck, pulling him into a tight hug and burying her forehead into his neck. "Did I mention how much I missed you this morning?" She pouted as his arms pulled her even closer to his chest.

"Not as much as I missed you, babe." He grinned, pulling away just enough to kiss her lips softly. "Welcome home."

"You know.. when you say it like that, all the boxes at my place just don't seem so important to pick up." She grinned suggestively as her eyes darted to the bed that'd been made up neatly. Only the photo album was keeping her from pushing him down right then.

"Oh yeah?" He smirked, kissing her again as he sat down on the bed, pulling him with her so that her knees went on both sides of him.

"What about the pictures." She squealed as his tongue flickered against her neck.

"What about them." He grinned, using one hand to blindly push the pictures further away from them before flipping her on the bed, quickly hovering over her.

"This is why I keep you around." She muttered in between kisses until she was entirely too distracted to have any more coherent thoughts at all.

**Angry rants? Raves? Anything?**

**Once again, I am SO sorry for the delay. I will try my best not to take so long next time. Thank you all SO much for not giving up on me. I WILL finish this story. I love it too much to abandon it. **


	21. Chapter 21

**Yep. That's right! Another update! YAY! And it's dirty mistresses. Which I always love. And It's still not exactly how I would like it to be considering I still don't have a song. But I was soo happy I got it written. I wanted to post it. Hopefully next chapter relatively soon! **

Meredith was rummaging through the fridge when Izzie entered the room, immediately stopping in her tracks. "Hey Mer." She breathed a sigh of relief when she realized that her friend hadn't actually started something yet.

"Oh. Hey Iz. How was Alex and Izzie time?" She grinned proudly at herself until she saw Izzie's face fall.

"It was okay. Just full of talking about Addison." Izzie rolled her eyes as she took a seat in one of the stools.

"Oh. I'm sorry, Iz." Meredith frowned, suddenly not wanting to share her news anymore.

"He really loves her." She frowned as she began fumbling with her fingers. "I mean it's Alex. Evil spawn. Syphillis creator! Alex doesn't fall in love! He's like.."

"Mark?" Meredith frowned, no longer knowing if Izzie would even pretend to be happy for her. She was in love with Mark, and he felt the same way. She knew he did.

"Oh. Mer.. I'm sorry.. I just meant.." Izzie sighed, realizing once again her big mouth had gotten her into trouble. "For what it's worth, I think what you two have is great. I don't even think I've seen him flirt with a nurse. I wouldn't worry." Izzie smiled the best she could.

"He told me he loved me." She beamed, finally being able to say the one thing she'd been desperately wanting to tell someone all day. Cristina was her person, but it'd been established long ago that they didn't do feelings. This was HUGE on the feelings list.

A sad smile crossed Izzie's lips as she nodded her head. "Good for you, Mer. I think I'm going to go lay down. Don't destroy the kitchen."

"Oh. I'm not cooking." Meredith smiled as she glanced down at her watch. "Mark will be here soon. We're going out."

"Oh. Alright. Have fun." Izzie smiled as she walked out of the room, leaving Meredith alone with her time once again until Mark showed up.

Mark was exhausted by the time he got in his car from the last errand of the day. Work alone had been absolutely dreadful. Complications had risen in the first surgery that he'd dragged himself out of bed at three in the morning for, ultimately loosing the patient. He'd actually liked the kid. He was nice enough, polite. Possibly too polite for a 16 year old whose parents couldn't find the time to show up for his surgery. Maybe liked him because he WAS him. Except he'd been lucky enough to have Derek's mom there for him. Not that he had ever needed surgery, but he did break his arm once in high school. His mother had mailed his insurance card from the Bahamas. He hadn't bothered to call her to tell her what was wrong. Either way, after one bad surgery, he never could drag himself out of the slump he'd fell into. He saw the kids face in every patient. He'd always been great at being professional and detached. Even the recurring patients that called him by his first name and invited him for drinks, he'd stayed emotionally detached from.

As he pulled the car into her neighborhood, he forced the thoughts out of his head as best he could. This night wasn't about him. It was about her. About showing her what she meant to him. In a word- she was everything. She deserved to know that, and he was determined to show her. Glancing sideways into the passenger seat, his heartbeat jumped to a racing degree. He didn't know when exactly he'd fallen in love with her, but he had. He hated that he had to sacrifice his only family for it, but that seemed to be a recurring theme in his thoughts. She was his family now.

By the time the car came to a complete stop in her driveway, his nerves were shot. He couldn't even stop the slight shaking of his hands. Mark Sloan did NOT get nervous. It wasn't in his genes. He was nervous though. Sweaty palms and all, he realized as he quickly rubbed the palms against the thighs of his jeans. After killing the ignition and slipping his pinkie through the center of the key hole, and grabbing the contents from the passenger seat, he pulled himself out of the car, and started his way up the path to her doorway at a much slower rate than anyone would consider normal. Rummaging through his set of keys, which was becoming increasingly difficult with the amount of stuff in his hands, he finally found the key to her place, and unlocked the door. Cursing silently as he fiddled with the lock. Damn door hated him. The door opened before he could unlock it revealing Meredith with more than an amused grin on her face, causing his cheeks to blush.

"Hey babe." He grinned stepping over the threshold and handing her the two dozen roses he'd picked up on the way home.

"Flowers, huh?" She grinned as she let his lips linger on her cheek in passing.

"I missed you." He winked as he continued into the house keeping the wrapped box securely in his hands.

'What's in the box?" She smiled as she shut the door before quickly making her way after him, trying to grab the box.

"It's for later." He chuckled as he sat the box down along with the keys so that he could pull her into his arms.

"Later? Since when do you like waiting for anything?" She laughed as she wrapped her arms around his neck.

"I can wait!" He gasped, crashing his lips onto hers. "But obviously you can't." He mused after she'd pulled away, eying the box.

"How much later are we talking?" She bit her lower lip softly as she met his gaze.

"Oh. Much later. I'm talking it could be YEARS." He laughed, kissing her again.

"YEARS!" She pouted as she let her fingers linger on his chest running soft lines from his heart to his abs. "Marrrk.."She stuck out her lower lip effectively as she continued to eye the box.

"Up to you, I suppose." He grinned, grabbing a hold of her hands. "I love you, Mer."

"I love you too, Mark." She smiled, this time pulling him in to kiss him.

"Feels good, huh?" He smirked as he wrapped his arms around her waist. Still making sure they were far enough from the box so that she couldn't reach it. He couldn't take any chances.

"To hear it or say it?" She giggled as she let her hands massage his neck while her eyes were now focused on his now slightly swollen lips.

"Both. But you know, not just ANYONE gets to be told that I love them, I mean I'm talking five girls a day - tops!" He chuckled as he received a hard slap on his chest. One that he'd be lying if he said didn't leave a sting behind.

"ASS! I think I should get that gift now just for that!" She pulled away as she crossed her arms against her chest.

"Later." He grinned as he grabbed the box and keys in one hand, her hand in the other. "In the meantime, we have reservations." He kissed her cheek before pulling her back towards the door.

**Thanks for not giving up on me, guys! **


	22. The End

The car ride consisted mostly of Meredith asking where Mark was taking her, and Mark turning up the radio just a notch louder each time. Not that it stopped her from asking, and he realized painfully that she knew how to make him want to talk with her wandering and teasing hands. Had he not been driving on the freeway, he probably would have pulled over and had his way with her. Damn it. He grimaced as tightened his grip on the gear shaft. She was so going to pay for this later.

He finally pulled into the restaurant parking lot, and after nearly manhandling the stick into park and yanking the keys from the ignition, he pulled her into his lap effortlessly and captured her lips with his own. "Better." He muttered as a sigh escaped his lips, eliciting a soft giggle from her once she caught her breath. "That was evil, Grey."

"You could have just told me." She grinned as she leaned in to peck his lips again before sliding off of him. "I like this restaurant."

"I know." He grinned as he slid out of the drivers seat, and linked their hands as soon as he was close enough to her.

"You aren't bringing the present?" She pouted as she realized that his hand was free.

"Nope." He shook his head, fighting the smile that was growing increasingly difficult to hide due to her stomping of her feet.

"But Marrrrk!" She whined as she stopped their walking right in front of the restaurant's door.

"You'll get it later, babe." He kissed her forehead before scooting her through the door with his hands in the back pockets of her jeans.

"Yeah, but you won't!" She crossed her arms against her chest in a huff as they stopped in front of the hostess's stand.

"Reservation for two for Sloane." Mark finally was able to speak after picking up his jaw. Surely she didn't mean it. No, she definitely wouldn't mean it later.

"Right this way, Mr. Sloan." The hostess blushed as he smiled at her, and almost forgot that she was at work until Meredith cleared her throat to make her stop staring. She darted her eyes to the ground to avoid the stare as she led them to the table in the back that he'd requested. She'd worked at the restaurant long enough to know that this table was only requested for very special occasions, but she ignored that because she didn't want to think about the hot man walking behind her getting engaged. In fact, she might would cry for every woman that had yet to meet him. And seriously, what was so special about this girl? She was.. Ordinary!

Once she'd reached the table, she watched as Mark pulled out Meredith's chair for her before taking his own. She was sure that her eyes had turned green with envy by then, but she couldn't help it. Clearing her mind the best she could, she excused herself and made her way back up front, making a note to slip on her earphones to avoid hearing any squeals of laughter.

"She was rude." Meredith commented once the hostess was out of sight.

"She was just a kid, Mer." Mark laughed as he scanned the menu, although he already knew what he wanted. He always got the same thing there.

"She was practically drooling." Meredith scoffed as she leaned back in her chair, narrowing her eyes.

"You're just jealous that she wasn't drooling over you, babe." Mark smirked as he widened his smile a bit more to show off his pearly whites.

"Am not!"

"It's okay, Mer. I drool enough over you for everyone." He winked as he outstretched his hands to grab hers under the table.

"Aren't you just a bowl of Frosted Flakes tonight." She laughed as she allowed his fingers to intertwine with hers.

"Hey. Do not hate on Frosted Flakes, babe. They are classic. Okay?" He grinned as he fought the urge to scoot her chair around the table beside him.

"I'm more of a Cheerios person, myself." She smirked as she ran her right foot up and down the inside of his leg.

"My ass. You've probably never eaten Cheerios, much less liked them!"

"That's not true!.. Okay it is! But you aren't suppose to know that!" She blushed as she felt his legs encircle hers.

"I love you." He spoke so softly that she had to read his lips to make sure it's what he said. She knew he'd said it before, numerous times, but it still gave her butterflies every time.

"I love you, too." She was sure her eyes were sprinkling with tears, but she couldn't help it.

"Good." He grinned, finally giving in to the urge to lean over the table and kiss her. Forgetting their surroundings, the kiss deepened until they heard someone clear their throat, causing them to break apart, very reluctantly.

"Hi." The waitress blushed as the two gathered their bearings. "Um.. Um..." She fumbled endlessly as she darted her eyes anywhere but at the two occupants of her table. Most waitresses loved this table because they usually left big tips, but she'd never been able to handle all the PDA she had to witness. So, needless to say, she hadn't been thrilled when she walked into work that day and had been assigned it.

"We're ready to order." Meredith smiled sadly at the young girl who was obviously uncomfortable. She took pity on her because she wasn't drooling over Mark like the hostess had been.

"Oh. Okay." She nodded, tightening her grip on her pen that was pressing down hard on the pad of paper. "What can I get for you today?"

After putting in their orders, the waitress rushed away, leaving them alone once again. "Are we scary?" Meredith wondered with a slight laugh. "She could have won a race."

"Well.. I did forget to shave this morning." He laughed as he ran his hand over his stubbled cheek.

"That could be it." She grinned, nodding in agreement as her eyes scanned the restaurant. "This place is nice, Mark. I feel like I should be wearing something.. nicer." She blushed as she down casted her eyes to her sweater and old pair of jeans.

"You look perfect, Mer." He grinned, linking their fingers together once again.

It was the last trip. When they were done loading all of her stuff this round, she would never again step foot into her apartment, and she wasn't sure how she felt about that. She'd come to love the place. It was her safe keep, and a part of her was scared to leave it. She'd done the whole moving in with a guy before, and that didn't turn out so great for her. Given, it led to marriage, and several good years of it, but it ended so badly that she was afraid. What if she messed up again? What if Alex realized she wasn't enough? She couldn't handle that again. She was so lost in her thoughts, she barely noticed when he snuck up behind her, wrapping his arm around her waist.

"What ya thinking about, babe?" He whispered into her ear, eliciting chill bumps all the way up her spine and down her arms as his breath tickled her ear.

She smiled as she turned around in his arm to face him. "You." She widened her grin as she leaned in to kiss his lips. "Always thinking of you."

"Good. I finished loading the truck. Thanks for the help, Addi." He chuckled as he nuzzled her nose with his own.

"Oh. But it's not done, you see." She shook her head as she reluctantly left his grasp. She just needed a few more moments in her place of solitude. She couldn't back out now, even if she wanted to. She knew that. And she didn't want to back out, not really. She just had to face her fears, and accept what she already knew. This was different than it was with Derek. Derek was her safety. Derek, she knew he would never hurt her. She'd known that he would be the better choice. Alex was not the safe choice. Alex was the very opposite of the safe choice, but she couldn't remember a time when she ever wanted anything more.

"It's not?" He scratched his head, oblivious to her far away look in her eyes and the fragileness in her stand.

She took a seat, Indian style, on the white carpet and smiled. "You forgot one very important thing."

"Does this 'thing' have red hair and the most stunning pair of eyes?" He grinned as he stepped towards her.

"Maybe." She mused as she ran her fingers through her hair and batted her eyelashes.

"Well, what do you suggest me to do then?" He laughed as he sat down in front of her, taking her legs and pulling her closer to him.

"Well, I do have a few ideas." She smirked as she kissed his lips.

"By all means, share."

"Well the apartment is still mine for another.." She glanced down at her watch quickly before meeting his eyes again. "Two hours."

He grinned as he napped at her neck with his teeth softly. "What are you suggesting we do, exactly?"

"I think you're figuring it out, grasshopper."

"Good. I'd hate to be wrong." He chuckled before capturing her lips with his own, nearly growling as her fingernails racked his chest, leaving red marks in their tracks as she pushed him back against the floor.

It was just barely under two hours later when the two left the apartment, hand in hand, neither with any doubts that the right choice wasn't made.

Mark spent the rest of dinner keeping Meredith's mind off of the gift in the car, as well as his. He wasn't sure why he was so nervous, it was a nice gift, Simple even. But his stomach was in knots, and he couldn't get rid of the feeling for anything. He could feel the worker's eyes on them, and he knew what they were expecting, which really just made him want to laugh. He was not going to propose at a restaurant! He wasn't that creative of a guy, but he could think of something better than that. As if he'd propose in a public place at all. She would kill him. Really. Probably in his sleep, he'd hope.

After paying the bill, he led her out of the restaurant by the hand, cursing under his breath that mother nature had decided it should rain, AGAIN, in Seattle, and not told him. He didn't have an umbrella, which would have been okay for him, but even if she didn't show it, she couldn't have been too happy. Not that she didn't look beautiful in the rain, but he'd found girls had a complex about being wet. Something about smearing their make up. He glanced over at her, and smiled as he was reminded of one of the many reasons why he loved her so much. She wasn't even wearing make up. At least none of them smearing variety. He guessed she just expected the rain, being a Seattle native and all.

"Hey Mark?" She smiled as she stopped in her tracks, making him turn around to face her as the rain slowly turned into a heavy drizzle.

"Yeah babe?" He grinned as he as he stepped towards her, their noses just centimeters away from brushing against each other.

"Everything alright?" She smiled nervously as she felt his grip tighten on her hand before his eyes closed to lean in and kiss her lips.

"Great." He smiled as he resumed the walk to the car, going to her side first to open the door. He fought to hold back a laugh as she tried, not so secretively, to search for the box in the car.

"Relax babe. Trust me." He laughed as he opened the door for her, allowing her to slide inside before shutting the door behind her and making his way to the drivers side. He was surprised to find she hadn't seemed to even turned around to look for it. He was quite impressed with her patience.

"I trust you, you know. In case you were wondering, I do. I'm just.."

"Nosy?" He chuckled as he started the engine, trying not to make fun of her weak attempt at slapping his arm for the comment.

"I am NOT nosy!" She insisted as she crossed her arms against her chest, sending glares distinctively in his direction.

"Of course you aren't baby. You're just impatient and very curious is all." He smirked as he felt her eyes narrow even more, which he didn't realize was even possible. It was.

"You're an ASS!" She pouted as she sat back in her seat, staring out the passenger side window.

"Well that's too bad. I was really excited to see if you liked your present. But asses don't give presents. So I guess I won't know." He watched as she openly gapped at his comment before smacking his arm again.

"Baby!" She pouted again as she stuck out her lower lip. She leaned towards him until she could rest her chin comfortably on his shoulder so that her breath would tickle his ear as she whispered.

"Yeah?" He managed hoarsely, fighting to keep his attention on the road ahead.

"I really _really _want my present.."He felt the flicker of her tongue against his ear lobe, causing him to forcefully swallow the newfound lump in his throat.

"N.. Not yet." He managed weakly, tightening his grasp on the steering wheel to control himself.

"But tonight?" She asked slowly, enjoying the feel of his twitching muscles.

"Ah huh." He nodded his head slowly before finally pulling into the parking lot. "We're here." He smiled, taking a breath of relief as she moved away from him to see where they were.

"Joe's. You brought me to Joe's. SERIOUSLY?" She crossed her arms against her chest, narrowing her eyes at him. "That gift better not be a freaking bottle of tequila, Marcus!"

"I promise, it's not." He grinned as he got out of the vehicle, grabbing the box before opening her door. "After you, babe."

"I'm watching you, mister." She grinned as she took his hand, allowing him to guide her into the bar.

"Wouldn't expect anything less." He lead her to the booth that they'd sat at the night they'd began. When he told her it could be more than just a drink. He never imagined it would be SO much more than just a drink.

"Why did you pick the booth furtherest away?" She whined as they finally made it to the destination, after bypassing numerous empty ones along the way.

"Do you remember the night we came for a drink?" He grinned, allowing her to sit down before sliding into the seat across from her.

"How could I forget?" She smiled, realizing that it was the same booth. It seemed like a lifetime ago. So much had changed.

"Did you ever think it'd lead us here?"

"Ha. No. I figured I'd sleep with you, and that'd be the end of it." She laughed as a blush creped onto her cheeks as several dirty thoughts filtered her mind. "But I'm glad I was wrong."

"Me too!" He grinned, finally handing her the gift before speaking again. "It's not a lot. Someone actually gave it to me, and I thought you might like it. I think you will. I hope." He continued to ramble until she said his name.

"I'm sure I'll love it, babe." She giggled as she delicately unwrapped the box. She was pretty sure he hadn't wrapped it, but then again, he was a surgeon, so it wouldn't be impossible for him to know how to wrap. She took a deep breath once the box has been completely unwrapped. The size of the box made it pretty clear that it wasn't jewelry. Not to mention, it was slightly heavy.

"You've been begging for it all night, Mer. Open it." He laughed as he watched her nibble on her lower lip nervously.

"Right." She grinned, finally opening it, her grin growing into a full blown smile. "Aw! Baby! I love it! I really really do! Thank you!" She put it down on the table, quickly switching seats to hug him tightly, placing a quick kiss on his lips. "It's really perfect."

"I'm glad." He kissed her again, this time deepening it until she pulled away. He watched as she reached across the table and grabbing it. He looked down at the framed photograph, and was happier than ever that he did it. The gold frame that had "Mark and Meredith" written on the bottom made the picture stand out for what it really was. Perfection.

"Who took the picture?" She asked, trying to remember who'd been sitting by them that night.

"One of the nurses." He laughed, shaking his head, thankful for the nosy nurses for the first time since he'd moved there. "Apparently we had fans before even we realized."

"Well you know what they say.." She laughed before kissing him again.

"That we're unbelievably hot?" He asked against her lips.

"Something like that." She nodded before grabbing his hand with her free one. "Let's get out of here so we can finish what we should have then." She giggled, not even bothering to wave to Izzie and George who were both at the bar.

**The End!**

**AN:: I'm not sure if there's going to be an epilogue, depends mostly if anyone is still reading this. I understand if you've given up. But I think it'd be okay to end there. But I do have an idea for an epilogue, so let me know! Thanks for sticking with me! I really hope you guys enjoyed this story as much as I did. **


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